On My Own: Part 2
by Jai L
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Joss Whedon's universe. It's a nice universe, we all love his universe. Well, we know the deal, so let's hurry it up, okay?



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Part Two

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A week passed, and Buffy was getting back into slaying habits. She had decided not to confront her mother yet, but instead alternately stayed at Willow's or Cordelia's. Everyone was still finding it hard to accept her, but it was becoming easier.

Currently, she sat in the cemetery, getting back into the patrolling rut. She made it a habit to visit Xander's grave. The official story was that he had disappeared, like so many of the other kids in Sunnydale. His parents, who were not the best in the world, had given up hope that their son would ever come home, so a few weeks before Buffy came back, they erected a grave for him. The night after the funeral, Cordelia, Oz, Willow and Giles spread some of Xander's ashes over the grave. It was their sense of closure. But those wounds would never close.

Buffy searched every night for the vampire that killed Xander. The others had no clue why he was after her, but Buffy was intent in finding out. She wanted to hurt the monster that had killed Xander. She wanted revenge.

The snap of a twig broke Buffy's train of thought and caused her to swing her crossbow around at the person creeping up behind her.

"Whoa! You can drop the Robin Hood look." Whistler said as he raised his hands up.

Buffy lowered her crossbow and looked at the demon.

"I figured you would show up sooner or later. I was figuring a little bit sooner." Buffy said wryly.

"Ah, that sounds like a certain guy we both know." Whistler said with a smile.

Realization kicked in, and Buffy realized that Angel same the same words to her in the beginning of their relationship.

"What's with a cryptic act? I figured Angel was the only person who would do the whole walk up silently gig." Buffy asked.

"Who do you think taught him that?" Whistler asked in return. "I've been around. Keeping an eye on you. Keeping an eye on Sean."

"Who the hell is Sean?" Buffy asked.

"He was the nice guy that did that." Whistler replied as he pointed to Xander's grave.

"You know vampire that killed Xander?" Buffy asked as she grabbed Whistler's shirt.

"Oh, come on. Play nice." Whistler said as he knocked her hands away.

"Look, if you know the piece of shit that murdered Xander, I want to know!" Buffy yelled.

"You'll know soon enough." Whistler responded mysteriously.

Whistler's eyes became fixed on an area behind Buffy. An expression of shock crossed his faced as he whipped out a cross and yelled, "Vampire!"

Buffy whirled around to find no one behind her. She spun around and found Whistler gone. Shit! Fell for the oldest, and might I add, weakest trick in the book.

"Awww. Pretty girl alone in a cemetery. Why don't you just advertise that the blood banks deliver?"

Buffy turned around at the sound at the new voice. A man in his 20's stood before her. He stood a head taller than her, with light brown hair. He had deep brown eyes, a muscular build, and happened to be one of the most attractive men Buffy had ever met. Suddenly those good looks disappeared as the demonic visage of a vampire took over.

"So, you're the Slayer?" The vampire stated. "Been meaning to meet you. Set up a 'Hi. How are you? You die now.' Just didn't have time to arrange an appointment. But seeing as how now is brunch time, might as well do the whole 'Hello. I killed your friend. You're next on my list of munchies.' Your turn."

"You're Sean." Buffy said, a murderous rage threatening to overwhelm her.

"Thought we covered that." Sean replied.

Buffy screamed as she launched a bolt from her crossbow. It hit just above the vampire's heart, into his left shoulder. It didn't stop him from launching a wicked kick into Buffy's face. Buffy tasted blood, but jumped at the vampire anyway. Sean caught her easily and swung her into a tree. The wind was knocked out of Buffy as he viciously punched her repeatedly in the face. Near unconsciousness, she felt him grab her head and slammed it on Xander's headstone. She fell to the ground as he let go of her. Battered, she saw him back away slowly.

"Why?" Buffy murmured as blood clouded her vision.

"Angel." Sean replied simply.

"What was he to you?" Buffy whispered in curiosity.

"He was my brother." Sean responded as he disappeared into the shadows.

His words escaped Buffy as dawn started to break and unconsciousness kicked in. She was only left with darkness and pain.

* * *
Willow paced in the library. Buffy was supposed to stay over at her house tonight, but never had shown. Later, she called Cordelia's and found out that their friend hadn't gone there either. She called Giles and rushed over here. Even though it was futile to pace, it gave Willow something to do. A quick panic came across her as she wondered if Buffy had left again. She quickly dismissed that thought. Since Buffy had come back, their friendship had become stronger, and Willow knew that Buffy wouldn't leave again. She never found what she was looking for out there, only more questions.


* * *
Giles watched the young red-head pace. He felt like doing the same, but he knew it wouldn't have the desired effect. So he decided to dive into some research. Find out more on the vampire that killed Xander. But that was too hard. His mind kept on wandering to Buffy and the one question that racked his whole being with worry.


* * *
Buffy Summers had fallen. She was slumped against Xander's headstone, unconscious and unable to wake up. Her bleeding had stopped a half hour ago and her blood caked her face and clothes, as well as Xander's grave. The side of her face was slightly swollen, but her black eye was obvious.

Whistler felt a deep sense of regret filling him, but knew that this was supposed to happen. Unfortunately, finding out was hard on her. But he couldn't have warned her. Fortunately, Whistler knew that Sean wouldn't kill the girl.

He knelt down and picked the girl up into his arms. Most people would be surprised to see a man of his size carrying this girl, then again, most people would be surprised to find out that he's a demon. He knew what needed to be done now. He knew what he had to do, and what she needed to do.


* * *
Giles slammed his fist down onto the table.

"Damn it!" Giles yelled. "I shouldn't have let her go out alone!"

Willow winced and was glad that it was Saturday and the sparse amount of staff still in during summer vacation didn't come in today. Luckily, Cordelia and Oz showed up to try and help. After they came they realized they had nothing to help.

"Giles, calm down." Cordelia said, rocking slightly. Obviously, it was easier said than done.

"I'm sure she's okay." Oz added as he wrapped his arm around Willow in support.

Silence followed, everyone was afraid to speak. Willow glanced around hesitantly and could read her friends' faces easily.

"Do you think he got her?" Willow asked in a hushed tone.

Giles grabbed his jacket and said, "I'm going to find her."

Oz moved and grabbed the older man's arm. Giles yanked it away and gave the young man an icy stare. That only lasted a second, then melted away as the Watcher realized that Oz's eyes only showed concern.

"You don't know where to find her." Oz stated simply.

From behind them a new voice entered the conversation.

"She's right here."

Everyone turned to see a short, weirdly dressed man, helping Buffy through the door.

"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed as he ran towards her, followed by the others.

Blood soaked her clothes and was all over her face. Her right eye had the faint markings of a black eye that was almost gone. She tried to smile, but it only came out as a wince.

"What the hell happened to you?" Willow asked.

"Had a close encounter with Sean." Buffy mumbled.

The newcomer helped Buffy into a chair and stood behind her.

"Who's Sean?" Cordelia asked in confusion.

"The vampire that killed Xander." Buffy replied hesitantly.

They had a name now. A name for the murderer of their friend. A name for the murderer of many more.

"And who are you?" Giles asked the badly dressed man.

"Whistler." The man replied simply.

"Yeah, and I'm Hummer." Cordelia retorted and then pointed to Oz. "And that's Singer."

"Funny." Whistler replied. "I would have figured the Slayer's friends to be a bit more sociable."

Willow and the others casted a questioning look to Buffy who said, "Yeah, he knows."

"How?" Willow asked.

"I'm a demon." Whistler answered.

Oz moved quickly and grabbed a sword that was laying on the table. He directed the edge at Whistler who backed up and yelled, "Whoa! Whoa!"

Oz closed in on the demon saying, "I don't know what your agenda is..."

Whistler cut him off and replied, "Hold on a second buddy. You don't see me coming after you with a gun and silver bullets, do you?"

The sword in Oz's hands lowered slightly.

"How'd you know..." Oz started.

"He's a good demon." Buffy interrupted. "It's like, his job to know."

"Yeah, so ease it off there Fido." Whistler added.

Oz lowered the sword all the way, still suspicious of the demon.

"Are you going to be okay?" Willow asked Buffy.

"Yeah. All I need is a shower, some new clothes, and a little rest and I'll be as good as new." Buffy replied with a small smile.

Cordelia went into Giles' office to get Buffy's extra bag of clothes and returned.

"Right. Um, here are my house keys." Giles said as he handed over his keys to Willow. "She can, uh, freshen up there. I'll research our new foe, Sean. Now that I have a name, it'll be easier for me to find information."

"Hey!" Oz interrupted. "Whistler's gone."

Sure enough, the mysterious demon had disappeared. Willow got an odd feeling that he'd be back again, and soon.

Buffy stood up and leaned against Oz as they moved towards the door. Willow and Cordelia followed, but they all stopped as Giles' voice rang out.

"Buffy?" Giles asked. "Did Sean say anything that I might find useful in my search?"

Buffy's voice sent chills down Willow's spine as the Slayer said, "Yeah. He said that he was Angel's brother."

With that, the four teenagers left, leaving the librarian behind. Each was shocked, and left with more questions than answers.

* * *
"I'm sorry." Giles said as he closed on of his books. "I've researched all that I can find on Sean. But in all the Watcher chronicles, and books of the occult, I cannot find one reference to him or Angel's brother. Are you sure that he said he was Angel's brother?"

Buffy sighed inwardly. She was still sore from her fight with Sean, but in most aspects, she was fine. Her bruises and cuts were healing nicely, and she was feeling better.

"Giles, I'm positive." Buffy replied. "Yeah, I was pretty messed up, but that is what he said." "I don't know what to say." Giles responded. "According to all these books, Angel had no siblings."

"Who said anything about siblings?"

Everyone turned to see Whistler standing by the door with a small grin on his face.

"You know, people knock before coming into a room uninvited." Buffy said with an annoyed expression across her face.

"Well I'm not a person. Demon remember?" Whistler replied. "Our boy Angel didn't have any brothers or sisters in the literal sense. Well, when he was alive he did, but they're long dead and gone."

"Then what's up with this Sean guy?" Buffy asked. "And don't give me a cryptic answer. My head is pounding and I'd appreciate a straightforward answer."

"Sean is Angel's blood brother." Whistler answered. "After Angel turned for the first time, the first vampire he made was Sean. Now before that, they were good buddies. As close as any two friends can get without being related. As vampires, they got into a whole brotherly love bit. They drank from the same people, fought the same battles, became so close that they unconsciously linked their demons. Pretty easily too. Not like telepathically, but on a deeper plane."

"What kind of plane?" Cordelia asked.

"One that is beyond any of your minds." Whistler answered. "Anyway, time goes on. About a 130 years ago, Sean booked. He and Angel parted ways. While Angel went skipping off to kill, Sean wanted to learn more about the darkness. He was a prodigy in some senses. He accelerated faster than vampires who were created centuries before him. He traveled, learned, killed. He basically did a whole Kung-Fu thing, except with lots and lots of dead bodies."


Willow giggles slightly and said in a deep and somewhat mocking voice, "Go to Chinatown. Ask for Sean."

Whistler gave her an amused look, which quickly vanished, and was replaced by a solemn expression. The demon continued and said, "In his 242 years of existence, he's grown to become as powerful as a master vampire."

"So we have a fairly young vampire, who is as powerful as a master vamp." Oz stated. "Joy."

"He's broken a lot of the standards to vampire living." Whistler continued. "Angel was all about brawn. With Sean, it was about smarts. He knows a lot about black magic and the occult. Remember your buddy, Xander? He manages to make him a vampire in a few minutes, while it takes everyone else a day to turn. Like I said, the boy's powerful. Like the Master."

Buffy sighed wearily and said, "No biggie. I offed the Master. Sean should be no hassle. I'll just kill him."

"No can do." "Whistler said. "This is one boy that you can't kill. Only slow down."

"What do you mean Buffy can't kill him?" Willow asked. "She's the Slayer. Slayer of bad things that need slaying."

"It's not in her destiny." Whistler replied. "Sean has a purpose that has to be fulfilled. His own destiny. If he doesn't do it, the world will suffer."

"So... Let me get this straight." Buffy said in a combination of shock and anger. "I'm supposed to let an evil, undead demon live, no matter what?"

"Basically, yeah." Whistler responded with a small smile. "At least until his purpose has been served."

The cryptic man slowly stepped away and started to leave.

"Oh no you don't!" Buffy yelled as she followed him out of the library, leaving her friends behind.

"Sorry girlfriend, but this mystery guy has to disappear into the night... err.. day. Have a rep to maintain, ya know?" Whistler said as he walked down the hall.

"That's it?? You think you can jump in and give some information and jet?" Buffy said as she caught up to him and walked next to him.

"I've done it before." Whistler replied. "The act isn't going to change anytime soon."

The Slayer and the Immortal both stalked out of the school. Buffy knew that Whistler wanted her to get lost, but she wasn't going to give up on this guy. She followed him into the park before speaking up again.

"Look, all I'm asking for is help." Buffy said. "And I gave it." Whistler replied.

"Look, you jerk!" Buffy yelled as she grabbed his arm. "I am tired of this wiseman bullshit. I'm tired of the crap I gotta go through and the fact that you guys stand in the sidelines! It's pissing me off!"

"You want answers?" Whistler asked. "Fine. I'm an immortal demon who has to even the battle between good and evil. That's a battle that good isn't winning. And as much as I might want to help, I can't. There's a larger picture here. You have to think about the next day with the next demon. I have to think about the next hundred years and Armageddon."

The two stood there, facing each other in silence.

"I'm sorry." Buffy whispered.

"I know." Whistler replied in an equally hushed tone.

Buffy looked at Whistler and asked, "We're not, you know? Bonding here, are we?"

Whistler's face mocked horror as he replied, "Heaven forbid."

"Look." Whistler said. "I know how hard it is for you. There is no one around you that understands what it's like to be you. You feel like an outsider half the time. I know that you feel alone and tired. And I know that you're looking for help."

"Yeah." Buffy responded. "All I ever wanted was a normal life. But being the Slayer is a lone term. Even with my friends around me, I still feel alone. And you're right. I do want help. My friends can only do so much, but when the big showdown happens, I need someone who can really help."

"Well, I know where you can get that help." Whistler said.

"Where?" Buffy asked.

Whistler pointed to the large building in front of them. Buffy didn't remember how they had gotten there. She had been so engrossed in the conversation, that she had not noticed that they had walked from the school, through the park, and all the way down to a church.

"A church?" Buffy asked. "You mean God?"

"Couldn't hurt." Whistler answered.

"Um, you're not, you know, one of those crazy Jehovah Witness type guys, are you?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. I've been doing all of this to convert you." Whistler replied sarcastically. "As I see it, the biggest help you can get is from the top daddy-o."

"There's a little problem." Buffy said while looking at her feet. She had the expression of a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"What would that be?" Whistler asked.

"Oh wow! You don't know?" Buffy said with a sheepish grin. "I... I kinda... I don't believe in him."

"What?" Whistler said with an incredulous look in his eyes. "You're saying that you, the Slayer, the girl who fights demons, do not believe in the almighty?"

"My family is catholic, but not practicing Catholics!" Buffy said. "And after all I've seen, I lost all the faith I had."

"So, in your life, there's no God?" Whistler asked.

"After all the death, all the monsters, I just can't believe He exists." Buffy replied.

"Did it ever occur to you that if there are demons and the Devil, then there's a God?" Whistler questioned.

A thoughtful look passed Buffy's face.

"Think about it kiddo." Whistler said as he adjusted his hat. "We all need some faith."

With that, Whistler walked off. Buffy looked at the church. She sighed inwardly and walked up the steps and into the church. It was one of those basic old churches. It had the whole huge stained glass motif. The rows of pews. The huge cross in the front. She saw that there was no one there.

Buffy walked to the front of the church with a sense of dread.

The Slayer knelt in the first row of the church. She made the sign of the Holy Trinity awkwardly and looked up at the cross.

"Uh..." Buffy said as her voice croaked. "Um, hi God. I know that it's been a while. But, I've been busy. Been doing the whole Slayer deal, but of course You know that. You're God. I'm not even sure You're out there. I don't know if You can even hear me. I mean, I kinda turned my back on You, what's to stop You from turning Your back on me? But, I wouldn't figure You to do that. You forgive. I'm coming to You... because... I'm tired. I've lost so much. I don't know why You picked me. I'm just tired. Too many people died because of me. I just want help, You know? A lending hand? I'm tired of doing this alone. Whistler says that You'll help me. You'll guide me, I suppose. Would You help me? I know that I don't have the strongest faith, but if You could help me through this... I'd appreciate it."

Buffy made the sign of the Holy Trinity again and got up. It was weird. She looked upwardly and smiled slightly.

She turned around and walked out of the church, whispering, "Thank you."


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