Whatever It Takes: Part 4
by Tracy Girlie
With Cordelia around, it seemed more of a friendly visit. Less threatening for everyone. And soon they slipped into the familiar banter of old friends. They got to the pizza parlor and ate heartily, everyone contentedly rubbing their stomachs by the end of the meal.

Xander was only semi-surprised when a particular guy approached their table. Cordelia had been sending him motions all night. She must have planted him here. Xander's admiration for Cordy's trickery grew. He introduced himself as Jack, and he spoke to them all for a few minutes conversationally before he finally asked Cordy if she would like to go for a coffee somewhere. She happily accepted and was gone before either Xander or Willow could protest.

Minutes later, Willow seemed to gather her wits again. She reached for her purse and began rummaging through it. "I hope I have the keys to her car with me," she mumbled, relieved when she found them. "What was she thinking?" she said more loudly, looking at Xander.

"She was influenced by love. It makes you do the wacky." Xander replied.

"I see." Willow sought a way to nip this conversation in the bud. Xander was looking at her that way again. "How would you feel about picking up a video? I know it's kinda anti-climactic to fly across the country to watch a movie, but-"

Xander cut her off. "I'd love to."

He was staring at her intently. She swallowed hard and looked at her hands. "We'd better go if we want to have any kind of selection."

Xander stood and helped her on with her jacket. He threw some money down on the table and grasped her elbow lightly to steer her out of the restaurant. She shook her head slightly as he held the door open for her and then took the car keys from her to open the car door. He never acted this gentlemanly. Not even with Cordelia or Buffy. He was going to be harder to convince than she thought. She started the car and drove to the video store nearest to the apartment. She and Xander finally settled on a comedy, and she paid for the video quickly. His hovering was getting out of hand. She wanted to get home to her own turf.

Once in the apartment again, she told him to go sit down while she made some popcorn. In the kitchen, she almost collapsed with relief. Although her head was telling her that Xander didn't mean any of it, that he was confused, her heart and body were taut with the thrill of being near him again. He'd been so --- loving all night. Smiling at her in that way, holding doors for her, carefully steering her through crowds as if he was protecting her. Her heart was overfilled with joy at all this attention, while her head shrieked caution at every turn. She closed her eyes and prayed for the strength to do what she had to do. The timer sounded loudly on the microwave, indicating the popcorn was ready. She carefully emptied it into a bowl, and opened two cans of soda. She arranged it all on a tray and returned to the living room.

Xander was fast-forwarding through the previews when she returned. He smiled at her, hoping he was conveying all his love in the act. She nervously returned his smile and set the tray down. She sat beside him and handed him a drink. He wrapped his hand around hers as he took it, and her eyes flew to his. "Xander, I -"

"Shhh," he said, softly placing a finger against her lips. "I just wanted to get your full attention so I could tell you something." She was about to protest again, but he pressed his finger firmly against her lips. Which distracted him. They were so soft. He wanted more than anything in his life to kiss her right then. But he knew that would be the exact wrong thing to do, so he murmured, "Shhh" again. "Will, I just wanted to tell you that I'll wait as long as it takes until you believe me. I know that you think that this is just some silly phase I'm going through, but it's not. I was so stupid. I wake up every morning and go to sleep every night hating myself for being so stupid. I hate myself for not seeing the truth sooner. I've loved you for a long time, Willow. I was just too thick to realize it. And I'm sorry for all those years I hurt you. I want to spend the rest of my life erasing that hurt. I want to make you happy. And I'll wait until you're ready to believe me, because there are only two things in life I couldn't stand. One is if you don't love me, and two is if you don't think that I love you." He watched her eyes fill with tears as he spoke. Her lower lip began trembling against his finger. He moved his finger up to her cheek and swiped away the lone tear that had escaped her eyes. He stared deeply into them. "I LOVE you, Willow Rosenberg."

Willow stared back for what seemed to be an eternity. The enormous lump in her throat made it impossible to speak. She looked into his eyes, looking for any sign of that old passive Xander who would no doubt leave her alone and shattered. She tried to remember if his eyes had ever had that intense look when he looked at Cordy or Buffy. And her heart twisted and sang as she realized that he truly meant it. What was she going to do now? Did she love him? 'YES!' her heart shrieked back. What about Jason? 'Jason who?' her heart responded. Oh, Xander, it would be so easy to love you. But do you really mean it? Are you going to change your mind and leave me? He was looking at her expectantly. She couldn't speak. The tears wouldn't let words through.

"Will, you don't have to say anything now. Just think about it, okay?" She nodded her head vigorously and attempted a wobbly smile. He leaned forward and kissed her very softly on the lips. The pressure was slight at first, but then more insistent. It was a kiss that was everything she'd ever dreamed a kiss could be. Passionate, loving, daring and reassuring all at once. She felt tingly all over, and when his lips parted from hers, she felt her heart dip precariously.

He reached for her hand and entwined her fingers with his. His other hand hit the play button on the remote. He felt a ray of hope as brilliant as pure sunshine light up his heart. She didn't chastise him, didn't deny that his love was real, had let him kiss her and was letting him hold her hand. He knew he had a whole weekend of reinforcing the idea that he loved her ahead of him, but he smiled as he realized that he would gladly spend the rest of his life reassuring her that his love was real.

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