This Love: This Love
by Buffyanglvr
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB Network, and 20th Century Fox. I’m just borrowing them…I’ll be sure to give them back!

Summary: Spoilers for graduation part 2 so be warned! Takes place the day after graduation.



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“I just still can’t believe it. He didn’t even say goodbye to me. He just left,” Buffy cried to Willow.

“I know, I know. He’s just a big jerk. A big jerk with no heart,” Willow tried to say comfortingly.

Buffy looked up and tried to think. It was still hard to believe he was gone. “I can’t keep doing this. I understood why he had to leave, why he couldn’t be near me…I just don’t understand the reason he had to hurt me so much.” < I save his life and this is what he does to me. > Buffy felt lost in emotions. She knew and understood the reason why he left. She knew he was doing the right thing by leaving that night. But deep, down inside her it hurt too much. Too much for her to stand. It hasn’t even been a day since he left and she already felt something missing. Something stabbing her in the middle of her heart.

“Will, I’m okay. I just have to go…and ugh, be alone for awhile you know?”

“Of course, Buffy.” She stared at her heart broken friend. “If you feel better tonight, you should try to come to the after-graduation party,” Willow said cautiously. “It’ll help you take your mind off – “

“Right, the party. I’ll try,” Buffy said before Willow could mention his name.

“Okay, then. Talk to you soon I guess,” she smiled with disappointment in her eyes. Buffy was the only person that she could never help…friendwise. She would never know how Buffy felt, no matter what circumstance. The only thing she could do now is try and be there for her best friend.


* * *
Buffy sat there a moment, alone in her bedroom. It had been almost half and an hour after Willow left, but she didn’t even realize it. She was remembering the last time she saw Angel. Standing there in the chaos and noise of the street. But she didn’t notice any of the smoke, firefighters, and people around her. She just stared straight into his sad-filled eyes. He tried to hide the pain and hurt he had caused her all those years but it wasn’t hidden through hers. She could see straight through him, even from a distance. A part of her wanted to run to him and not let him go while the other part didn’t want to move. She wanted to know if he really would walk out of her life, leave her alone in this world without him. And he did, he did.

Buffy held back the tears that started to swell up in her eyes and got up from her bed and walked out of her house. It was almost sunset and the cold breeze sent her back shivering. She had to stop thinking about him. He was gone, like before. Before, she thought. There were so many times when she’d push him away, and finally when he did it, it gave her a pain that would last an eternity. She had to understand him, like all those times when he understood her.

The party, she thought. She needed something to distract her from him. Being beside the gang that night would keep her thoughts away…it was perfect.

Buffy entered the party slowly, dressed to kill. Her clothes hung tight around her body that made her glow that evening. She spotted Willow and the rest of the gang not far ahead.

“Buffy, wow. I didn’t think I’d recognize you under all that beauty.” Xander immediately shot out. She smiled a flattered smile as if he planned to say that to make her feel better.

“How are you?” Willow asked concerned.

“I’m better. Great, actually. But I won’t be staying long, I feel like going home early tonight.” Willow nodded with agreement and they enjoyed the rest of the night.

***

Buffy said her goodbyes and insisted she would be okay walking home alone that night. Xander was always extra cautious when it came to Buffy.

The moon gave out an incredible shine that night. She was happy she decided to walk home, to witness the beauty of the sky. But the sky didn’t protect her from all the dangers that would lie ahead. She knew she could take care of herself without him, she’d done that before, already. But she wanted the comfort of him, the love they shared. She didn’t just want it, she needed it.

A sudden noise sounded behind her. Buffy whipped around but was surprised to be standing there alone. She swore she was being watched. A weird feeling crept over her as if Angel were there. Like before, watching her…looking over her. But she knew it wasn’t, he didn’t want to be near her…he had already left.

“Show yourself!” she commanded. As much as she didn’t want to fight that night, it was her sacred duty, no way from hiding from it. Silence. She gave a disgruntled look and walked like her usual self, leaving the stubborn vampire alone. “I’m gonna find you one day anyway,” she warned. “if it’s at a dark alley, or a small graveyard. And you know what happens next. Poof! Ashes…” she smiled and headed her way. Wondering if the vampire had heard her.


* * *
She was right, he thought. He hadn’t left yet. < I can’t leave her. > He stood there in the dark as usual. Why hadn’t he left yet? He was suppose to be gone by now. He still remember the night before. He couldn’t stop hurting her. He was too weak to say goodbye to her. He didn’t want to admit it, but he wouldn’t have enough strength to face her and say their final goodbyes.

Angel swiftly walked through the night with pain in his heart. Even though his mind told him to leave his heart ached with loneliness. He had to see her one more time before he goes…

The End! Feedback please! I need some to carry on this story. If you have any ideas or thoughts on this story please email me!


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