In Fair Sunnydale...: Acts IV and V
by Veggiebelle
ACT IV
SCENE I. WESLEY'S APARTMENT.
(Enter WESLEY and RILEY)
WESLEY
You too? Pardon, I mean... On Thursday? So soon?
RILEY
It's all Giles's idea. I'm not saying I mind, though.
WESLEY
But you don't yet know if she will marry you? I'm not certain if this is a good idea.
RILEY
She grieves for Xander, so right now isn't a good time for me personally to talk about love and marriage. Giles hopes that a wedding will lessen her pain a little. That's really the only reason he asked to hurry this up.
WESLEY
(Aside) I wish I could slow this down.
(To RILEY) Wait look, here's Buffy now.
(Enter BUFFY)
RILEY
Buffy! My fiance! Soon to be my wife!
BUFFY
Um, yeah, sure. Soon. Right.
RILEY
Really soon. Thursday, according to Giles.
BUFFY
Right. Nifty.
RILEY
And you're here to talk to Wesley about the wedding, right?
BUFFY
Riley... there's something I have to tell you....
RILEY
Buffy, you've been crying. I know things have been bad for you lately. I'm here for you.
BUFFY
There's more that's wrong than just the tears.
RILEY
Don't put yourself down, Buffy. We all understand.
BUFFY
Wesley, do you have time to talk now? Or should I come back?
WESLEY
I have time to spare for you now, certainly.
RILEY
Buffy, I'll see you Thursday. Looking forward to it.
(Exit)
BUFFY
I'm so screwed.
WESLEY
I heard. You are to be married to Riley on Thursday.
BUFFY
What do I do? I'm already married to Spike!
WESLEY
I have an idea, but it is dangerous. It will bring you close to death.
BUFFY
I've already died twice, so no big. Tell me what to do.
WESLEY
Here is the plan, then. Go home and pretend that you are agreeable to the marriage to Riley. Tomorrow, take this potion. It will make you seem as if you are dead. Your blood with slow and your heartbeat will be almost silenced. Forty-two hours later, if my calculations are correct, you will awake as if from a deep sleep. However, in the meantime, your family will think you dead, and the marriage will not happen. I shall have Spike meet you in the graveyard, and then you and he will be free to escape together to Los Angeles. But it will not be pleasant, this potion. Are you quite certain you wish to do this?
BUFFY
Give it to me.
WESLEY
We're agreed, then. I will get the message to Spike in Los Angeles. He shall be waiting for you.
BUFFY
Thank you, Wesley!
(Exeunt)
SCENE II. ROOM IN SUMMERS' HOUSE.
(Enter GILES, JOYCE, WILLOW, and DAWN)
GILES
So much to do to prepare. Dawn, are the caterers getting everything ready?
DAWN
I guess. Hope they're better than the last ones.
GILES
Buffy has gone to speak to Wesley, correct?
WILLOW
Yes indeedy!
GILES
He's sure to talk some sense into her head.
WILLOW
Look! She's back! And she looks a heck of a lot happier, don't you think?
(Enter BUFFY)
GILES
Buffy! You are looking better. How are you?
BUFFY
Giles, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. You were right. I guess I just needed a little time to get used to the whole idea.
GILES
I understand. And I will let Riley know. You made the right decision, Buffy.
BUFFY
Wesley was a big help.
GILES
I'm glad to hear it. I must remember to thank him when I see him next.
BUFFY
Willow, will you help me find something to wear?
JOYCE
Buffy, you have plenty of time.
GILES
No, go ahead. It will be enjoyable for them both.
Exeunt BUFFY and WILLOW
JOYCE
It's already so late. Will we be ready in time?
GILES
I'll take care of it all. Go and help Buffy. That's far more important.
(Exeunt)
SCENE III. BUFFY'S ROOM.
(Enter BUFFY and WILLOW)
BUFFY
I'm just not into the clothes thing, Wil. I guess I need a little me-time tonight. Please don't be mad.
(Willow shakes her head and hugs her. Enter JOYCE)
JOYCE
Need any help?
BUFFY
No, Mom, I'm okay. Willow was just leaving, anyway.
JOYCE
Good night. Get some rest. It's been a long week.
(Exeunt JOYCE and WILLOW)
BUFFY
Good night, Mom. Good night, Willow. I'll miss you.
What if this doesn't work? Or what if this actually kills me? Um, well, if it doesn't work, I'll just run away. Um, again. And if it kills me, then Xand and I will be hanging out and watching movies for all eternity. Either way, the risk's not so bad. Bottom's up! {Drinks the potion} Ew! Why couldn't it be chocolate flav---
(BUFFY falls upon her bed within the curtains)
SCENE IV. KITCHEN IN THE SUMMERS' HOUSE.
(Enter JOYCE and WILLOW)
JOYCE
Would you take the keys and grab more spices?
WILLOW
I think we need more dates for the pastry.
(Enter GILES)
GILES
Morning! Lots to do for the wedding!
WILLOW
Did you get any sleep? Please, Giles, get some rest! It's a big day!
GILES
No, I'm fine, truly. Far too much to do to think of sleep on a day like today.
JOYCE
Just don't over-exert yourself.
(Exeunt JOYCE and WILLOW)
GILES
Let's see, we have food, chairs, decorations, the groom on his way... Oh, the bride! Willow!
(Re-enter WILLOW)
Would you go and awaken Buffy and help her get ready? Riley will be here soon.
(Exeunt)
SCENE V. BUFFY'S BEDROOM.
(Enter WILLOW ))
WILLOW
Buffy? Buffy, wake up! Isn't it exciting? It's your wedding day! And Riley will be here any minute!
(Undraws the curtains)
Buffy, you're dressed. Buffy?
(looks at BUFFY, realizes that she is not breathing) Buffy! No! No, please don't be dead! I can't lose you, too!
(Enter JOYCE)
JOYCE
Willow, what's wrong?
WILLOW
Look! Oh god, I can't... This can't be happening!
JOYCE
Buffy! Oh please god, no!
(Enter GILES)
GILES
What's taking so long? Riley has just arrived.
WILLOW
She's dead, deceased, she's dead!
GILES
I cannot accept this. No... she is cold and stiff. My god, she is gone.
(Enter WESLEY and RILEY, with Musicians)
WESLEY
Come, is the bride ready to go to church?
GILES
Ready to go, but never to return. She... she is dead.
RILEY
I've waited for this day for so long, and am greeted by this?
JOYCE
My daughter... gone.
WILLOW
A horrible day in a horrible week. I can't take this.
RILEY
This death has ruined my one chance at happiness. Anybody know of any helicopters leaving soon?
GILES
We will never know joy again without her.
WESLEY
Take comfort in the fact that she is surely in a heavenly dimension now. Grieve, yes, but take comfort that you knew her in the short years she had with us.
GILES
Instead of a wedding celebration, it will be a burial feast.
WESLEY
I recommend that you prepare for the funeral.
(Exeunt GILES, JOYCE, RILEY, and WESLEY)
OZ
So... do we still play? We're not much for funerals.
WILLOW
Yes, we'll need music, definitely.
(Exit)
OZ
We can figure out something.
(Enter ANYA)
ANYA
Play something cheery.
OZ
Is that appropriate? I'm thinking not
ANYA
But something cheery is good when things are bad. You won't?
OZ
No.
ANYA
I'm sorry. I just thought it would help.
(Exit)
OZ
Huh.
DEVON
Are we still getting dinner with this gig?
(Exeunt)
ACT V
SCENE I. LOS ANGELES. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD.
(Enter SPIKE)
SPIKE
If I can trust dreams, then after the one last night.. S'all going to work out.
(Enter HOLDEN)
Holden, you've got news for me? How is the Master? Buffy's still all right?
HOLDEN
Dude, sorry to have to tell you this, but she's dead. Just happened. Thought you'd want to know.
SPIKE
Not possible. I won't believe it. If you're lying to me...
HOLDEN
Whoa there, calm down.
SPIKE
And nothing from Wesley?
HOLDEN
Nada.
SPIKE
Get me a vehicle, I have to get back to Sunnydale.
(Exit HOLDEN)
There is no life for me if she's gone. I will return to Buffy tonight, then, and join her in death.
(Dramatic Angsty Exeunt)
SCENE II. WESLEY'S APARTMENT.
(Enter LORNE)
LORNE
Wes! Hey, bro! What's the new dish here in Hellmouthsville?
(Enter WESLEY)
WESLEY
Lorne, I'm relieved that you're here. Did you find Spike? What did he say?
LORNE
Well, I ran into a little snag. There was this demon, and he caused this psychic infection in a house over in Ventura, and I had to help out the poor sods out and... You know how it is.
WESLEY
Who got the letter to Spike, then?
LORNE
Hate it say it, but it never got sent. Got it right here. Look, I would've if I could've, I really would.
WESLEY
Lorne, do you realize what you've done? The information contained in this letter was of the highest importance. Someone could now be in serious danger. Please, I need a crowbar. Would you get one for me?
LORNE
Got it covered like a Nat King Cole classic.
(Exit)
WESLEY
I will fetch Buffy from the tomb and keep her here until Spike can be reached. The poor dear, buried alive. (pauses) Strange, why do I have a sense of deja vu?
(Exit)
SCENE III. A GRAVEYARD; IN A TOMB BELONGING TO THE SCOOBY GANG.
(Enter RILEY, bearing flowers and a torch. Because flashlights are so passe.)
RILEY
Buffy, I will think of you every single day. We would have been so perfect for each other... Wait. Someone's coming. That's odd. Who could be out here so late?
(Hides behind a handy gravestone)
(Enter SPIKE and HOLDEN)
SPIKE
Give me that wrenching iron. And whatever you see or hear, don't interfere. I'm choosing to do this, and I won't be stopped. If you try and stop me, you'll be wishing I left you to bake in the sunlight. Got it?
HOLDEN
Whatever floats your boat. If you're suicidal, that's your deal.
SPIKE
Good. Now get the hell out of here.
HOLDEN
(Aside) This is too interesting of a show to miss. I'm sticking around.
(HOLDEN leans against a nearby tree)
SPIKE
Still hungry, Death? I'm coming down so you can choke on me.
(Opens the tomb)
RILEY
Spike? I thought he was banished... But I'm not gonna let me touch my bride to be. That's just sick.
(Strides forward)
Stop it right there. Don't take another step, vampire. You're not allowed in this town anymore. The Mayor says that you are to be killed on sight. But here you are. Funny, I'm not all that sad about being the one to do this.
SPIKE
I'm here for death, yeah, but you're not part of the plan, mate. Just call me mad and leave it at that. I'm not lookin' for a fight today. Leave now, if you know what's good for you. Forget you saw me.
RILEY
Hostile 17, by the authority of the U.S. Military, you're being taken into custody pending a determination of your status.
SPIKE
You're looking to arrest me, soldier-boy? Now? I'd like to see you try.
(They fight. SPIKE stabs RILEY with a handy dagger)
RILEY
You... you killed me.
(Falls and begins Over-Dramatic Death Scene.)
Please, if there is any part of you that it not evil, do something for me. Lay me next to my love Buffy. I want to be with her forever.
(Dies. Gets Oscar for Over-Dramatic Death Scene.)
SPIKE
Yeah, fine, I'll do it. I get why. For the love of the slayer.
(Laying RILEY in the tomb)
Xander, Riley, and my love Buffy. All dead. On the plus side, my body count's lookin' respectable again. But losing Buffy... I can't bear it.
(Pulls a stake out of his pocket)
Time to end this.
(Enter, at the other end of the graveyard, WESLEY, with a lantern, crow, and spade)
WESLEY
I just hope I make it there before she awakens. (hears a noise) Who's there?
HOLDEN
Hey, just me, buddy of Spike's. Not looking for a snack or anything.
WESLEY
Oh, good. Tell me, who is in the monument?
HOLDEN
Spike.
WESLEY
Excellent! How long has he been there?
HOLDEN
Not long.
WESLEY
Come with me to the vault.
HOLDEN
Uh, y'know, I'd really rather not. The thing is, if I go near him right now, he said he'd do some pretty nasty stuff to me.
WESLEY
Fine, stay. I don't have time to argue.
HOLDEN
(calls after WESLEY) There might've been a fight. Wasn't really paying attention. Just so you know.
(WESLEY enters the crypt just as SPIKE dusts himself)
WESLEY
Spike!
(Advances)
What has happened to drive him to this act? Did he not know that his love lived still? What about those supposedly keen vampire senses?
(Enters the tomb)
And Riley as well? So much death... And this is, in part, my fault for setting up the charade. I am a bad man. How could this have fallen apart so horribly? Buffy! Can you hear me? Are you awake?
(BUFFY wakes)
BUFFY
(Yawns) Wow, I feel well-rested. That's a switch. Where's Spike?
(Ominous noises are heard from nearby)
WESLEY
I'm sorry, Buffy, but Spike... he is dead. Riley as well. Come, let me take you somewhere safe.
(Ominous noises are heard again)
I dare no longer stay.
BUFFY
Spike... dead? But you said... No. Get away from me. I won't go anywhere with you.
(Exit WESLEY, looking appropriately remorseful)
He left me. He just decided to die while I waited for him in death? That's rude. Why didn't he wait for me? It's like that Princess Bride movie... Death can't stop true love. (sees the handy dagger) There's a dagger here. I can follow Spike into dea---
(Pauses)
Wait a second. What am I thinking? I can't believe that I was just seriously considering killing myself. And for a guy? What am I, nuts? If saving the world was involved, then hey, no problem, but this is SO not worth it.
(Begins to leave the vault)
I'm hungry. I wonder if there's food left from the wedding banquet? I think I want a cookie.
(Exeunt)
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