Silliness Ensues: Prologue
by Sita Alighieri
Disclaimer: Well, here it is. Do I own them? No, Joss, Chris Carter, Mutant Enemy, 1013, George Lucas and Robbie Williams own all the stuff mentioned here, except the story line.

Author's Notes: This is mine, I'd love some feedback and flames will be used to feed my pyromania.

Teaser: Come on? Me on caffene, The X-Files, the Slayer and Co, you know it's going to be scary



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Part One

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B: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, (insert theme song here.)
A: Angel, the vampire, ie God.
X: Xander Harris, horny little guy.
C: Cordelia, the bitchy cheerleader.
W: Willow, our own little hacking witch.
O: Oz, the werewolf, a major deity.
G: Book man Giles.
J: Joyce, the evil mother.
M: Mulder (who else?)
S: Scully, the short little red headed whore.
J. S: Jeffery Spender, stupid little fucker.
D: Diana Fowley, the tall, brown haired whore.
L.S: Luke Skywalker.
P.L: Princess Leia.
H.S: Han Solo.
Chewie: How many people can it be?
Let’s get it on!



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Prologue

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. No, it was actually the worst of times. Mulder has duck fluff, Scully’s alive, Skinner’s gone and Diana’s alive. Mulder and Scully can get the X-Files back if they can solve one last case, the case of the Boca Del Inferno in Sunnydale, California. The scene is a plane, the time is 6:03 and Mulder’s asleep.

M: Mmmmmm, cheese steaks.

S: Mulder! Wake up, we’re landing.

M: Umm..., dandy.

S: Mulder, we need to solve this case so wake up!

M: *snort* Sure, I’m up, I’m up. I know we need to.

S: Yup, if we want the X-Files, our office, my collection of potato chips that look like Joe Pescapoe, your porn...

M: Corn!

S: Whatever, videos back we need to find real vampires, get a blood sample, a photo and give them a wedgie.

M: That wasn’t in the contract! Damn you Spender!

S: Mulder, We added it when you went for a whiz. If we don’t do it you don’t get your porn...

M: Corn! They’re cookery shows dealing with maize!

S: Uh huh.

M: Bitch *mutter*.

(Anyhoo, they sulk for a while then land, in snow? In California? Mulder and Scully get off, -the plane ye gutter dwellers- and head to a cheap motel to sleep of the jet lag, -in seperate rooms-. So, they’re asleep, let’s have a change of scenery; Buffy’s house, an inconsolable Buffy is being comforted by Willow and Cordelia while Xander rings for Angel.)

B: That bastard! He tried to kill himself using me as an excuse! Well, that’s not how it works! He’s immortal, he can kill himself when I die!

W: Buffy, listen, why did Angel try to kill himself?

B: Because he’s a bastard who doesn’t care about my emotions or feelings.

C: Like, no Buffy! It’s because he’s totally in love with you!

B: *sniffle* You really think so Cordy?

(Suddenly, Xander walks in).

X: Well, Angel’s afraid to come since you kicked his balls up to his teeth Buffy!

B: I was mad at him, I still am.

X: Well, you could always find another, me for example.

C: Hey! You’re meant to be sucking up to me for forgiveness!

W: And you’re meant to have a crush on me!

X: I’m a guy! What do you expect?

W, C, B: *all nod* Good point.

(Giles walks in looking worried).

G: Buffy, the police have called for two FBI agents to come and help, they’re here and their names are Mulder and Scully.

W: Oooh! I heard about them! They have some kind of a bet with two other agents, if they solve their next case they’ll get back their department, their office, some potato chips and Mulder’s porn...

(A voice off in the distance) It’s corn!

W: Videos. They must have come here to investigate the Hell Mouth.

B: Oh great. Well, at least I can get out of my blue funk and do Slayer stuff.

X: To the graveyard!

C: To the supply closet!

X: There first!

(X and C run off. The others, shaking their heads at these childish antics, run off to the graveyard...)


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