Let It Rain: Let It Rain
by Andrew
They're Joss'.The song belongs to Amanda Marshell.

Summary: Buffy reflects on what happens in 'Bad Girls'.



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I have given, I have given and got none
Still I'm driven by something I can't explain

Buffy sat flipping through her diary, reading the enteries she'd made the year before.Most of them were describing her foolhearty love for the vampire who was once her steady boyfriend, now mearly an ally who had returned from being horribly punished in Hell. Her eyes rested on one entry,dated "June,1998". It described her finale conflict with Angel. She'd taken it to Sacramento,where she'd spent the summer,but forgot all about it.Now that she'd had time to write,the Slayer pulled a pen from her desk and started to scrawl in the old book.

It's not a cross, it is a choice
I cannot help but hear his voice
I only wish that I could listen without shame


'All is well as well will get on the Hellmouth,'

She began.

'I'm a senior, I got 1400 on my SATs.I'm 18.And Angel is back from Hell. I don't know how, or why. I just found him one night. He's got his soul back, thanks very much to Willow, but he's not his old self and I have a feeling he never will be. Not after what I did to him. And I won't ever be myself, not after what he did to me. We're friends but...

Let it rain
Let it rain on me
Let it rain, oh let it rain
Let it rain on me

I have been a witness to the perfect crime
I wipe the grin off of my face to hide the blame
It isn't worth the tears you cry to have a perfect alibi
Now I'm beaten at the hands of my own game

'There is a new Slayer, her name is Faith. We're sort of friends but she recently did something horrible.'

Buffy paused to look to her window. She expected Faith to be there, waiting for her to hurry up and go out for another night of mindless slayage. Or for Angel to be sitting in the branches of the tree, watching her like he so often did the year before. Both as Angel and as Angelus.

'We were out last night, and before I realized what I'd grabbed was actually a human...she'd shoved the stake through his heart. She killed him. And what's more, she doesn't even care. Not about her guilt, or mine. And what's more, she made me swear I won't tell anyone. I can't tell Giles or even Willow.'

Buffy paused her pen and thought back the past few days and how she'd blown Willow off to be with Faith.

Let it rain
Let it rain on me
Let it rain, oh let it rain
Let it rain on me

It isn't easy to be kind

'Willow...I haven't exactly been good to her lately. I've blown off our study dates just be with Faith. Before it would be with Angel, and Willow would actually understand. But Will doesn't exactly appreciate the new Slayer. I saw her in the halls this afternoon when she didn't think I'd be able to see her. She'd been crying...

With all these demons in my mind
I only hope one day I'll be free
I do my best not to complain
My face is dirty from the strain
I only hope one day I'll come clean

'Come clean. I only hope one day I'll be able to confess, to tell and not have Faith erupt. Her guilt will eventually eat away with her. It'll either drive her nuts or...I can't even think of what she would do.'

Buffy thought for a second. She looked up again. She thought she'd seen a shadow...

Let it rain
Let it rain on me
Let it rain, oh let it rain
Let it rain on me

Come take my hand
We can walk to the light
And without fear
We can see through the darkest night

'Well,that's all I can say. I wish I could help Faith. I wish I could tell Willow I'm sorry without her running off. I wish I could forgive Angel and that he would forgive me. It hurts too much, but I have to let it go. There's too much weight on my shoulders and I know I can't manage it now. But I will. Eventually...'

Let it rain
Let it rain on me
Let it rain, oh let it rain
Let it rain on me

Buffy closed her journal and sighed. Her eyes dropped slightly. Then all the way. Her tiny body fell against the pillows on the bed and her soul fell into a deep, dreaming sleep. The window creaked softly the pushed up a little. A figure stepped into the light filled room. The young man who had sneaked in walked slowly to the bed. The Slayer was out like a light. He lifted the book gently off her rising chest. She moved onto her side, away from him.

Angel looked at the book, and read the first lines. His mouth set in a pained look, he put the closed book on her bedside table and pulled the ruffled comforter over the still girl's body. Innocent and weak, that's what she was. But when she had to do the job no one else could, she was tough. She could kill anyone and thing with her hands. But she was still just a child, and Angel knew that with all his heart. With his soul. He walked slowly to the lamp on the other side of the bed and turned it off. The light of the waxing moon lit the young girl's face like a candle, her hair casting shadows. He bent down slightly and kissed the top of her cheek. Her lips moved slightly.

"Don't...go..." she said in a small voice. Angel smiled sadly and walked back to the open window. He slipped through and back into the tree. "Don't...leave." Buffy called back softly. "I love...you." she added before falling back into complete unconsciousness. Angel looked at her with sad love in his eyes and crept out of the tree, leaving her window open. They had many miles to go and no time to sleep. Indeed...


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