I Owe It All To You, B: I owe it all to you, B
by inlovewithangel
“So, how come we never got along?” Faith lit up a cigarette and smoothed out her tight black tank top. She and her sister-in-arms, Buffy Summers, were sitting out on the deck of Giles’ London apartment. It was a month after they had done the spell that activated all the Potentials, and Faith and Buffy were enjoying not saving the world every two days.

“Um,” Buffy scrunched up her face in mock concentration, “I think it had to do with you being all psycho.” She and the girl had been close, at first, but many things had caused the demise of their relationship. Buffy still had trouble looking the younger slayer in the eye, and talking with her so casually. She still wouldn’t exactly call Faith a friend, but she realized now that that’s where things were headed for the two of them. Buffy coughed and waved away the cigarette smoke. “That is such a bad habit,” she scolded.

Faith waved away Buffy’s last comment with a flick of her wrist. “No, really, B, was that all it was?” She sat forward on her knees, and Buffy flinched at the cleavage that spilled over Faith’s top. Faith, at Buffy’s expression, laughed and sat up straight.

“Well, also there was the fact that you tried to sleep with one of my boyfriends, and did with the other.” Buffy shrugged, and tried to hide the fact that it still hurt every time she thought about Faith’s numerous betrayals.

Faith shrugged and nodded. “Yeah,” she said, “sorry about that.” Faith took another drag from her cigarette. “That guy really loved you, you know,” she said, almost to herself. “That army guy.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said, looking out over the city. “I know.”

“I honestly thought you and that farm boy would end up together, living the dream.” Faith flicked her cigarette down onto the street below and looked at Buffy.

Buffy pursed her lips and looked down at her lap. “Well, that never happened.”

Faith raised her eyebrows. “Did you want it to?”

“Looking back…” Buffy sighed and shook out her long blond hair. “No, I guess I didn’t. He wasn’t the…one.” Buffy had a pained expression on her face.

“You’ve still got it bad,” Faith said with a slight smile.

Buffy frowned. “For Riley? No. I got over him a while ago. I mean, it still hurts to think—” Faith cut Buffy off.

“Not for Riley. For Vamp Boy.”

Buffy sighed a long sigh that implied years of complications and pain, but also love and longing. “Angel? Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Buffy had a far away look on her face before shaking her head and turning to Faith. “Oh well. It’s not like we can ever be together.”

“When he turns human,” Faith pointed out.

Buffy started shaking her head emphatically. “Oh no,” she said, “I don’t even allow myself to THINK that. It just results in hoping and wishing, and then very lusty wrong feelings.” Buffy shook her head some more, while Faith laughed.

“Those feelings are how I get through my day,” Faith laughed, and Buffy began to laugh too. After the girls had quieted down a few minutes later, they looked out over the city, sitting together in comfortable silence.

“Faith,” Buffy finally said, “I guess it was more than what you did…” Faith nodded to show Buffy that she was listening. “I guess it had to do with me and you being the same. Just being on different ends of the spectrum, you know?” Buffy looked at Faith, who nodded again, waiting for her to go on. “Like, I knew if I chose to, I could be you. And that scared me.” Buffy suddenly had a feeling of great anxiety, the kind that you get when you’ve been holding onto something for a very long time, and all at once let it go. “Remember when you told me that if I killed you, I would become you?”

Pain flashed in Faith’s eyes as she remembered some of her darkest days. “I remember.”

“It was true.” Buffy cleared her throat. “You hurt me more than anyone’s ever hurt me in my life. I spent so many nights thinking about you. But only because I knew that this move or that move could turn me into you.”

“Fuck,” Faith muttered to herself, “No wonder you hated me.” She shook her head for a few moments and then looked up and smiled.

Buffy, suddenly moved to do something she had never done before, got up from her chair and quickly draped her arm around the other slayer, pulling her into a hug. The expression on Faith’s face was priceless surprise, but she finally grinned, and raised her own arms and encased the smaller girl in them.

“I owe it all to you, B. Thanks,” Faith said into Buffy’s hair.

In that moment, Buffy let go of everything she had been dealing with towards Faith for almost five years. Every bad intention, every hurt feeling, and every spilled tear were now irrelevant. It had all led up to this night, this time where everything Buffy had ever been afraid of no longer needed to be feared. Buffy was stronger than ever before now. She had Willow, Xander, Dawn, Giles, and Angel, and she now had Faith. She was no longer the slayer, no longer the one and only. And, Oh my God, did it feel good.


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