SW6: The Thing Is...: Chapter 2
by Alexandra Huxley
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The thing is?

I could've gone out on a day like that. If that was my last day on earth, I would've died a happy man. I mean, hell, it's only a matter of time, I figure. So sitting there with my best friend in the world? With the taste of Buffy still on my lips? After a brutal fight where I gave as good as I got?

Couldn't have asked for a better day.

I should've known.

Should've fucking known.


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Riley woke up cursing - his arms felt like they were on fire. A doctor came in and asked him some questions - name, rank, who the president was, what year it was.

"Trust me," Riley said, eyes closed tight against the pain, "my memory isn't the problem."

The doctor asked, "Can you feel your arms?"

"Shit, yeah. Wish I couldn't."

"Hands?"

Riley nodded.

The doctor responded, "We don't know a lot about what this thing does. As far as I can tell, though, you beat it. Whatever this is seems to act quickly - two hours ago you had third degree burns; now it's barely a bad sunburn. We'll keep you overnight to be sure, but I see no reason you can't go home tomorrow."

Graham stood up as the doctor was talking; he had been sitting in the corner of the room. He pulled the chair up next to the bed and waited for the doctor to leave before saying, "I still can't believe they gave you Sunnydale."

Understatement of the year. "Kind of surprised myself."

"Yeah. I'll bet." Graham fixed his eyes on Riley's. "So you're back with Buffy. Already."

"Hey, Graham," Riley said, wincing as he sat up. "Nice to see you. How've you been? Gee, thanks - I'm glad I didn't die, too."

Graham ignored Riley's words. "How long?"

So diversion wasn't going to work. How about outright hostility? "Is this really your business?"

"It is if you lose your shit again. Once going through that was enough." Graham's tone softened as he grinned. "And yeah, I'm glad you didn't die. Just wish you wouldn't keep coming quite so close."

Riley looked down at his arms. "What does this thing do?"

Graham said, "First guy we found? Arms, head and torso were totally black. Everything inside frozen through and through. Next guy we actually watched it happen - started with his hand, worked its way up to his shoulder; within thirty minutes he couldn't talk; ten minutes later he was dead."

"Shit," Riley murmured, mostly stunned.

"Tell me about it. We've lost seven guys so far - you're the first one that made it. If the burns reach an open wound..." Graham shook his head. "It seems to feed off warmth. We actually managed to get the last two guys back here before they died. The lab coats just figured out that ice slowed the burns down. You were the first one we tried it on."

Riley sat back against the pillows. "Well, thanks. Damn." That had been much closer than he had come in a while.

Graham leaned back in the chair, hesitating for only a moment before saying, "So Buffy. How long has it been? Two whole weeks?"

Not like it was a surprise, but, "Graham, I really don't need this. Not from you."

"Just saying..."

"Well don't," Riley snapped.

They were quiet for a few minutes before Riley asked, "You heard from Sam?"

There was no hesitation this time. And Graham was clearly annoyed, his arms folded across his chest as he said, "Was wondering when-"

"Graham - just cool it, o.k.?" As if Riley needed another person telling him how messed up this all was. "That's between Sam and me." He looked down. "And the stuff with Buffy - it's not the same as it was when I left. She's not the same. Neither am I."

Graham's turn to snap: "I know. And I'd rather not see you back there."

Considering how much Graham had put up with, Riley supposed he couldn't really cast any blame. "That makes two of us." He stretched his arms out in front of him. Though his hands felt stiff, he could move them; and his skin stung, but the pain was much less intense than it had been, even just a few minutes before. "So I'm the guinea pig, huh? They don't know if the burns will come back?"

Graham shrugged. "Nope. For all they know, your brain could just totally freeze on you. Or you could drop dead. No way to know."

Gee, thanks. "Great. Something to look forward to."

"Hell of a job," Graham said, grinning. "You never quite know how the day's gonna end,"

"Exactly!" Thank you, Graham, for making the Buffy point. "Which is why it only took two weeks."

Graham just shook his head.

Riley looked around for his cell phone. "I should give her a call. I said I'd be back tonight."

"She's probably already asleep." Graham stood. "She called about an hour ago. Was pretty pissed when I told her what happened - something about rushing in with no back up?"

Well, yeah, Riley thought. He was probably going to hear about that one. And she wasn't entirely wrong.

Graham obviously agreed, given the delight he had in telling Riley, "She wanted you to know that patrolling was a bitch and she could've used a massage, but she'd just have to settle for a long, hot bath."

Riley knocked his head back against the wall. Long, hot bath? "That was evil."

With a totally innocent look on his face, Graham added, "And Dawn is spending the night at Janice's."

Long, hot bath plus Dawn out of the house? Damn. "You're making that up."

Graham laughed. "Nah. Couldn't have come up with that on my own." He headed out the door. "Hope you're sleeping better these days. I can warn the nurses if you want."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. The dream's not coming tonight." Not the bad one at least.

Graham nodded, his face serious again. "Just be careful this time around, o.k.?"

Riley smiled as he closed his eyes and sank down against the pillows. "Don't worry. This time's going to be different."


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Should've fucking known.


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Riley woke up the next morning in a great mood. The burns were completely gone. The doctor had no idea of long-term effects or prognosis, but Riley had been tagged enough times by now that Graham knew the uncertainty no longer bothered him. If he could walk on his own and talk on his own, he figured he was good to go.

They were heading to the local diner for breakfast - had the best French toast for miles around. Well, o.k., the only French toast for miles around, but it was still damn good. After breakfast, Graham would drive Riley back to the SUV which was still at the park in Death Valley. From there Riley would head back to Sunnydale. He'd have to come back for a debriefing and the doctor wanted to see him again, but not for at least another week.

They had already been on the road for an hour when Xander called.

Graham watched the veil come over Riley's eyes. It was a look Graham had seen too many times in the past year; one he never wanted to see again. Cold and hard; jaw tightening and knuckles turning white. The voice catching as Riley turned and said, "Get me home. Now."

Fuck.

Graham pushed the gas pedal down as far as it would go. For as much shit as Graham gave Riley about Buffy, Riley had seemed really happy. And he deserved that. He deserved to finally be happy again. Not to lose her so suddenly. Not so soon after finding her again.

Riley didn't say another word for the rest of the trip. Just sat there and looked out the window. Graham knew Riley wasn't seeing a damn thing.


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I had a lot of time yesterday to think about the day she died. None of them talk about it. How could they? How could you possibly relive that? Say the words out loud and make it happen again?

The thing is, Dawn deserves so much more. She should have her mom and her sister. A kid can't do it alone; it's hard enough as it is.

I mean...

God, I can't even breathe.

I mean - how do you move on? How do you watch the woman you love die in your arms? How do you let her spirit drift away knowing there's nothing you can do to hold on? How do you possibly move on?

Willow... Sweet, kind, innocent Willow. How do you possibly move on?

And Xander. To see that light go out twice. Three times, actually. Maybe you get to the point where you just expect her to come back. Maybe you just expect some miracle will bring her back again. How else do you watch her do what she does every day?

Jesus. Tara's dead. I hope it was quick. I hope the last thing she saw was Willow's smile. I hope she never knew what hit her.

Buffy... Shit.

The thing is - it must have pissed her off. A gun. Warren-fucking-Mears' gun.

She should have at least been given the chance to fight. To go down in a face off against a thousand year old vampire. Or jumping off a tower to save her sister and stop the end of the world. Hell, even saving Angel. But not like this. It shouldn't end like this.

The thing is... I thought we'd have a little more time. I wasn't even thinking long-term here. Just taking it one day at a time. Just one more fucking day.

The thing is yesterday was...the kind of day you dream about. You get the girl, you hit the open road, you go out in a blaze of glory. The odds are good I won't make it to thirty, you know? So if I had to pick a day, that would have been it. Yesterday was so...

It would've been the day to go. It was that kind of day.

So fucking great. Couldn't have asked for a better day. Probably didn't deserve it.

But I should've known...it was never meant to be. The light can only burn for so long. You can't hold on to a spirit.

Doomed from day one.

I should've known.

Should've fucking known.







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