Delivery: Delivery
by Shadowkat
Unfortunately I do not own the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of the characters connected with it.

However, I do lay claim to this story idea and Bob the Courier of Darkness and most of the cool things that have been written.

Please excuse any and all spelling mistakes and any other mistakes I have made.

If you have feedback, please SEND it. And without further adieu my first fanfic.


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Rupert Giles, the resident Watcher, was working at the table in the library doing things librarians do (for a change). When all of a sudden, there in the middle of the library, in a big puff of smoke, stands what looks to be a... a... no, no it can't be a mail-courier? Giles stands, there with a very puzzled look on his face, staring at this Courier - What in the Hellmouth, was that? -.

The Courier calmly walks (looking around) over to the Watcher. Giles catches a glimpse at the name-tag on the Couriers's shirt, "Bob, the Courier of Darkness." Giles, thinking to himself, even more puzzled, - We weren't expecting any delivers for at least awhile? -

The Courier stands before the Watcher of the present Slayer. "This IS the Hellmouth, right. I don't want to screw this delivery up like the last time, ya know Salem. MAN, that was messy, and SO many froms!"

"Yes, this is Hellmouth." The Watcher finally gets something out.

"Good." Bob, the Courier then pulls out...!... a clipboard filled with forms! "Sign these, will ya."

The Watcher reluctantly takes them with a grumbled, "Thanks."

"So this is the Hellmouth. It's change since I've been here. It's so nice and cozy."

Giles madly fills out the forms given to him, for you never reject them, the conceques, well, are nasty. Rupert's question number one:

1. How many demons do you come in contact per week?

- What kind of survey is this? - The Courier continues to talk. "Man, there's been so much work lately. I can't wait till the end of this world comes, after that I can go on vacation." The Watcher looks up form his survey into eyes that are so deep you could've gotten lost in them. He continues with the strange and disturbing survey:

53. How would you rate the terror on the Hellmouth on a scale of one to five, one being relatively non-terrifying and five being extemly terrifying?

54. How do you rate living on the Hellmouth on a scale of one to five, one being very safe and five being not very safe?

55. What demons do you prefer (check off as many as you like)
__ Vampire
__ Preying-mantis
__Boggyman
__Egg-monsters
__ Werewolves
__ Inca-mummy
__ Reptile-monster
__ Frat-boys
__ Hyena's
__ Eyghon
__ Living-dead
__ Annotied-one
__ Computer demon

56. Do you feel that demons are living up to their standers?

While glancing out a window the Courier asks "So how are you coming with that survey?"

Giles looks up, "Um..well almost done." He mummbles and continues writing madly.

Finally, Giles finishes the forms with the last question being:

Do you like the evil we provide?

- What king of twisted question is that? "do you like the evil we provide", indeed! - Giles, then hands the acursed forms over to the Courier.

"Thanks, I'll see you next time, and have a nice day!" And in another puff of smoke he was gone, leaving behind a very puzzled Watcher thinking - Well it's not everyday you come face to something that equals the Angel of death and live to tell... -

And as we look at the small town of Sunnydale before leaving, the sun is setting and all the demons in this little place all have one single thought - Hey, I just got the MOST wickedest idea to DESTORY the human race, COOL!!!!! -


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