<font face="Arial"><center><b>The Sighing Game: Part 1</b></center><br><center>by <a href="http://www.slayerfanfic.com/The%20Slayer%5C%5C%5C%5C%5C%5C%5C%5C's%20FanFic%20Archive%20-%20http:/www.slayerfanfic.com/viewuser.php?uid=1442">Rebecca Carefoot</a></center><br>Disclaimer: None of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to me, though I am rather attached to Angel, ah well. They belong to Joss Wheadon, Mutant Enemy, maybe the WB..but definitely not me. Don't sue because I have no money. <br />
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The story takes place two weeks after Angel (the episode) and it has nothing to do with any of the resulting episodes...there are some spoilers for Angel. <br />
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Part One<br />
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Buffy stared morosely out her bedroom window. The rain that streaked the windowpane mirrored her dark mood. She had to say that without a shadow of a doubt this majorly sucked. She had finally found a guy who she was in love with who actually loved her back and he even knew about the whole Slayer thing. It was too good to be true, literally. She flopped onto her bed staring at the ceiling. How could she have fallen in love with a vampire? Ok so he's a good vampire but he's a vampire none the less. <br />
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She thought about him for a second, those dark brown eyes, liquid pools of chocolaty brownness that she could just fall into and let the whole stupid world go to hell. What did the world ever do for her anyway? Oh, and that hair just a little spiky in the front. That nose so straight and well it was just a cool nose however you wanted to describe it. He always looked so super cool in those jackets he constantly wore over a white t-shirt or tank top. And the body that those t-shirts covered. She bit her lip thinking about that body. Those muscles, that broad chest, and those delicious arms. His skin was so white, she shivered. Yikes, she definitely needed to get her mind off that subject before she melted. His lips, so firm, and those kisses...she had never felt anything like that. Not in all her 16 years. It took her breath away and left her happy to be gasping. When she was with Angel the whole world just disappeared and she didn't even miss it. But she had sent him away. She groaned. <br />
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It was the right thing to do, the only thing she could do. Why had she done it? What was wrong with her? I mean just because he has one teeny tiny, ok one humungoid flaw...why should they have to be apart? The truth was she knew if she saw him again, no when she saw him again, she would lose any self-control she had left. She would throw herself into his arms and cover him with kisses. She rolled over onto her stomach; she wanted to see him so badly. It had been weeks since their meeting at the Bronze. The meeting where she had said that they could never be anything...auuggghh. What had she been thinking? All she wanted in the world was for them to be something. Why did it have to be so hard? <br />
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It was destiny she knew it, but deep within her heart she also knew it would be just as hard to be with him. Sure there would be moments of joy but when you came right down to it, he wasn't really a man. He was a monster with a demon inside him. A horrible, horrible monster.....who had saved her life more than once. And he DID have his soul back. He had been good for a century or more. That had to count for something. He hadn't killed a living human since he got his soul back, and there was so much pain inside him. A vampire couldn't feel guilt the way he did. They couldn't care for her the way he did. But he was a vampire, no getting around it. And what was she going to do if he ever accidentally revealed his true face to her mom. Being grounded for life would be an understatement. And what if his soul couldn't fight the demon anymore and he became evil again, and she had to kill him but she couldn't because she loved him too much and instead he killed her and then he became the new master. Buffy! she admonished herself, you are getting way carried away here. <br />
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The truth was she didn't really think Angel would ever hurt her or her friends or anybody who wasn't supremely evil. The truth was that even if he did she had a feeling she'd still be in love with him. The simple truth was she loved him and nothing else mattered, not really when you really thought about it. He wasn't a real vampire; he had a soul. It wasn't even that ugly when his face turned vamp, once you got used to it. It looked kind of wild and animalistic in an exciting kind of way. On other vamps it was ugly but for Angel it was more of a badge of courage. It was a reminder that he had to fight against himself constantly. That he had kept the demon at bay for a century and that he would continue to do so. Buffy felt the trust born from her love, a trust that would accept no possibility of Angel turning evil. He was strong enough to stay good. He had to be. And if she was wrong, well she was willing to take that risk. <br />
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She pulled on a sweater and climbed out her bedroom window a little amazed at what she was doing. She was marching out of her house in the middle of the night to look for his apartment. She had to tell him right now. She had to tell him that none of it mattered, nothing was real but their love. So she walked purposefully until she reached the Bronze, then she began to wander somewhat aimlessly among the apartment buildings in the "bad" side of town. She should be able to sense him if she got close enough. A lance of pain shot through her side and she knew a vampire was near, whether it was Angel...well that was another question. She spun lightly on the balls of her feet, her eyes constantly searching, her hand on the stake she had stuffed in her pocket. <br />
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"Show yourself!" she called. The evil in this vamp felt too strong to be Angel. Anxiously she peered into the darkness. A shadow crept slowly along the wall behind her. Then it stepped away from the wall and pounced. As it attacked the ridges of the vampire face stood out in the harsh light of a nearby streetlamp. Buffy heard her attacker as he leapt and spun to face him. His momentum carried him forward and she fell to the floor heavily with him on top of her. Stuggling against his vise-like grip she finally freed herself by throwing him against the wall. He was only stunned for moment and quickly charged her again, but this time she was ready. She easily sidestepped his attack and plunged the stake into his back. <br />
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Her breathing slowed as the adredaline pumping through her blood began to lessen. "Nothing like a midnight slay to keep a girl on her toes," she muttered to herself. Well at least she had managed to get her mind off Angel for a few minutes. Now to find that apartment. An hour of sneaking around every apartment near the Bronze turned up nothing. He must not be home, she thought. Sighing she began the long trek home, or maybe it just seemed long. This was not turning out to be one of her best nights. <br />
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