Goodbye Old Me: Goodbye To You, My Demons Still Live
by cheekacherrycola






I awake the next morning to find her still by my side. She is staring into my eyes. She throws the covers back and I scowl at her. She catches this and laughs as she steps out of the bed. Her back is to me, and I want to jump her – only I do not. She is slipping on her clothes.

“My parents will be home soon, and we have to be downstairs in ten minutes.”

I sigh and get up off of the bed. I pull on my underwear and turned towards Liz. She is fully dressed, and is slipping on her shoes.

“I don’t have my uniform.”

She digs through one of her draws and throws a sea green bundle at me. I sigh as I slip it on – good waitresses always carry and extra. I find my shoes in the mess of clothes on the floor, and pull them on as she watches me. We descend down into the Crashdown without saying a word. She unlocks the front doors as I turn on the oven in the back. Michael comes in a few minutes later, a small smile on his face when he sees me.

“I figured you guys wouldn’t be able to stay apart for too long.”

I laugh as I grab Liz’s hand and play with her fingers. I kiss her gently on her lips and I hear Michael’s low laughter as he passes us to go into the kitchen. I pull away from Liz and hop on top of the counter, a smile on my face. Waiting for costumers in the morning is boring – no one ever shows up.

“We should go out dancing tonight.” I suggest, swinging my legs back and forth.

“Were?”

“Gee, I don’t know Liz, maybe a dance club or something?”

“I think there are some right outside of Roswell.” Michael cuts in as he leans over the grill.

“Good.” I slid off the counter. “Then gather everyone up later, cause we’re gonna party.”


Maria is driving, Me, Liz, and Michael to the club in her Jetta. Michael mentions under his breath that he told Max, Isabel, Alex, and Tess to come. He also mentions that he left out the part about me coming along. I guess that is okay though. We pull into the dusty parking lot and all climb out. All of us notice Max’s Jeep, but we do not say a thing. I grab Liz’s hand as we walk up to the doors. It is only a three dollar cover charge – not bad for being in the middle of nowhere. When we are inside, I see Maria trying to smile at me and Liz. It must be hard for her; to know Liz so long and suddenly have her go out with a girl after going out with Max for so long. Michael takes her hand, and they go to find the others. I on the other hand have other ideas. The one thing I really miss about Sunnydale is the Bronze. I haven’t been able to let loose in so long – the Slayer inside of me is begging and beginning to tear it’s way out. When I made love to Liz last night, I was afraid that I was going to hurt her because I was going so hard. She beckoned it out of me though, and I backed off just a little.

I am moving my body to the quick hard core music, my hands above my head, my head bobbing back a forth. Liz is getting the idea, and she is beginning to let loose. She is suddenly even cuter than before in her low rise jeans and extremely short thin strap tank top. I just want to lay her down right then and there. But thinking of that makes me think of Riley, and Angel. What would Riley say if he knew that I was cheating on him, what would Angel do if he knew I had not only moved onto living beings, I have moved onto another sex. My own.

Just as I pull Liz into my arms and let my lips meet hers, I feel her body trembling next to me. I pull back and ask her what is wrong.

“All of these people…what will they think?”

I point to a couple a few people away --- two boys are dancing together. Two boys who are all over each other. “They don’t care.” I pull her body to mine, my light fingertips brushing against her sides, her laughter filling my mouth. I pull away and see Max staring at us from beyond the crowd. So he knows that we are here. Fine. I do not care, maybe Liz will, but when she turns and sees him, she just shrugs her shoulders, her eyes beginning to tear and turns her attention back to me. The gay boys have stopped kissing, and are working their way past us. I grab one of their hands and pull them into a dance. Liz needs to have some fun, get over Max, and learn that we are okay. I smile at him – he goes along with it, his friend coaxing Liz to join him. I learn my dance partners name, Dave. He has brown puppy dog hair that is in a mess on his head. His skin is deeply tan, almost brown. His eyes are a piercing blue, his lips form the perfect smile. He has two small dimples, and he looks like a California beach boy. He is from Florida and is on his way to his grandparents house in Arizona. I ask who his boyfriends name is and he says Reese. Reese has sandy blonde hair, a square jaw and lightly tanned skin much like my own. His eyes are brown, and he has no dimples, but he cute none the less. I am tiring of dancing, and pull Liz and Dave with me as I walk off the dance floor near Max and the others. Reese has followed us, almost knocking over a table on his way. I see Liz’s eyes have dried off just a little, but they are slightly red and puffy. Over the noise of the music I yell that we should all go outside and talk. I point to the door and Dave smiles. I laugh as we walk over to the darkness awaiting us and his baggy jeans almost fall off of him. He is wearing a long orange t-shirt and boxers beneath his pants. He is cute – the kind of boy I wouldn’t mind screwing and sending back home the next morning. Reese is wearing just as baggy jeans, and a plain green tee. I myself can’t help but notice him checking out my ass and chest. My leather pants may outline my curves, but I am sure that it is my low leather tank that he can’t resist.

We are walking around the brightly lit parking lot, the boys’ hands stuffed in their pockets. I am walking next to Liz and put my arm around her waist – Dave looks at me oddly and I can’t help but laugh. Liz looks away, annoyed that someone else knows about us.

“Liz…” I croon as she walks away from me, her arms wrapped around herself. I see the tears running down her face and I suddenly want to cry too. She was better, and then I had to go and mess it up. Reese smiles at me before running off after her, calling her name and grabbing her shoulders. Me and Dave walk away from them, letting them be.

“So she’s your girlfriend I take it?”

“I think so. I mean, we’ve had a lot of problems. Her ex just found out, and it’s literally killing her.”

“Isn’t that why you guys came out here? To get some alone time?”

“He’s here. Back in the club. Same with all of her other friends. They just found out two days ago – she’s really down about it and I can’t do a thing. I just want to”

“Make all of the pain go away. I know what you mean.” He puts his arm around my shoulders and I fall into his side. It oddly enough feels so right – to be in a guy’s arms. It’s different being with Liz, but somehow, I am okay with being with her. Maybe it is because I am away from home, and no one there can see me. But for her it is different – it is her life here.


We meet up with Reese and Liz about an hour later. They literally run into us, Reese is running after Liz, trying to tickle her. She is screaming at the top of her lungs for him to stop, but will not. I laugh as Liz swings herself around on Dave’s arm and cowers behind him. Dave is trying to get out of the way and not be in the middle of it, but Liz won’t let him. She is putting all of her weight on his arm, and I am glad that she is finally having a good time. While I am laughing, I guess Reese decides that it is not fair for me not to join in the games. He attacks me, and his fingers are tickling my underarms and belly. I squeal in laughter like a little kid who is being chased by one of their foolish and playful parents. Dave has turned on Liz, and I realize that we must all look like a bunch of little kids playing in the dusty parking lot at midnight.

Max and the others have wandered outside, probably wondering where me and Liz were, wondering who we left with. They have come out at the wrong time. Reese has just grabbed Liz up in his arms, they are wrapped tightly around her waist. He bends backwards, Liz’s feet kicking out. She is on her back, on his bent stomach, laughing as he still tries to tickle her. I try to run over and help her, but Dave catches me and tears come to my eyes as he tickles my stomach. Who knew you could feel so safe and have so much fun with people you just met? I see Max then, and my body tenses. I smack at Dave to stop. Reese has noticed this too, and drops Liz onto her feet.

“Wha…?” Liz has started before she turns and sees Max and the others. “Oh.” She pulls down her shirt as much as she can to cover up her darkly tanned belly. I straighten myself out as well, the guys just stand, balancing their weight out on their feet.

Reese raises his hands and gives a nod to our friends and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Michael is the one to answer, which surprises me. He looks like the tough kind of guy who would have his fist meet Reese’s just for kicks. Behind his stern face, which I know is just show for Max’s sake, I can tell that he is trying not to smile, not let his happiness for Liz and me show. He really isn’t a bad guy underneath all of his no feeling’s act.

“We just came out to tell you guys that we better get going, it’s getting late and the Parkers should be back around now too.” Maria said, her face twisting.

“Right.” Is all I can say, but I can’t move. I don’t want to. Beneath it all, I am really having doubts about me and Liz now. After spending time with Dave, I really think that I want the guys – and I almost forgot about Liz with him. I wonder if she felt the same way with Reese. I really want to ask her, but I don’t want to risk it. I’ve put her through enough already. And then I do something stupid – something I really never should have done now that I think about it. “Dave, are you guys going to be passing through Roswell?”

“Sometime tomorrow or the day after. We may stick around her for a little – I like the club.” He answers.

“Mind if I stay and pay money for gas?” I do not know why I do this, but I can see Liz’s surprised face, and all of the others.

Reese and Dave just look at each other and shrug. “Whatever.” Is all he says.

“Cool.” Liz walks up to me, her eyes questioning. I whisper to her, making up a quick and easy lie. “I just want you to be able to deal with your friends – it’ll be easier for you if I’m not around.”

“Oh. Okay. If you’re sure.”

“Only if you don’t mind.”

“Nope.”

“Good. Then I guess I’ll stay.”


After a few quick goodbyes, and kiss on the cheek between Liz and me, all of the Roswelians pull away in Max’s green Jeep and Maria’s red Jetta.

I am left standing in the parking lot with Reese and Dave. Both are smarter than they look.

“You aren’t going back to Roswell, are you?” Dave asks me.

I just turn to him, and bit my lip. “I’ve been debating it ever since I got here.”

“I figured. You never once mentioned her when we were walking except right after she left.”

“I had nothing to say.”

“You didn’t want to say anything, the truth is you planned on leaving the moment you said that you suggested coming out to party.” He was smart – too smart. He pulled a bag out from behind his back and I almost chocked on the hot thick desert air. It was the backpack that I brought with, the one that when we got out of the Jetta, I tossed into the dried out dead bushes. “I saw you looking at the bush when we came outside – I saw the bag and figured it was yours. When you guys were messing around I went and picked it up. It’s got all of your clothes and stuff inside of it.”

“I do love her – but she…I can’t give her what she needs. She’s still not over Max, she never will be. He’s her soul mate, her destiny, and sooner or later she’ll realize it.”

“She won’t understand why you didn’t come back to her.”

“She won’t have to.” I say as a few tears fall down my face. “All she needs to know is that I love her. I left a note.”

“To say that – to tell her that it all just wasn’t for fun?” Reese suddenly asks, his voice sad, not harsh as I would have expected by my actions.

“Yes.”

“So…” Dave starts, “where are you really headed?”

“California.”

“What’s there?”

“My demons.”


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