Amnesia: 1
by SpikeandAngelsgurl
Title- Amnesia
Disclaimer-Don't own em
Season-2 Summary-Buffy's ready to kill Angel after he murders Ms.Calendar and Cordelia but something unexpected happens
Her Angel was gone. She had to keep remembering that. He was dead, and the demon in possession of his body was killing her friends. He had murdered Ms.Calendar, snapping her neck for no apparent reason other than to bring Giles pain. And Cordelia. He had made Cordy like him, and Xander had been the one to stake her, and killing his first love had drug him into a dark depression that he was just now beginning to snap out of thanks to Buffy having kicked his ass for trying to kill himself. Angel had turned her world upside down and inside out, and now he would die before he took anymore of her loved ones lives.
Willow sat on her bed and stroked Xander's hair. He had shown up at her sliding glass door in tears, and as usual she could do nothing but be there for him and try to calm him. "It'll be okay Xand. Buffy will kill Angel and our lives will go back to normal, or as normal as they can be with having a Vampire Slayer as our bestfriend." she whispered. "No they won’t Will. Buffy can kill Angel and the rest of the vampires in Sunnydale or even the world but our lives will never go back to normal, not without Cordelia." Willow felt her own tears begin to stream down her beautiful face. She had come to love Cordelia as a sister, and Cordy's death had hurt her too. She had known the girl since she was 3, even if they had only just become friends. "I know Xander, I know, but we gotta be strong for Buffy. She won't be able to kill him without our support, she loved him more than anything, just like you loved Cordy, and I love Oz." Willow said soothingly. "Yeah, whatever." Xander said standing up. "I'm gonna head home. I'll see you at school tomorrow." He walked out her door without a backward glance. Willow just laid her head on her pillow and sobbed.
Buffy walked through the graveyard and stopped by a crypt sensing a presence she knew only too well. "Angelus...I know you're out there...just show yourself...it's way too late to be hiding." Buffy called out. Angel smirked, stepping out of the shadows. "Hey babe...do you wanna play?" He said sexily. Buffy groaned. "Ugh...I'd rather die than look at your pathetic face." Angel shrugged, "Well, you know, you're wish is my command." He throws a punch at her face but she easily blocks it. She sweep kicks him, and he hits the ground, *(that was way too easy)* she thinks. Angel jumps back up quickly though, and they begin to fight more seriously, kicks and punches flying in every direction. Angel was losing though, and he knew that if he didn't get her down soon she would kill him. He throws a kick that hits her just under the chin, and sends her flying. Her head hits the stone door of a crypt and she passes out. He runs over to her and sees the blood flowing out of her head. He freaks. He may be an evil demon from hell, but no matter how hard he tried not to, he couldn't stop loving her, the irony of which was not lost on him. So he gathers the defenseless slayer in his arms and runs as fast as he can to the hospital.
"What the hell?" Buffy asked when she woke up and saw the group of people standing around her. "Who the hell are all of you?" she asked. She saw everyone in the groups eyes widen and the old man in the tweed suit said "Oh dear." with a familiar sounding accent. *(He must be British)* she thought. "What do you mean who are you? Don't you know us Buffy?" and older woman with curly, shoulder length light brown hair asked. *(So that's my name,)* Buffy thought, *(weird.)* "Not only do I not know you people, I don't even know who I am so can somebody please fill me in here?" she asked. The cute red headed girl holding her hand answered, "As soon as we get you out of here we'll tell you the whole story." She turned to the man in tweed, "Giles, were gonna have to tell her mom." He nodded and they promptly got Buffy out of the hospital.
Once they settled down in Buffy's living room, her mom started. "Your name is Buffy Anne Summers. You're seventeen years old, and I'm your mother Joyce. You grew up in LA, but when me and your father Hank got divorced we moved here, to Sunnydale, where I opened an art gallery. The other people here are you're closest friends." She finished and the red head started talking. "My name is Willow Rosenberg. You met me on your first day at Sunnydale High, and we've been best friends since you saved my life and I found out you're deepest secret, but Giles will explain all that. This is my boyfriend Oz, you guys don't really know each other that well but you will someday." Willow finished and the tall guy with short brown hair went next. "My names Xander Harris. We met on you're first day too, when you dropped your purse and I helped you pick all your stuff up. I was the first to find out you're secret, and we've been best friends ever since the day I helped you get away from the vamps in the sewers." Buffy nodded, *(Vamps,)* she thought, *(What the hell is he talking about?)* Giles looked at her, "It's my turn then. My name is Rupert Giles, but you've always called me Giles. I'm not only you're school librarian, but I'm also you're watcher." Buffy raised an eyebrow. "You're the slayer. The one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to kill the vampires and other assorted demon spawn from the hellmouth." Giles had explained it all to Joyce on the drive to the house, and she had decided to believe it until it was proven otherwise. It would, after all, explain why he was always hanging around with a bunch of teenagers. "I'll have to give you a brief rundown on you're history as the slayer so you'll be prepared.” he said, almost as an after thought. "In other words get comfortable, cause the G-Mans version of brief could take a while." Xander broke in with some needed comic relief, though he didn't really feel like being funny right at the moment.
Giles glared at him. "I told you never to call me that." he said sternly. Xander smiled sheepishly, "Sorry." *(He's cute)* Buffy thought absently. "Well hurry up then." she said, feeling sleepy. "You're first watcher was named Merrick. He was killed by the first vampire master you faced, Lothos, who was killed when you burned down the school gym in LA. When you moved here you faced another master vampire, aptly called The Master, whom you killed only after being killed yourself. Xander brought you back with CPR. Earlier this year we discovered that due to your death, another slayer, Kendra, was called, so now there are two slayers. She is stationed in Jamaica. Also earlier this year, you fell in love with a vampire with a soul called Angel. When you two made love on your birthday he lost his soul and reverted to his evil alter ego Angelus. He has reunited with his sirelings Drusilla and Spike." Giles expression got grave. "He's already killed two of our friends, Jenny Calendar and Cordelia Chase." Buffy who had been staring at Xander saw a brief expression of grief on his face at Cordelias name, and she had a glimpse of a beautiful smiling girl, with shiny brown hair holding his hand and looking at him adoringly. Buffy, feeling as if her heart were breaking went over to Xander and took his hand. "She was beautiful, and she loved you very much." she whispered softly. He looked at her surprised. "How did you?" he asked. "It was just a glimpse, but the way she looked at you in it was the look of a girl head over heels in love." Buffy answered. Xander grasped her hand tightly. "Thank you." he said, a glimmer of tears whispering behind his eyes. "No problem." Buffy said as she stood up. She put a hand to her head as she felt a dizzy spell hit her and was unconscious again long before she hit the ground.

Xander carried Buffy up the stairs and laid her gently on her bed. Then he sat beside her and watched the different emotions play across her face as she slept. Fear, anger, joy, love, every emotion he had ever heard of and he wondered what she dreamed of. Buffy's life over the last year or so flashed before her eyes. Her first day of school, dropping her purse and Xander stopping to help pick her belongings up. "Can I have you?" he asked. She smiled and a new memory flashed, Angel throwing a jewelers box at her. "Maybe I don’t want a friend." she called out, "I didn't say I was yours." he replied. And then their first kiss, the night he helped her with those warrior vamps. Finding our he was a vampire. The pain of thinking she'd have to kill him, the first man she'd ever loved, and the joy of discovering he had a soul, that he was different, good. And then the night of her seventeenth birthday. Dru's plan to resurrect the Judge. Angel telling her he was leaving for god only knew how long. Him placing the claddagh ring on her finger, heart pointing towards her, showing that she belonged to him. "I love you, I try not to but I can't stop." Making love with him, nearly killing him at the mall. Buffy cried. When she woke, she remembered none of it.
"What are you doing here?" she asked Xander when she woke. "Protecting you." he answered with a twisted half smile, as if laughing at the irony of her needing him to protect her after all the times she'd saved his life. "Where is everyone else?" she asked. "They went home, I stayed. Are you up to going to school today, please say no." he smiled fully and Buffy felt her heart flutter. "What time is it?" she asked. "A little after 7. We still have an hour and a half before it starts." he answered. "Well sorry to disappoint but I think I'll go then. I feel tons better." Xander looked at her pleadingly and she laughed, "Sorry."
As she looked through the clothes in her closet he asked, "Have you remembered anything yet?" She picked out a pair of yellow capris and a white tank with a duck on the front, "Not really. Some vague images of people here and there but nothing really concrete." she answered. Buffy leaned over him to pick some jewelry up off her nightstand. She held up a plain cross necklace and a sliver ring that showed two hands holding a heart wearing a crown. "Why do I feel like these should be locked in a box somewhere?" she asked. Xander saw what she was holding and his gaze hardened. "Because Angel gave them to you." he replied. "Oh." Buffy said, before replacing them. She finished picking out accessories and makeup, then headed for the bathroom. "I'll be ready in a little while, meet me downstairs." she called out before shutting the bathroom door.
After a thorough examination Giles had deemed Buffy well enough to train, and though she had no memories of the events and people in her life, she hadn't forgotten anything Giles had taught her while training. She did a few back flips then kicked away the knives Giles threw at her. When they had finished with the dodging exercises they moved on to crossbow and sword training, which was what they were doing when Xander walked into the library, shirt off and hair still wet from his post-gym class shower. Buffy's breath caught at the sight and her gaze seemed locked on his well-muscled chest. Xander didn't even seem to notice. "Ready to go?" he asked. Buffy grabbed her backpack. "Yeah, where's Willow?" she asked. "Outside with Oz." Xander answered. "Cool. Let's go." She lopped her arm through his and they sailed through the libraries doors. Giles watched on with a look of concern.
Joyce Summers had left town on an art buying tour through California that had been scheduled months in advance and would have been a bitch to get out of. She trusted Xander, Willow, Giles and even Oz to take good care of Buffy. She knew that Buffy could defend herself against the vampires, but she wasn't so sure her daughter was safe from herself. Xander was staying with her tonight. Joyce wasn't sure she liked the idea. She'd seen how the new Buffy looked at the young man, but thankfully Xander seemed oblivious. Anyway, she knew she could trust him to stop Buffy from doing anything she might regret later. Xander kept his back turned as Buffy changed into a long T-shirt and climbed into bed. She gave the okay and Xander turned around. His breath caught. She looked so beautiful and innocent sitting there, her blond hair gleaming gold against her shoulder in the candlelight. The lamp’s light had proven too bright and begun to give her a headache, so he had found all the candles he could and put them all in Buffys room. Something inside Buffy broke as she watched him look at her. She held out her hands and almost reverently Xander laced his fingers with hers. Buffy tilted her head up and Xander lowered his, kissing her gently at first, but with more passion as she began to respond. And through the window Angelus watched as they made love, his fury growing overwhelmingly with each kiss, caress and stroke. Finally with an angry growl he ran off into the night, plotting his revenge.
"So this is how were gonna do it." Angelus began, "I left a little note for Buffy on her front door. She'll meet me in the cemetery, her pride will prevent her from doing anything less, and her idiotic friends and watcher will follow. While I distract the Slayer Dru'll knock out and grab Red and Xander. Spike, you'll get the wolf and Giles. Don't look at me like that. I know you can walk, I saw you out hunting last night, there isn't another vampire in this state with hair that white." At this Drusilla whipped her head around to look at Spike, angry and shocked. "Sorry luv." was the only explanation he offered. "Alright then." Angelus ignored them, "Tonight we strike." Spike raised a hand. "What is it William?" Angel asked witheringly. "Calm down mate," he began, Angel glared, "Getting a little over zealous don't you think. Don't get me wrong. I think it's bloody great you've finally decided to stop toying with that blond bint. I just wanted to know what you plan on doing with her?" Spike asked. Angelus grinned wickedly, "Nothing at first. She'll come after us, planning on rescuing her friends. After she watches them die I'll make her one of us." Spike and Drusilla stared after him in shock as he left the room. "Bloody Hell. He's even more off his rocker than you luv." Spike muttered.
"Hello lover." Angel said as Buffy approached him. "Angel." she said quietly, and the vampire gave her a questioning look. This girl seemed different than the Buffy he knew. "What, no hug?" he asked. She gave him a withering look and got into a fighting stance. "I don't really feel like or have time for games so can we just get this over with? I gotta date.” she said perkily. Angel smirked, "That's too bad." he said before rushing towards her. She dodged his fist then spun around to kick him in the face, he grabbed her leg, but she used him as leverage to kick him with the other one and get free. Angel looked around wildly and saw Spike and Drusilla dragging off the unconscious bodies of Buffy's friends. He smirked at the slayer. "Sorry babe, I got places to be, people to torture and kill." he ran off and Buffy watched him, perplexed. Spinning around she looked for her friends but they were nowhere to be found. It suddenly hit her, what Angel had meant, why he had run off so quickly. *(Oh God!)* She thought as she sank to the ground, *(What have I done?)*

Buffy pulls the extra key to Giles apartment out of her purse and unlocks his door. "Weapons, weapons, now where would a middle-aged man keep is weapons?" she mutters to herself as she searches for his weapons chest. "Ah-hah!" she exclaims, as she finds and opens it. Giles had all the best weapons. Crossbows, swords, daggers, and many nicely pointed stakes. She pulls out a particularly deadly looking one, and image flashes into her head. She had come to Giles' upset, and scared, only to find him and most of his weapons gone, this stake had been all that was left. She found him trying to kill some vampire, she wasn't sure which it was because its image was a blur, but she knew Giles had nearly died. They had gotten outside of the burning building and she had punched, tearfully telling him that she couldn't do it without him. Buffy let a tear fall as she tucked the stake into the sleeves of her jacket. Everything she had ever know was gone, all she knew now was that if anyone of her friends had so much as a single hair out of place Angelus would die slowly.
"Now now Red, don't cry. I promise you'll die quick. Hell I might even turn ya, Buffy's gonna want her bestfriend around. Him on the other hand..." Angelus turned to Xander, "Well that's a whole different story." Xander already had one eye totally swollen shut, and rows of cuts from Dru's nails across his chest. "What's so special about me?" Xander asked slowly. It hurt to talk. Angelus grinned coldly. "You tried to take what was mine." he backhanded Xander, "You had sex with my girl." He hit Xander again, harder, but his groan of pain, and Willow and Giles' gasps of shock were drowned out by the sound of Drusilla’s scream as a crossbow bolt shot out and struck her in the chest, turning her to dust. "I belong to nobody." Buffy called out angrily.
Spike screamed and rushed at her but she dodged him and slammed a stake in his heart, *(That was easier than I thought, maybe he really is nothing without the crazy chick.)* Buffy thought as she turned towards Angel. "Finally. We get some privacy." she grinned and threw a knife at Angels, but it missed him and sailed right over his head. Cutting down Giles' ropes just as she'd intended it to. "You're off your game lover." Angel grinned. Buffy just smirked and shrugged as Giles helped first Willow, Oz and then Xander down. She got into a fighting stance as her friends ran for their lives.
"Your hurt the people I love, now you die." she said. "You loved me once." Angelus stated as he walked towards her. Buffy kicked him in the face, "That was then." she punched him, "This is now." Angel punched her in the face, and she staggered back, then retaliated with a kick to his gut. He grabbed her in pulled her into his arms, he wasn't in the mood to play games, he bent down to bite her and she elbowed him in the ribs. Neither was she. He released her and she pulled out a stake, "Come on lover, this ends now." Angel growled and grabbed her by the arms, kneeing her in the gut. She doubled over then sweep kicked him. He jumped right back up, but didn't dodge her stake in time. It connected with his heart and Angelus disappeared into a cloud of dust.
Buffy's eyes widened, and the tears started to fall as all her memories came rushing back, the ones of Angel most vivid. How jealous he had acted of Xander after she did the sexy dance with him at the Bronze. Spending more time kissing in the graveyard then hunting for the Gorch brothers. Kissing over her window seal after she got grounded. Caressing his face, and the look of pure love he had given her after she'd saved him, when Spike and Dru'd tried to kill him. Patrolling with him. Her seventeenth birthday, him telling her he loved her, giving the the claddagh ring, making love with him. Xander came over and held out a hand. She looked up at him, her friend who was no longer just her friend but her lover, and so much more. A feeling of guilt washed over her and she glared at him. "Get. Away. From. Me." she didn't want to hurt him, but she didn't deserve his love. She got up and ran out of the mansion.
She had trashed her room, grabbing everything that held a memory of Angel and tossing it into a box. Except the claddagh ring, and the cross she wore around her neck. Now she had her favorite Sarah Mclachlan CD on, with the song Angel on repeat. Her tears came steadily now; she couldn't seem to make them stop. Suddenly a glowing light filled her room, and Angel stood before her. Her breath caught and her heart swelled up at the sight of the beautiful man she had loved too much. He sat on her bed. "How?" she asked. "A gift. The Powers That Be decided you and Xander deserved one. He's getting a visit of his own from Cordelia right now." Buffy didn't say anything, just continued to cry. It wasn't right of her and Xander, to find solace with each other so soon after they'd had their soul mates ripped away from them. "Don't cry my love." Angel said, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. "How can I stop. I killed you." she gasped out, catching his hand, and staring at him earnestly. "No. You didn't. You honored me by killing Angelus. Now I'm free to wait for you until we can be together again." he kissed her softly, and her tears started to subside. He still loved her, after all she'd done he still loved her. "Promise me something?" he asked. "Anything?" she replied. "Promise me you won’t blame yourself. That you'll live you're life as fully as you can until we can be together again." he whispered softly. Buffy started crying again. "How can I? If everything just gets stripped away then I don't see the point." she answered. "The point is to live. To love again." he answered her. Buffy hugged him tightly, her tears streaming, blending with his own. "How am I supposed to love again? I loved you more than I will ever love anything in this life." He kissed her softly, "I know. And no love is exactly the same, you can't expect the love you and Xander will have for each other to be the same kind of love that you each had with Cordelia and me. It wouldn't be fair to any of us." he kissed her before she could say anything, and she kissed him back.
He gently nudged her against her pillows. Clothes were removed as if they were never there and they made love until sunlight began to stream through her windows. "I love you." Angel cried, "I love you too." Buffy cried back, as the love of her life disappeared into a fine mist. Buffy would have been convinced it had all been a dream if not for the Claddagh ring left behind. The Slayer clutched the ring that was too big for her own tiny finger, and sobbed.

*Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason o feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction of beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear...*-"Angel"-Sarah Mclachlan


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