Quiz: Will he break your heart?: Quiz: Will he break your heart?
by Pop Superstar
I don't own anything except the story. Feedback is greatly appreciated!
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“I’m absolutely addicted to these things. I need to join a support group or something.” Buffy said as she idly flipped through one of the dozens of girly magazines on her bed. “Some people drink or get high. I read fashion magazines. It’s getting kind of serious. I think I’ve become dependent on them.”
“Sure Buffy,” Willow said.
“You know, we really should be studying, with that big Latin test tomorrow and all. Well, actually, you would be studying. I’d be *pretending* to study.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Hey Willow, whatcha reading?” Buffy asked noticing her bestfriend’s preoccupation.
“I’m taking this quiz,” she replied.
Buffy leaned over her friend’s shoulder to look at the quiz. “Will he break your heart? It’s Oz. Isn’t it obvious what the answer’s gonna be? Of course he’ll break your heart! I can see Oz running off at any moment now with some ho he met at the circus.” Buffy said matter-of-factly.
“Really? Oh, you’re being sarcastic! It’s still nice to have some reinforcement,” Willow replied, a little embarrassed.
“Don’t worry, you crazy kids are going to be together forever. You’re like, Ross and Rachel.”
“But those two have broken up so many times,” Willow pointed out.
“True. But, you know they so belong together. If you and Oz ever broke up, my whole world would come crashing down!”
“Don’t worry. I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon,” Willow said, giving her friend a reassuring pat. “Why don’t you take the quiz?”
“Okay. Only problem, who is ‘he’ going to be? My love-life right now is so pathetically non-existent. I think guys are scared of me, not that they don’t have good reasons to be scared,” Buffy said frowning.
“You’ve got plenty of guys after you, they’re um, just too shy to tell you. I’m sure we can think of someone to fill in for the ‘he’ part. Okay...um...how ‘bout Giles?”
Buffy and Willow both shuddered at the thought. “Um, no! Eeew, he’s like, the same age as my dad! Plus, he’s Giles!” Buffy exclaimed, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
“Okay, scratch that...Xander?” Willow asked.
“Nah, it’d be too weird, he’s like a brother to me.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Um, Angel?”
“I don’t even need to take the quiz to know the answer!” Buffy said, burying her head in her pillow dramatically.
“Don’t worry, we’ll think of someone! Uh...how ‘bout, um...Spike!” Buffy lifted her head and her frown was replaced by a look of confusion. “Are you sure Spike? The same Spike that kidnapped you and Xander and has tried to kill us countless times? Bleached blond Billy Idol Wannabe Spike? That Spike?!”
“Well, he hasn’t tried to kill us for like, months now...and, and, he’s kind of good now, in that I’m-not-trying-to-kill-you sort of way. And he’s been helping us, fight evil lately. So that’s a definite plus. Did I mention, he hasn’t tried to kill us recently?”
“Several times Will...Well, okay. It’s just a quiz, it doesn’t mean anything.” Buffy said, sitting up.
“Okay, Does his rep scream ‘total player’? Has he had a dozen girlfriends this year?” Willow read.
“Hardly, he’s had *one* girlfriend for nearly a century!”
“Are he and his ex still friends, or at least on good terms?
“I have a feeling, it was a messy breakup. You should know,” Buffy said raising her eyebrows at Willow.
“Is he embarrassed to show affection when other people are around?”
“I doubt it, he seems like the type that would enjoy an audience. Not that I ever think about what sort of thing Spike would enjoy in that way,” she added quickly. Willow smiled to herself and continued reading. “Is he the type to hold grudges or plot revenge?”
“Definitely.”
“Have you met his folks?”
“That would be Angel right? So yes I have. I used to*date* his dad.”
“When you two get in a fight, are you usually more willing to compromise than he is?”
“Not at all. We are pretty much tied in the stubbornness department.”
“Does he treat you like an equal?”
“...Well, I guess yeah.” Buffy replied.
“Let’s see...you two are...’hearts in heaven’!” Willow said, surprised.
“That’s not right! Check it again!” Buffy exclaimed.
Willow retabulated Buffy’s score, and came up with the same answer.
“That’s really weird,” Buffy said, furrowing her brow in confusion.
“What’s so weird about it? I think you two would make a cute couple.” Willow replied.
“Are you sure you haven’t been sniffing those herbs you use in your spells or something?” Buffy asked cocking an eyebrow at her bestfriend.
“No, I’m serious. Like they say, opposites attract, and all that. So what if you’re a slayer, and he’s a vampire. It’s like...Romeo and Juliet!”
“And look how well that turned out.” Buffy said dryly.
“Okay, bad example.”
“Plus, I already tried the vampire thing. Remember? That so did not work out.”
“Yeah, but that’s just because you two would eventually want to and could never, well, um y’know. You wouldn’t have that problem with Spike, with him being all soul-less and curse-free,” Willow said blushing. “You don’t think he’s a little cute?”
“No! Well...maybe a little cute in the squint-your-eyes-real-hard sort of way. Well...that accent is kind of sexy,” Buffy admitted. “But that’s just ‘cause it reminds me of Christian Bale! It would never happen!”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, I’m not his type! He likes his women insane. And...he doesn’t even like me! He’s only been helping us ‘cause he has to.”
“That’s not true! He does like you! I’ve seen him staring at you when you weren’t looking.”
“And, the Billy Idol look is so late eighties! Even though it kind of works on him, it’s so....He was staring at me? Really?” Buffy asked, surprised. “In what way?”
“In the way that you stare at someone when you have a big crush on them,” Willow said with a little smile.
“Willow!” Buffy said punching her bestfriend playfullyon the arm.” Why didn’t you tell me this before?!”
“I didn’t know how you would react. So, what do you think?” Willow asked.
“I don’t know. This is so confusing. Spike having warm-fuzzy feelings for me? This is just too weird.”
“What are you going to do, now that you know? Do you like him?” Willow inquired.
“Do? I am not going to *do* anything! And I definitely do *not* like him! He’s Spike! I have never thought of him as potential boyfriend material, and I am not going to start now!” Buffy cried.
“Okay, okay! I get it! I just thought, it would have been so cute! The two of you touching up each other’s roots together, since you’re both bottle blondes! “Willow answered giggling. Buffy responded by throwing a pillow at the redhead.
“You know, you really need to work on your anger management. You’re getting kind of violent.” Willow said after she’d finally recovered from her giggling fit. “Seriously though, you don’t think there is a chance at all the too of you could get together? Not even a teeny tiny chance?”
“Not at all. There is no possible way that he and I will ever go out!” Buffy exclaimed. “Spike! What the hell are you doing here?!”
“Hello to you too Slayer! Hey Red.” He greeted them from his place in the window sill.
“Hi Spike,” Willow said, suddenly worried about how much of the conversation he’d heard.
“So, are you going to invite me in?” he asked in his usual cocky manner.
“No. What do you want Spike?” Buffy asked visibly pissed off. She too was worried he’d overheard them talking about him.
“So, who’s this guy that you couldn’t possibly go out with?” he inquired.
“Nobody. It’s none of your business. What do you want?” Buffy snapped.
“I just came by to tell you to give this to your watcher,” he said giving her a book.
“Why couldn’t you just give it to him yourself?”
“I wanted to see you pet,” he said sarcastically. “Your place was closer, and I didn’t bloody well feel like driving all the way across town. Well, I’ll be going now.” He turned to leave, but stopped. “Don’t I get a goodnight kiss?” he asked turning his cheek.
He got a punch in the face instead. He just smiled and jumped out the window. “Sweet dreams!!!” he yelled from the ground.
Buffy turned around, furious. “God, he is so...obnoxious!”
Willow just smiled. “You like him!” she giggled.
“You are *so* dead!” Buffy yelled and started chasing Willow around the room with a pillow. Willow dodged Buffy’s blows, all the while both girls were giggling hysterically. The redhead finally ran into her own room and locked the door.
“You’ll have to come out sooner or later!” Buffy yelled from the other side of the door. She walked back to her own room. On a whim, she peeked out the window to see if Spike was still around. She finally spotted him leaning against his car smoking. She smiled in spite of herself.
“He does have a *great* lean,” she thought to herself.
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