Larry's Story: Larry's Story
by Pioneer Grrrl
I own nothing BTVS, it's all the property of Mr. Joss Whedon. I only own my ideas.

Special thanks goes out to my friends who encouraged me to write this story, Being straight, I couldn't have written ths story otherwise.

Seeing as how the offical story line has not been verifed, this is only my version of things. Please give me credit if you wnat to use it in your fanfic.



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Larry is writing down his thoughts.

Well, it’s been months since I came out, and I feel so much better about myself. It was horrible to walk around school, afraid of everybody being able to “tell”---although part of me believes that some can tell now .(yes, I am still paranoid) Even though I’m the last suspected, I’m still afraid to find out what people might do to me if they knew I was gay. I still feel better, and I'm working on coming out to my parents---I’m still not sure how they would take it . We’ve never reply sat down and discussed sociopolitcal issues, so I just don’t know


My “protective coloring” can’t block the pain I feel upon hearing “HEY FAG!!” Directed at the supposedly “obvious” types, it pierces my heart too! I try not to appear suscpious, but it’s hard to ignore who said it.( and to think I once considered them my friends.) One of the these days, I'm scared that I will be detected, wanting to see who said it. I know people make jokes about gays in the locker room, but I’m the one who ends up terrified. I know high school isn’t the most conductive arena for GLBT issues.There’s a whole lot of hysteria surrounding “different people.”Some of my fellow teammates are so focused on “proving” themselves, they come off as (and some are) macho assholes. I find it hard to believe masculinity comes from dominating women. (how pathetic!!)

And that’s another issue I need to work on. I’m just so ashamed of how I behaved toward my female classmates. Although my inner conscious begged me to avoid doing something I would later regret, I ignored it---sometimes convinced that I could be fooled into thinking that I was a “real man.Knowing it was a bunch of hooey, I neverless bought into it. I saw it in their eyes, the condescending looks towards “diffrent men”, and it scared me. (I wasn't as brave as I made myself out to be!!) so I acted like a jerk. (hangs head in shame) Fear makes you do the revolting.

I would like it if Buffy decided to forgive me, but I doubt that it would happen. I probably shouldn’t have gone along, but I was so desperate to fit in.In order to “prove” my masculinity, I engaged. in sexist behavior, and Buffy called me on it When she first came into school, I remember thinking People can say what they want about her, she’s NOT a manhater , she just contradicts gender role sterotypes. I’m not sure what happened in LA, but I am glad she’s here--she seems to be the only one physically capable of stopping all of the freak-show crap that occurs here. There’s entirely too much to write it off


Ditto for her boyfriend, although I’ve heard talk that he’s actually a centuries old vampire (far be it for me to dictate who’s “proper” for others to date)He looks waaay too young to be over 30. I’ve seen him at the Bronze before, and I cannot believe it, plastic surgery is not that good!! There are rumors circulating that Buffy killed him..something about desoulment, resoulment and a whole bunch of other hocus pocus stuff. In spite of this, (or perhaps because of it) they seemed to be the perfect couple. He seemed to be pretty open minded too, although I don’t think Buffy would have it any other way.

I also like Oz, he seems to march to the beat of a different drummer. Nailpoislh is not my thing, but he doesn’t give a shit what others think about him----and I reply envy that. Of course it’s easier for him to pull it off, people expect alternative rockers to do shocking things. Clad in Tommy Hilfiger, I hardly fit the image of a “queer”, even though we are everywhere. I’ve also heard that he is of the fanged variety, although I don’t reply think that Willow is a “werewolf hunter”.....then again, Sunndyale does runs circles around Melrose Place

Still, anything’s better than Cordeila- (I’ll never figure out why men go gaga over her??) Yeah I can understand wanting to dress up, but she takes it to ridiculous heights, there should be more to life than clothes. Even if it didn’t work out with Buffy (whom I would’ve picked), Xander should be able to do much better. Although she says it’s an act, her valley girl persona doesn’t seem temporary---it seems annoying. Even though its popular stereotype, I don’t find myself attracted to “feminine) men.




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