Space is needed: 2
by Spikes Queen
Buffy woke late the next morning and smiled at Spike who was awake as well. “What time is it?” She asked.

“Around noon,” Spike said, stroking her hair.

“I slept late,” she said. “We were supposed to go home last night.”

“I didn’t have the heart to wake you,” Spike said, softly. “You’re wore out and I wanted you to sleep.”

“I should go home to Dawn,’ she said, softly. “But I don’t want to.”

“Do you feel better now that you’ve spoken to you’re friends?” She asked.

“I feel like a huge weight has been lifted but it still hurts,” she said. “And there’s not much that makes me want to be here.”

“Do I make you want to be here?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, if I’m with you,” Buffy said, looking at him. “If I’m not with you, I don’t want to.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Spike said. “I wish I could take away your pain but I cant unless you tell me how.”

“I don’t know how,” Buffy said, softly.

Spike sat up and looked down at her. “Buffy, I love you,” he said, softly. “You know I do. I was devastated when you died and I didn’t know what to do without you but I wasn’t the one who pulled you out of heaven. I’ve very happy that you’re here but I don’t know how to make your pain stop.”

Tears were in Buffy’s eyes and she sat up next to him. “Spike, I’m not blaming you for what happened,” she whispered. “I know you were upset that I died and you don’t wanna lose me again but I don’t know what to say.”

“I want to make you feel better,” Spike said, looking at her. “I just don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. I’m hurting because you’re in pain but I’m happy that you’re here.”

“I’m not happy,” Buffy said. “When I died, I didn’t have slayer responsibilities or any thing like that. I have them again.”

“Isn’t here another one?” Spike asked.

“Another what?” Buffy asked, wiping her tears.

“Slayer,” Spike said.

“Yeah but she’s in jail for murder and lots of other things,” Buffy said. “She’s cause more problems then we already have and she always tries to take over my life.”

“So I noticed,” Spike muttered.

“Whaddaya mean?” Buffy asked.

“Never mind,” Spike said. “The point is, you cant keep doing this to yourself. Its not good for you so please talk to your friends and set everything straight.”

“I’m tired of hearing apologies,” Buffy said. “I don’t want their pity.”

“So then tell them that you need space for a while,” Spike said, softly. “It’s about what you want not what they want.”

“I just want to be with you and Dawn,” she said, looking at him. “And have a semi-anti-depressing life.”

“And I can give that to you if you let me,” he said. “I can give you anything you want if you just open up to me.”

“You know how hard that is for me,” Buffy said. “After everything that I’ve been through for my whole life. But I’m really trying.”

“I know you are,” Spike said, pushing her hair back. “I just don’t want to stop trying.”

Buffy looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “It’s hard,” she whispered.

Spike frowned and pulled her into his arms. “I know it is,” he said, soothingly. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

The next day, Buffy called everyone to her house and Spike was there by her side.

“Buffy, what’s this about?” Xander asked. “Cuz you already told us about being in heaven. And why does Spike have to be here?”

“Spike is my boyfriend,” Buffy said, crossing her arms. “And I don’t want to hear a peep from anyone about it.”

Xander snapped his mouth shut and tired not to barf when Spike moved closer to Buffy.

“I wanted to talk to you guys about what happened to me,” Buffy said. “About how I’ve felt. You ripped me out of heaven. And do you have any idea to be peaceful and happy then all of sudden be in a coffin and unable to breathe? None of you know what that’s like.”

“We didn’t know,” Xander said.

“I know that Xander!” Buffy flared, then she looked at Willow. “But you didn’t bother to find out did you? You assumed I was in hell because you couldn’t accept the fact that I wasn’t coming back.”

“Buffy, we love you,” Willow said, going toward her. “We thought you were being tortured.”

Buffy flinched away from her. “Why would I be?” She asked. “I wasn’t a bad person.”

“I know you weren’t,” Willow said.

“And yet you still thought I deserved an eternity of torment,” Buffy said. “That is not okay, Willow.”

“I’m sorry,” Willow said.

“Don’t,” Buffy said, angrily. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.”

What do you want me to say then?” Willow asked, not wanting to be on a slayers bad side.

“There’s nothing you can say,” Buffy said, softly. “I’m dead inside Willow. Nothing is gunna make that better. Not from you anyway.”

Tears well in Willow’s eyes. “If I had known where you were, I would have left you there,” she said.

A few days later, Willow and Tara had moved out and Spike had moved in. Buffy was feeling slightly better and she was happy that she had Spike.

“You know Luv,” Spike said, coming into their room.

“What?” Buffy asked, from the bed.

“Things worked out didn’t they?” He asked, climbing in with her.

Buffy smiled. “I guess they did,” she said, kissing him softly.


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