The Xander Gander: March 8th, 2002
by slayerfest
Time passed. Things happened.

Anya and I got almost married. I’m such an idiot. I left her at the podium.
Not the podium. The altar.
I’ve been soberer. I don’t usually drink, but if there was a time to drink this was a time to drink.
But also I’m very tired so maybe that’s a factor.

I took off after that and apparently she did too. I can’t find her. I’m an idiot though. I’m such an idiot. I had doubts the whole time and I waited until someone pretended to be me and told me I was making a mistake. I knew it was a hoax after the frying pan scene. It was just a reflexion of my parent’s marriage.

How do you spell reflexion? Reflextion. Reflection. I don’t know.
I don’t really care. But it’s a mystery sort of.

Look, see? I didn’t even write in my journal the whole time since the, the music demon. I tried to make things happy and I made things worse and apparently I carried that over to the wedding. I just love her, you know? And I thought that if we didn’t get married we could be happy forever anyway but I didn’t notice that it doesn’t make a difference. You’re either meant for each other or you’re not. And Anya and I are.

I’ve been telling myself that for years and over Christmas. But it never really sinks in, you know?

I want her back. Maybe we can date. I liked dating Anya. It was a happy time for me.

Buffy tied me up in a basement and tried to feed me to a demon. That on top of no Anya was what made me drink I think.

Drink. Think. Sink. Mink. Blink. Skating rink.

I’ll go to bed now.
I guess I’m a quiet drunk.
Maybe I should have figured that out before I went to the wedding and met not me.

We’d chosen March 5th because it was 23 days before we met three years ago. 23 is her favourite number because significant things always happened to her on the 23rd of the month. I bought her engagement ring on the 23rd of December once.
She also likes it because it’s a prime number. It doesn’t divide into anything except itself and one.
She likes 19 for the same reason, but 23 is her favourite.

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