Operation: Get Into Buffy's Pants: Fashion Disaster
by Alex Wert
"I'm glad you took those shoes off," Buffy said after she returned from yelling at Dawn for whoring up Willow. "You're a giant with those heels. It was hurting my neck."
"Nah, you're just short," said Willow, then covered her mouth as she realized that she had just pissed off Buffy with the short comment. How did she realize? Buffy was glaring daggers at her and was turning quite red and balling up her hands into fists. She had started to get sensitive about her lack of height on the bus out of Sunnydale when she realized that most of the fifteen year old girls where at least half a head taller than she was. The bus wasn't in very roadworthy shape when they finally got back to civilization. Darn. What a crappy time to start with the Xanderisms. C'mon, brain, rescue me here. "Um... Kidding? You're not short. I'm a lumberjack. And you're tall. You're like Yao Ming." Lousy brain. She fidgetted, cursing her lack of tact. "I'm going to shut up now, yes sir, shutting up from this moment... now."
"Thank God for that. I'll let the insult slide. This time. But now you've got to explain that outfit you're wearing. Let me just restate: Wha-huh?"
Willow looked down at her cleavage exposing, midriff baring, thigh showing new clothes. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, actually it seemed like a horrifying idea at the time (but she went along with Dawnie anyway - foolish her), and now it was just... disturbing.
"I hope this isn't just a rebound thing, Wills, where you're planning on trolling for skanks at the clubs. That's just not healthy. You could get diseased."
"No trolling," Willow grumbled. Definitely no skanks (though some might have a different opinion). "I'm guessing you're not a fan of the outfit."
"I don't even think Faith would wear that. If you had a particular girl in mind, Wills, I hope she didn't see you in that. She'd probably have a heart attack and your chances would make a snowball's in Hell look good."
'I suck' started seeming like a pretty good mantra at this point. "Too late."
"Well, that's sucky. You want me to get you some more ice cream?"
"Nah. I'm, uh, I'm going to return the outfit. Buff, want to go shopping with me? I'm buying."
"No thanks, Will. I've still got lots of clothes and stuff left over from the Immortal. You have fun though."
Poopy. That worked on Dawn.
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