The Xander Gander: May 6th, 2001
by slayerfest
Dawn was released from hospital today. Giles greeted her with being sober, which was a bold maneuver for him when compared to his state over the last week or so. Anya gave her money, which from her was very thoughtful. Dawn put on a brave face and even cracked a very forced smile at one point. Then she packed a bag and went to Spike’s. I think she’s relating to him because she thinks he’s the only one feeling grief to the same magnitude as she is.

Last night, Giles, Willow and I had a conference regarding what we’re going to do without… the Slayer. Willow said she’d fix up the… Spike’s old sexbot to make her less sexbot and more fighting machine so demons wouldn’t know… the Slayer was… out of commission. That was after Willow gets back from L. A. to tell Angel all about how… what happened.

We were going to have Giles move in and take custody of Dawn, but he just shook his head and said he’d be going back to England—permanently—after all… the affairs were taken care of. We thought maybe Dawn could live with Anya and I, but it was pretty much mutual that she’d much rather live with Willow and Tara, so they’re going to move into the house over the next week or so, at which time Dawn will stay either with Anya and I or with Spike.

I think she’ll probably end up staying with Spike. Normally I’d throw a nervous fit about it, but I bet all he’s doing is lying about crying anyway, which is all any of us really feel like doing these days.
Even Anya. I’ve never seen her like this. It’s scary. Usually she’s my rock, because she sees everything so rationally, but it’s like that quality has left her completely. I think when I get home I’ll suggest that she opens up the shop tomorrow. Maybe that’ll bring her back to me.
Or maybe we should just take off for a while. We’re not really needed here. We could do that. Just go somewhere. Away. Far. Where none of this makes a dif

It always makes a difference.
If there’s anything her friendship over the years taught me, it’s that it always makes a difference.

I have to close this book before I start flipping back pages and remembering things about her I’d long forgotten.
This all feels like so much. Too much.

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