Desperate Acts: Epilogue
by Wravyn
Disclaimer: Not mine.
The door to Angel’s bedroom opened with a creak. “Hi, Cordelia,” said the vampire, not bothering to look up from his desk. “How was your day?”
“Oh you know, the usual. Fail a couple classes, dust a couple vamps ... Giles was wigging about some prophecy or another. All in all a typical day in the life of Buffy Anne Summers.”
Angel spun around at the voice. “Buffy,” he said hoarsely.
Buffy stood by the door to his room awkwardly. “Door was open, I just went in.”
“Why are you here?”
She let out a shaky laugh. “Oh, can’t a girl pay her ex a casual visit without being given the third degree anymore?” He merely stared at her. Buffy lost her smile and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. “She told me what happened. She told me ... what you gave up for her.”
Angel’s voice was low. “She’s my friend.”
Buffy hesitated. “She really appreciates what you did, you know.”
“So she told me afterwards,” he said, smiling faintly. “It seems that it was the right thing for her to do, returning here. She’s finally got everything she ever wanted.”
“Yeah, she’s got Xander and she’s popular again,” said Buffy wryly. “Everything’s right in her little Queen C universe.” Her tone was slightly wistful, as if she were comparing Cordy’s happiness with her own. She caught Angel’s gaze and swallowed with difficulty.
“Why did you make that wish, Angel?”
His eyes were inscrutable. “You mean Cordy didn’t tell you that part of the story?”
“No,” she lied. She wanted to hear the words from his own lips.
“Why do you think I made that wish, Buffy?”
She looked away. “I’m not sure. Sometimes I wish ...”
“If there’s anything I learned from this experience, it’s never to make a wish again,” he interrupted. “Nothing ever goes the way you plan it to.” He turned back to his desk and picked up the pen he had put down. He resumed writing, a clear indication that he wanted her to leave.
Buffy spread her hands in a gesture of supplication. “Angel, please ... talk to me.”
He turned to face her again, and his dark eyes were melancholy. “Buffy ...” he said in a tired voice. “What do you want?”
She licked her lips nervously, but would not speak. The simple act fascinated him, and he lowered his gaze to keep from reaching out to her and crushing her to his chest.
She had made her choice. He had to stick to his.
“You should go.”
“You,” she said suddenly. His startled eyes met hers. Buffy’s voice wavered, but her gaze was steady. “I want you, Angel.”
“Oh, really?” His tone was cynical, and he crossed his arms across his chest. He would not give in so easily. He could not. Did Buffy realize the hold she had over him? Did she suspect how close he was to breaking? He loved her! But he owed it to himself to move on.
“Angel ...” and her voice was a plea. His eyes were narrowed, betraying none of the turmoil he felt inside. “When you ... after I ...” The words were just not coming out. Buffy sighed heavily and tried to go on, gathering up her courage as she did so. “After I sent you to hell, I felt horrible. I didn’t know that Willow would attempt to re-curse you again so I wasn’t prepared. I was ready to kill. But not you, never you.” Her eyes filled with tears at the painful memory. “I was going to kill Angelus. How was I supposed to know that you would be you? I had, to Angel. For the sake of the world.” She gave a bitter laugh. “I had to kill my one true love in order to save mankind. Tough choice there, huh? Sometimes I really hate my job.” Still he said nothing, so she continued, shuffling around awkwardly. “I couldn’t deal with it, you know? So I ran off, but even being away didn’t help ease the pain. I had to come back – I had my responsibilities – but I never got over ... a-and after you came back, I thought that maybe ...” Buffy swallowed hard.
The silence stretched out between them. The tension was palpable, but neither would back down from the other.
Finally she spoke again, and though she held her head high, her disappointment was clearly obvious. “I’m sorry. I won’t come again.”
She left the room quietly. Angel curbed the desire to jump up and run after her. He dropped his face in his hands and cursed his stubborn pride. He had lost her yet again.
sneered his demon.
he told his demon harshly.
mocked the voice. His demon laughed at his growing anger and frustrations.
Exerting supreme control over his wills, Angel forced down his violent emotions and stood up. “You may get inside my head easily enough, Demon,” he said out loud, grabbing his jacket from the back of a chair, but you can never get inside my heart.”
* * *
The door swung open to reveal a wan-looking Buffy who started in surprise upon seeing him at her doorstep. Smiling crookedly at her, he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets like a nervous schoolboy on his first date.
“May I come in?”
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