Difficult Directions: Demons, Blood Suckers, and More!
by Kaoz
Some pieces of the stroy and dialog are from the original Angel scripts. You can tell where I'lve included them by the (+)sign at the begining and end of each insert. Except for the obvious parts where I've written in Phade.
Hope you guys enjoy. Pls review. Thanks.
They had to have taken at least 5 yrs off my life span. Seeing Lorne for the first time was nothing compared to what came slithering out into the garden. Efren ran screaming to me and when I saw what had him freaking out I joined in for a couple of screams before calming down, myself. The little beast was squealing loudly as well but as soon as I slapped my hand over Efren’s mouth and stopped making noise it quit too.
It was gross!
Slimy-smelly-yellow-booger like fluids oozed from it coating the grass and forming a puddle. It opened its mouth and little feelers wormed out testing the air.
That was enough for me.
“Okay.” I took Efren by his shoulders and pushed him towards the door.
“We’ll be going inside now.” I didn’t take my eyes off the worm and it didn’t follow us.
Once inside I stopped on the steps. The entire lobby was swarming with different looking monsters!
What the Hell is going on here?
I searched the lobby for the others, not bothering to look for Lorne since he would blend in too much with this crowd. Then again Cordelia and her invisible horns might stick out and sure enough I saw her sitting at the counter with a phone in her hand.
Seriously, the girl can’t live without one.
“Aha!” I took Efren's hand and made my way towards her seeing Angel trying to write while holding the phone to his ear and carrying Conner.
“I swear men are deficient when it comes to babies.” I mumbled.
“Huh?” Efren looked up at me. He had the cutest look of confusion, all fake of course.
“Deficient.” I said. We stopped just behind Angel and I tapped his shoulder. When he turned the phone slipped and he almost lost his hold on the baby as he tried to grab it.
“Would you try and be careful with him?” I took Conner from him with a glare. He looked sheepish though he picked up the phone and finished what he was writing.
“Great. I'm on my way.” Angel turned to leave as he hung up.
“No, mister. Your coming with me.” I took his arm and pulled him to a corner of the lobby where it was less noisy or populated than the rest of the lobby.
“What the hell is going on here? We’re in the garden and this wormy monster comes out of nowhere! And you never do two other things while you’re holding the baby! Baby. 1st priority.” I waggled a finger in his face while I held Conner.
(+)
“Business. We have business now. And I have a big case. I have to provide for this little guy.” Angel looked down at Conner with a goofy smile on his face waving his finger at him. (+)
“Business, huh? Okay, then its about time you started to teach me how to use a sword or something. I'm not about to be helpless when some monster comes at me.”
“I don’t have time right now-.”
“Hey! You help the helpless so help me be un-helpless so I can help you help the other helpless and help provide for this one.” I lifted Conner higher so he could see. “And that one.” I nodded towards Efren. Angel looked confused. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Train me you dunce! Make me a fighter.”
(+)
“Oh. After this case, I promise.” Angel patted my shoulder and began to walk off.
"I think he needs changing. Oh, and bottle, three o'clock." Then he disappeared in the crowd. (+)
“Damn.” I looked down at Efren.
“Well, you wanted a little brother. Maybe now you’ll change your mind.” I sighed and went upstairs to change the wet diaper hoping that was all he’d done.
««««« »»»»»»
I sat in the lobby with my lap top when Angel came back. Not long after that did Lorne stumble into the lobby.
(+)
“Bon giorno, everybody, bon giorno.” He said.
“You’ve been drinking?” Angel didn’t sound pleased and I felt the need to quip.
“I guess that answers my earlier question, green guy.”
“Oh, I can hold my liquor. Unfortunately I cant say the same for my firewater.” Then he giggled.
I rolled my eyes at him and smiled amused.
“Aren’t they the same thing?’” Fred asked.
“Hey,Fred-girl! No, this is special firewater, used to loosen the tongue of my Gar-wak snitch. They light the water on fire and there's chanting and a bong, and look out, Houston!"
“So wrong about the liquor aye.” I shook my head and continued my search.
"Did you learn anything about Holtz?" Angel asked impatiently.
"Oh yeah. He is really not fond of you. I'm led to believe that he and his Grapplar demons had plans to,” Lorne swiped his hand across his neck and made this funny sort of squak. “you.” I saw Angel lean away from Lorne and close his eyes. “Is my breath stinky?" Lorne asked him.
“I’d say that’s a yes.” I stood up setting my lap top on the counter and actually trying to get all the information I could from this sort of meeting without really having to ask any questions.
"Holtz is using the Grapplars as soldiers."
"Not anymore, Bucko. He poisoned them and he's looking for replacements. Humans." Lorne swayed on his feet and I wondered how long it would take for him to either sit down or fall over.
“Yeah, people are that stupid right?” I asked turning to face the group. The looks on their faces kind of said I was wrong.
"Do we know where he is?" Angel asked.
"Bro, I'm on it. I've got rats looking all over this town. Well, not actual rats - except two of them. Ooh, I don't feel so good." Lorne swayed precariously as he grabbed his head.
Then a couple of demons with the ‘I am Merlin’ robes came in clicking and clacking like crazy.
"Uh, we've got company." Cordelia said as she picked up Conner from his crib.
“Everyone’s a genius.” Hey, how could I pass up that opportunity? She’s lucky I didn’t do her one worse.
“These are the guys that wanted Wesley." Angel gave us a warning look before turning to the Nahdrah’s.
I shrugged and let them deal with the icky looking things. Some one had to look for the Holtz dude. Not that I thought a web search would give me much of a lead but hey they were the ones paying for it.
"Not anymore. Now they want Fred." Lorne waved a hand in Fred’s general direction. I left them there going to my suite. Damn that just sounds really nice.
(+)
“My suite.” I sighed smiling. Once in my suite I set my laptop on the desk I had set up by the window and sat down to do the search. After about twenty minutes of typing in all kinds of variants on the name ‘Steven Holtz’ I figured the guy really didn’t want to be found or he just never existed.
“Time for some hocus pocus.” I sighed. This was going to be a little harder to do and take longer. What with the setting up of the crystals and casting a circle not to mention the meditating part before any of that was done.
“Whoa, this’ll be a while.”
««««« »»»»»»
I drove through the heavy traffic in downtown L.A. fighting my way into a parking structure in Chinatown. Just my luck to forget my little brother’s upcoming birthday. Then again with everything that’s happened over the past weeks they really couldn’t blame me for forgetting. The problem with that is the explanation.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about forgetting the day you were born but you see there was this crazy pregnant vampire trying to get rid of her baby and craving your nephew’s blood and then there are all these demons coming to Angel Inc. because they need help and since they-we help the helpless there’s a lot of work so you see? It’s really not my fault.”
I looked in the rearview mirror and shook my head. Nobody in his or her right mind would believe that story. The thing is, I am in my right mind.
I noticed Efren looking at me funny.
“Mommy’s only a little bit loopy in the head, k?”
Efren smiled then laughed as I jumped. My cell rang, I still hadn't gotten used to the ring tone and sometimes I didn’t realize I was ringing. This time I knew it was me and when I saw who was calling I groaned. Really, what did she need me for?
I put the cell in the space between the seats and locked my doors.
“She can’t have anything important to say to me.” Besides, I had presents to shop for. Guy was crazy about his fantasy weapons so I figured I’d add to his collection and maybe I’d even get something for Efren. I waited for him to come around the car then gave him my hand.
“You want a sword?” I asked.
“Yes!” What a happy little boy I made him.
««««« »»»»»»
(+)
"Well. Your uncle Wes and uncle Gunn not picking up either. And your daddy, he doesn't know how to work his voicemail or keep a promise. So we'll go down to the Marina, return the money and explain it was all just a big mistake." Cordelia picked up Conner and then grabbed the money case and headed out of the bedroom. She stopped at the lobby glancing at the phone then at the door.
(+)
“Oh, what the hell.” Cordelia set the money case on the counter and picked up the receiver. She took a deep breath and dialed then waited. When the voicemail picked up she hmphed annoyed and left a message. She let the receiver fall in its cradle then took the money and walked out of the lobby.
“I know she can work her voice mail.”
««««« »»»»»»
“Why is no one answering their cell phones?” I grumbled.
“No one’s home, mom?” Efren asked from the back seat.
“No baby, shush.” I had to concentrate on getting through this traffic and onto the freeway. It was late but in L.A. traffic was one thing you could always count on to slow you down. Right now I wished we had wings.
“Who takes a baby there?” I exclaimed banging on my horn to get through a yellow light. I just hoped there wasn’t a policeman or one of those camera lights. I just hate those!
Once on the freeway I grabbed my cell and dialed Angel and yet again was directed to his voicemail which I knew he’d never answer. He was completely useless with technology but give him some medieval weapon or thigamagig about as old as him and he was just fucking Einstein!
“Fuck!” I hung up and dialed Gunn hoping this time he would pick up.
“Mom. Don’t say bad words!” Efren scolded me from the back seat. I had to grind my teeth to keep from snapping at him. He was getting on my nerves and it wasn’t even his fault. If that stupid woman had just stayed where she was-. Then again if I had picked up sooner maybe she wouldn’t have gone to the marina with Conner.
“Arh! Voicemail!” I hung up and dialed Wesley. He would pick up, God I hoped he picked up.
“Voicemail! Dammit, answer the stupid phones!!” I yelled into the receiver and threw the cell phone on the passenger seat.
I could see the exit coming up only 3miles but they seemed to take for ever. I kept hearing Cordelia’s message in my head.
“Fred’s in trouble. The Nahdrahs want her head so if you can get a hold of any one tell them to go to the marina. I'm on my way there with the money. I hope I can persuade them to give her back. Oh, tell Angel, Conner is with me.”
‘Fucking moron! Who takes a baby there?’
The light turned red as I came barreling down the street. There wasn’t a lot of traffic but still.
“No! No,no,no! Turn green! Green I say!” I leaned into my steering wheel yelling. I slammed on the brakes just as the light turned green.
“What the fu-!” I was surprised by the sudden change but the baby was the most important thing on my mind. I shoved the gas pedal all the way down and the Honda picked up speed again. It wasn’t my favorite car but it was big enough to carry around all my things when I’d needed it.
“Efren, get in the back and give me the swords we bought for Guy.”
“Yes, mom.” I saw him scramble over the back seat and throw the katanas over. There were three and the wood display stand which at the moment I didn’t need. Efren jumped into the back seat and leaned forward handing them to me one by one.
“Hold on.” I warned as I turned into the marina’s parking lot. The Nahdrahn’s lived on a barge and the only one I could see was all the way at the end of the lot.
(Really, I have no idea if it’s called a pier or what. But the big boat was at the end of the land bridge I was driving on.)
I swerved to a stop and grabbed up the two largest katana’s and handed Efren the 3rd.
“Keep this one and stay on the floor in the back. Make sure the doors are locked and keep the keys with you. Don’t open the doors for any one.” I gave him the keys and locked the doors before I closed it.
“Get down.” I ordered seeing him peek out the window at me. He quickly ducked down and I ran to the barge. They had this long ramp going to a hole in the side of the barge and I headed up.
Inside it was dark, I had to let my eyes adjust before I went up another ladder. It was like some maze, one I was lucky enough to find my way through and only because I heard Cordelia.
(+)
"Lorne - do these guys have groins?" she asked.
"Is that really important right now?" Fred. I was glad she was still alive.
"Work with me here, kids." Cordelia held Conner to her as I came through the curtained arch way.
"I think so. I never knew one intimately." Lorne said from his position on the floor. (+)
“Why are you asking about their package?” I asked from behind her. Cordelia turned surprised to see me. I pulled out one of the katanas and pointed at the Nahdrahn. “Bad guy?” I asked. At her nod I rolled my eyes.
“Excuse me. See this?” I pointed at the katana blade. “It’s sharp, not as much as I’d like but it works. This pointy end, yeah that goes in there!” I shoved the end into the Nahdrahn.
God, it was the grossest thing ever! It felt like I’d stuck my hand in a bucket of shitlins, minus the stinky smell.
“Uuhgh!” I scrunched my face and turned away as the Nahdrahn slid off the blade and fell to the floor.
“Breath mints are good!” I exclaimed but didn’t really expect them to go out and buy some.
So much for them not stinking.
By then two more Nahdrah’s had come out to see what the commotion was all about. I turned to look at Cordelia who was still holding Conner and standing behind me.
“Hello.” I waved a hand at her wondering why she hadn't left yet. “What are you still doing there?”
“Hey, I was here first!” Cordelia exclaimed.
“Baby.” I pointed to Conner then arched my eyebrow. “Angel’s going to be really happy about his son getting eaten by the Nahdrah’s.”
Her face did that ‘oh’ kinda look but she didn’t move.
“Dammit go! Get him out of here!”
“What?” she looked from Conner to me and the swords in my hands. I could see what she was thinking just before she pushed Conner towards me.
“You take him. I'm better with a sword than you.”
“What? No!” I took a step away from her and was stopped by a solid object right behind me.
“Shit.” I sighed. I could see from her face that it wasn’t good and as I turned to see the Nahdrahn behind me I tried to smile. “Hi-.”
I didn’t get to say anything else as he shoved me aside. I stumbled tripping on the Nahdrahn’s robe and hit my shoulder on the rails. Cordelia stepped forward and kicked him between the legs. His robe sort of billowed and I heard a metal clang.
(+) "Oh. Ow! Ow! Ow!" Cordelia hopped on one foot backwards through the curtain. I blinked and began to get to my feet when she came back in bracketed by Wes and Gunn. They wasted no time on hello’s just went straight in for the kill. (+)
“Hi to you too.” I grumbled picking up the long katana and following them. I wasn’t sure what I thought I could do but I wanted to hurt something badly but I wasn’t stupid about it either. I stayed out of the way until I could get at one of the Nahdrahn’s from behind or blindside them.
Do you really think I wanted to get hurt?
"Fred! Help her!" Cordelia yelled. I turned to look for her and saw that she was sitting all tied up with a sword to her neck. That was the stupidest thing I could do. After all my sneaking up behind the Nahdrahn’s and gutting them one of them decided to try my tactics.
I felt a heavy hand just shove me. I imagine that’s how a fly feels when you hit it with a fly swatter. The Nahdrahn’s are strong and I went flying across the room. Somewhere along the way I lost the katanas and just before I hit the wall I saw glittering lights. I hit the corner of the generator with my side knocking it over and banged my head on the wall. I don’t even remember falling on the floor.
««««« »»»»»»
The next chapter is in the works, sorry about the short posts but real life is interfeering with my fiction.
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