Coma: Chapter 5
by Wolfkin
Chapter 5

Willow starts out of the bathroom door, then jumps back with a startled "Oh!"

"Sorry, Willow." Dawn says, grimacing at having scared her friend/sister. "Didn't mean to almost run over you there."

Willow takes a couple deep breaths, getting her racing heart back under control. "It's-it's okay, Dawnie. Just wasn't expecting you to be there and it's been kind of a weird day, you know?"

The teen nods and smiles a little. "Yeah, I know. I've been looking for Buffy for hours, but she seems to have disappeared. You haven't seen her, have you?"

"Oh, uh," Willow tries to think fast, tries to figure out how to tell Dawn that Tara's not dead and that she, Buffy and Kennedy were at the hospital for the last couple hours. The redhead still vividly remembers that first morning after Tara came back to her, how excited Dawn was that her family was whole again. She also remembers how devastated the teen was when she found the blonde witch in a pool of her own blood the next day. Xander had told her, not that long ago, that Dawn had confessed to him that losing Tara was like losing her mother and Buffy all over again.

The witch looks over at her bedroom door and gently takes Dawn by the arm. "Come on, Dawnie. I need to talk to you for a minute." She starts to lead the teen across the hall.

Dawn immediately adds up Willow wanting to talk to her in private with Buffy missing and comes with, "NO!!" Her eyes are instantly full of tears as she stops moving and starts to shake her head. "Please, no! Please, Willow, not again!"

The redhead looks back at the teen, confused for a second, then realizes what Dawn must be thinking. She quickly takes the teen in her arms, hugging her tightly. "No, Dawnie, no! Buffy's fine, I promise! She was with me and Kennedy and we were out, that's why you couldn't find her." She tucks a handful of the teen's hair back over her shoulder. "I just left Buffy downstairs and she was perfectly healthy." She smiles reassuringly.

Dawn stares at her for a moment, her mind desperately trying to make sense of the redhead's words. "You promise?" She finally asks in a tiny voice. At Willow's nod and little smile, she sags into the witch's arms in relief, beginning to breathe easier. She feels Willow's arms slide around her for a gentle hug, but pulls away, an angry look on her face. "Don't ever scare me like that again!"

Willow forces a reassuring smile on her face. "I'll try to remember that." She pauses a second, then gets serious again. "I still need to talk to you, Dawnie." She looks around for a second, then takes the teen by the elbow, steering her toward the room she shares with Kennedy.

Dawn allows herself to be escorted into the room. "If Buffy's okay, what's up?"

Willow remains silent until they're in the room, then steers the younger girl to the bed and indicates she should sit down. When she does so, the redhead takes a deep breath. "Dawnie, the reason you couldn't find Buffy is that she was at the hospital with me and Kennedy. We..."

"But you said she wasn't hurt!" Dawn interrupts. Then her eyes get a little bigger. "Oh God! Was it Kennedy? Did she get hurt? Was it Bringers?"

"Dawn!" Willow nears yells. "I'm trying to tell you what happened, so stop with the questions, okay?" She smiles a little to take the sting from her words. Taking a deep breath, the witch starts again. "I... We got a call earlier from the hospital asking for Giles, but, since he wasn't here, the three of us went down there."

Willow pauses, trying to order her thoughts and locking an iron control over her emotions. She knows Dawn is going to have a meltdown and it won't do either of them any good if she does too. "Dawnie, the reason they called was to tell that something we've all believed for nearly a year was wrong." She takes both of Dawn's hands in her own and locks eyes with the girl. "They called because Tara never died. She was in a coma and she woke up last night."

Dawn stares at her for a second, then she laughs, but it soon gives way to tears. The teen looks at the floor. "Who are you?" She whispers, her tone haunted. "You can't be Willow, cause she wouldn't be that mean to me, unless..." she trails off, then looks up suddenly and into the redhead's eyes. A look of confusion crosses her face when she sees sad green where she expected flat black.

"It's really me, Dawnie and I'm telling you the truth. Tara's alive. I've seen her, touched her, talked to her." [Been rejected by her. Again,] she thinks sadly. "Buffy talked to her the longest. I kinda ran out when she said she couldn't remember us getting back together."

Dawn lifts sad, hopeful eyes to meet the redhead's. "She really is alive?" At Willow's nod, she closes her eyes and her tears increase as she remembers that awful afternoon she sat and stared at what she thought was Tara's dead body, not comprehending what was happening. "How?"

"We're not sure," the redhead says honestly, caressing the teen's cheek. "The doctor we talked to today said that the person in the morgue..." Willow stops speaking for a moment. Even the knowledge that Tara is alive doesn't stop the shudder that passes through her at the thought of the blonde witch having a reason to be in such a place. "She said the person there found a very weak pulse and immediately sent her up to the ER and surgery. They saved her life, but she's been in a coma since that night. Well, until last night, anyway. She woke up, more or less okay, just with some memories missing."

"What memories?" Dawn asks, suddenly fearful the blonde witch won't remember her. Her secret fear since finding out her true origins has been for everyone she loves to forget who she is. The brunette teen knows she won't be able to stands it to get Tara back, only to have the woman she regards as a sort of surrogate mother not know her.

Willow looks sad for a split second, then schools her expression again. "She remembers everything up to the morning after Buffy's twenty first birthday, but nothing after that. At least, that's what Buffy said she said," she explains.

Dawn looks troubled and sad for her friend. "She doesn't remember you guys getting back together?" Willow shakes her head sadly and Dawn makes a sympathetic noise and face. Thinking she needs to distract her friend/sister, Dawn asks, "How did the hospital know to call here? I mean, if we all thought... Anyway, how did they get this number?"

Willow thinks hard, trying to remember that first conversation with the hospital, but it seems so long ago.. "Oh, when the hospital called, they asked for Giles. They said they were supposed to call him when she woke up."

"Giles?" The teen whispers. Her incredulous expression is swiftly replaced with indignation and anger. "Giles knew she wasn't dead and let us think she was? Let us grieve and bury her and watched you be so lost without her and never told us? I thought he loved us!"

Willow quickly gathers the distraught teenager into her arms and Dawn curls into her embrace. "Oh, sweetie! I'm sure he had his reasons, we just don't know them yet!" She strokes the girl's long hair soothingly, doing her best to hide her own anxiety about the Watcher's concealment of the truth. "Buffy says he'll be home soon. We can find out what really happened then, right?"

"I guess."

Willow smiles a little at the tiny voice. [Dawn tries so hard now to be a grown up. It's nice to see there's still a little girl in there,] the redhead thinks. She pulls back and looks at the teen, forcing a bright smile onto her face. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we head downstairs and you can talk to Buffy, see what Tara said to her, cause I was a little upset and distracted when she told me." Her stomach grumbles a little, though she honestly can't tell if it's from hunger or stress. "Besides, I have a gorgeous potential Slayer waiting to take me on a picnic and I'm running a little late," the wicca says lightly, trying to play it off as kind of a joke, hoping Dawn will take the hint.

Her hopes are short lived. "Oh God! Kennedy! Willow, what are you going to do about Kennedy?!"

Willow sighs, though she tries to maintain her smile. "Well, right now, I'm gonna go find her and go on our picnic, then go to the Bronze, if we can talk Buffy into it. Why? Did you wanna go dancing with us?"

She shakes her head. "No, I mean, what are you going to do about you and Kennedy being a couple since Tara's okay?" She smiles hopefully. "You and Tara are gonna get back together, right? We'll all help her remember so you can." Her expression changes a little, becoming somewhat sympathetic. "I mean, I know you like Kennedy, I do too, but... It's Tara."

Willow gives Dawn an understanding look. She does understand why the girl is thinking like she is. The three of them had gotten so close, with Dawn regarding the two wiccas as surrogate parents, the summer Buffy was dead. "Sweetie, I know you love Tara as much as I do, but it's not a sure thing that she'll remember or forgive me again. I hope she does, forgive me, that is, but us together again depends on a lot." She takes a deep breath and sighs. "Not the least of which is now, I'm in love with Kennedy too, not just Tara, so friends may be the best Tara and I can do."

Dawn stands speechless for several seconds, her mouth moving, trying to form words at this revelation. Finally, she says, her voice starting as a whisper before gaining strength and volume, "You... love... You can't love Kennedy! You love Tara! You always have!" Tears begin to fall from the teen's eyes. "I don't want her to leave again. She'll leave if you don't take her back. Please don't make her go away again!"

Willow enfolds the distraught teenager in a tight hug. "Oh, Dawnie! I don't want her to leave, either, but it's not about what you or I want, but what Tara wants. Whether or not she can accept the changes that have happened to me, to all of us." She pulls back a little, so she can see Dawn's eyes. "And it's not my choice, Tara and I getting together again, not entirely. It's Tara's and mine and Kennedy's." She presses two fingers to the brunette's lips to stop her protests. "Yes, Kennedy does have a say because I love her. You understand, right?"

"No, I don't understand!" Dawn vehemently pulls away from the redhead. "I remember the morning after Tara finally came home. You guys were so happy! I was too! You guys were back together, Buffy was finally herself again after everything that had happened. We just had to get rid of Warren and the others, fix what had happened with Xander and get Giles to come home and I'd have my family back!"

Her tears start to flow faster as she speaks and Willow moves toward her, only to stop as Dawn throws up a hand and a warning look to stop the witch's progress. She gives the redhead a hateful look. "Now you're telling me I have another chance to have my family, all of my family together again, but it might not happen because of some jumped up Slayer wannabe?!"

"That's enough, Dawn," Buffy's stern voice comes from the doorway. Looking toward Willow, the blonde Slayer can see how upset her sister has made the witch and she gets angry. Controlling her temper, though, she quietly says, "Will, Kennedy's waiting for you out back. You don't want your dinner to get cold, right?"

The redhead sniffs deeply and wipes her eyes as she stands. "No. No, I don't." She smiles gratefully at Buffy, having no idea how heartbreakingly sad the smile is. "Thanks, Buffy." She immediately leaves without a backward glance at Dawn.

Dawn stands as well and starts to leave, only to have Buffy hold up a hand. "Not so fast. We need to have a little chat," the Slayer tells her sister as she closes the door, her expression stern and not a little angry.

* * *

Willow exits the bathroom again, having tried to erase the evidence of her tears after her 'discussion' with Dawn. She knows that it'll upset Kennedy if the younger woman sees that she's been crying again and she wants to avoid a confrontation between the two teens. Kennedy is always so protective of her, but she doesn't want her girlfriend to be angry at Dawn.

Taking a deep breath, she squares her shoulders and heads for the stairs. The redhead makes her way through the house's first floor, nodding absently at the assembled potentials relaxing between Buffy's training session. Continuing through the house, she steps onto the back porch and stops, both to allow her eyes to adjust to the evening sunlight hitting her face and to spot her potential.

"Will?"

Looking toward the sound, the wicca spots her girl sitting behind and to one side of the tree in the back corner. "There you are." She smiles as she starts moving again. "Sorry I took so long. I ran into Dawnie and told her about... Well, about what's happened," she explained, her expression turning a little sad.

Concern laces the younger girl's tone. "Are you okay?" Kennedy's voice takes on a more ominous note. "Did she say something?"

Willow considers lying for a split second to keep Kennedy from getting angry, but decides against it. "Yeah, she did, but it's okay. She was just upset and besides, Buffy was talking to her when I left."

Kennedy grunts a little, a frown on her face. "Hope she's reaming her a new..." She looks up as Willow clears her throat, then grimaces and ducks her head as she realizes what she said. "Sorry, Will. You know how I get when someone hurts you."

The redhead kneels on the edge of the blanket, then leans forward a little so she can easily touch the moping potential in front of her. Tilting Kennedy's head up so that she can see her eyes, Willow smiles and places a chaste kiss on the younger woman's lips. "Yes, I do know and I don't mind. It's been a long time since someone besides Buffy cared enough to be all protective of me and it feels nice, to be honest."

"Of course I care about you!" Kennedy protests, her voice firm, her eyes flashing. "I lo-" She stops speaking suddenly, her cheeks turning a flaming red as she once more can't meet the redhead's eyes. "I - I mean... I just can't stand to see anyone hurt you," she says quietly, her blush still as strong as it was.

Willow carefully hides the smile that threatens to blossom on her face at what Kennedy had nearly admitted. Leaning forward again, she places another, quick kiss on the potential's lips. "I... care about you too," she replies with a shy smile.

Kennedy looks up and into Willow's eyes for a moment and is nearly staggered by the emotions she sees shining from them. Her answering smile is equal parts relief, wonder and a desperate need to believe .

Willow strokes a tanned cheek, staring at this young woman she's come to love in the passed few weeks. She ignores Buffy's voice in the back of her mind telling her she'll have to choose eventually between Kennedy and Tara. She'll worry about that later. Tonight is about reassuring Kennedy that she's not going to be tossed aside. Giving her head a little shake and smiling a little brighter, Willow looks down at the food the SiT has prepared for them. "Everything looks good, sweetie. I know I promised we'd talk, but why don't we eat first? I'm pretty hungry and I know it's been hours since you had anything, so you must be starved!"

Kennedy did sort of a little double take. She'd expected that they'd have that talk Willow had promised, but the redhead seemed to be almost oblivious, certainly not noticing her nervousness. To be honest, the beautiful brunette wasn't really all that hungry. Ever since learning that Willow's ex(was she?)-girlfriend was still alive, she'd been bracing herself for Willow to tell her that it had been fun, but she was going back to her real girlfriend now. And to be equally honest, since that's what was going to happen, she wanted the redhead to get on with it. Then, she could smile and say she understood, then walk away and find some where to collapse and cry.

Steeling herself, the potential Slayer just shakes her head. "Um, actually, Red, I'd prefer it if we just got this over with. Besides, I'm not really all that hungry right now."

Willow looks up at the defeated, yet wary tone, scrutinizing Kennedy's face and body language. After a moment, she groans softly to herself as she realizes she's unintentionally hurt her girl once more, even after she'd vowed to herself that she wouldn't do that. [No,] she thought bitterly. [All pain from here will be intentional and planned.]

Casting her eyes down, Willow returns the sandwich she'd picked up to her plate. Sighing, she looks up and tries to catch Kennedy's eye, but the younger woman steadfastly avoids her gaze. Sighing again, the redhead quietly says, "Sweetie, I'm sorry if I seemed to be leaving you hanging. I didn't mean to, but I seem to be doing a lot of bad things to you today when I don't mean to." She quickly reaches across the blanket and places two fingers on the brunette's lips. "No, it's not alright and I promised myself I wouldn't do it again, but I did and I'm so sorry. I want desperately to promise that I won't do it again, but something tells me I won't be able to keep that promise either, so I'll just promise to try."

Kennedy gently grabs the hand away from her face. "Will, it is okay. Like I said earlier today, it hurts and I don't especially like it, but I totally understand. I can't imagine what today has put you through, but I'm more than willing to be patient. Whatever you need, however long, I'll wait."

Willow smiles endearingly at her girl, pulling her hand toward her and kissing her palm. "Thank you, baby, but there are still things we need to talk about, though." She pauses, then asks, "If I ask you a question, will you be completely honest with me when you answer?"

Kennedy frowns slightly. "Of course. What makes you think I wouldn't?"

"Oh, I know you wouldn't lie to me, sweetie," the redhead hastens to reassure her girlfriend. "I just don't want you to avoid the answer because you think it might hurt me. Okay?" Willow gave the brunette her most earnest look, biting her lower lip a little.

"Will, you're scaring me a little here. What do you wanna know?"

The witch takes in her girl's defensive body posture and figures she already has her answer, but she wants to hear the words. Taking a deep breath, she quietly asks, "Kennedy, are you worried that I'll want to break up since Tara's still alive?"

The dark haired girl blushes ever so slightly and looks down.

"That's it, isn't it? That's part of the reason you've been distancing yourself from me today." She pauses, then softly asks, "Am I right?"

Kennedy takes a deep breath, stalling for a moment, then she slowly nods.

Willow gives a little nod of her own. "I thought so." Reaching out, she uses the tips of two fingers to tilt the potential's face up until she can see Kennedy's eyes. "Kennedy, I'm not going to lie to you. A great big part of me is still in love with Tara. I never stopped loving her, not really. You've known that all along, even if neither of us ever said it out loud. On the other hand, just because she took me back once, that doesn't mean she will again. Especially since she doesn't remember everything that made her decide to last time." She pauses and looks down for a moment, then back up and into the chocolate eyes she adores so much.

"But, she might remember, or maybe, if she's around for a little while, she might just decide she can't live without you any longer," Kennedy argues, her expression saddened. "I mean, we haven't been together very long, but I already can't imagine..." She stops and looks to one side for a moment, recomposing herself. "From what the others told me, you guys were together for a little over two years! I - I can't compete with that!"

"It's not about competing!" Willow replies fervently, almost angrily. She closes her eyes for a second, then opens them, continuing in a more even tone. "Kennedy, do you know why Tara left me?"

The younger woman shrugs. "Something to do with magic is all I know. It was kind of a sore subject, so I didn't ask too many questions, y'know?"

Willow takes the brunette's hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I can understand that. None of us really like to talk about that time. And you're partially right. Tara left me for three reasons. The first one was that I was out of control with the magics. She thought I loved doing magic more than I loved her, and in some ways, she was right. I loved being so powerful, being able to do more to help Buffy than read books or surf the net. And that's how I thought of it.

"Suddenly, I wasn't mousy little Willow anymore, too weak to really help, needing to be protected all the time. If I needed it, I knew a spell than would make me stronger than Buffy, I could make fire with a thought, even bring the dead back to life. I loved that feeling and I thought, hey, I've got all this power, might as well use it for what I want. It's mine, after all. But Tara knew better. She knew that magic was a gift, that you have to use it carefully. She knew that the only people who use their power for their every whim are people who become like Amy was. Sorcerers that eventually forget they were once human and see nothing wrong with using people any way they want to."

"Okay, I get that," Kennedy says, though she still looks a little confused. "But, what's all that got to do with you and her splitting up?"

Willow smiles gently. "Patience. Not really a Slayer trait, is it?" She teases, then giggles lightly at Kennedy's grumpy expression. She gives her girl's hand another squeeze. "Tara saw that I was starting to use magic for everything and she gave me a choice; stop acting like I was and learn the proper uses for magic or keep doing what I was and she would break up with me. I told her she meant way more to me than magic and I promised to go a week with no spells to prove it to her."

She pauses, looking down as memories of that encounter wash over her. Kennedy watches the emotions as they flicker across the redhead's face. Softly, she observes, "Since you guys did break up, I guess you didn't make it through the whole week, huh?"

The redhead shook her head, a sad, rueful smile on her face. "Not even a whole day. I cast a spell to make Buffy forget she'd been in heaven, since she was having such a hard time dealing with being alive again, and to make Tara forget we'd ever argued about me using too much magic. It worked, but not the way it was supposed to. Instead of Buff and Tara just forgetting what I thought of as one bad memory, something went wrong and all of us, even Spike, ended with with complete amnesia. Since we didn't know who we were or that we had powers and stuff, we almost got killed by a buncha vampires before Xander broke the spell. As soon as the spell broke, though, Tara knew immediately what had happened. She packed that night and left. She was so angry with me. Not just because I broke my promise, but because I decided she didn't get to be angry with me when I cast that memory spell."

Her eyes staring unfocused at the fence, the redhead continues her monologue as memories roll through her. "You'd think that the love of my life leaving me would wake me up, make me see that she was right, but no. First I just casually turned Amy back into a human, then she returned the favor by introducing me to Rack, a sorcerer who got me addicted to black magick. It took nearly killing Dawnie while I was 'high' from a trip to Rack's before I finally saw what Tara had been trying to tell me for months. That magic was ruling my life and I hadn't even cared 'til then."

She took a deep breath, trying to throw off the feelings of melancholy. She looks up at Kennedy, her expression wryly sardonic, but her green eyes haunted. "So see? I manage to hurt everyone I'm with. I cheated on Oz with Xander, I nearly got my entire family killed because I knew what was best for them, I ripped the energy from your body without a thought and I raped the mind of the first person I ever fell totally in love with, twice!" She clenched her eyes shut, trying hard to stop the tears that threatened. A harsh laugh sounds. "And that doesn't even count the stuff today. Sometimes I think Buffy should've just killed me the night I hurt Dawnie."

Kennedy immediately leaned forward, her free hand sliding up until she's cupping one side of Willow's face. "Hey, stop that! No one gets to beat you up when I'm around and that includes you, hear me?" She releases the redhead's hand so she can hold her face with both hands, gently forcing Willow to look at her. "All that is in the past and, with the possible exception of the energy sucking thingie, which I totally understand now, you're not gonna do any of it again, right?"

Willow looked into Kennedy's eyes and gave her head a quick shake, the first tear finally breaking loose and rolling slowly down her cheek. Kennedy moved her thumb, brushing the droplet away. She forces a slight smile onto her face, discovering it's easier than she thought it'd be. "As for today, I totally understand. Yeah, it hurts to feel like I'm being ignored by the person I'm in lo - That I like so much, but I do get it, so please stop beating yourself up about it, okay? For me?"

Willow gives a deep sniff and brings a brave little smile to her face. To her amazement, she really doesn't have to force it. Kennedy's double slip of the tongue telling her that the younger woman feels the same way as she does makes her heart soar. "Okay. I'll try to stop." She turns her head a little and kisses one of the potential's palms. "But, you have to do something for me in return, okay?"

"Anything. Just name it."

Reaching up, Willow takes both Kennedy's hands in her own, lacing their fingers together as they drop between them. "I want you to stop thinking that I'm just going to toss you aside, just because Tara's alive. Nothing is a sure thing about this. Nothing. Understand?"

Taking a deep breath, the brunette forces a smile onto her face and nods, not really trusting her voice at that moment.

Looking into Kennedy's eyes, Willow sighs as she sees that her girlfriend still believes they're through. That it's just a matter of days until she admits what the brunette just "knows" for certain. A half smile graces her lips. "Kennedy, I'm not just saying what I think you wanna hear and I'm not just trying to make you feel better. Even if Tara tells me in the morning that she remembers everything, she and I still have a lot to talk about. I'm not just gonna say 'Great! Well, Kennedy, thanks for the last few months, but I'm breaking up with you now. Tara's back. You understand,' or something like that."

The redhead fidgets a little. She releases Kennedy's hands and begins to wring her own nervously. "Even if she remembers taking me back, there's still the fact that she left me because she saw how out of control I was getting with my magic. I can't help but think; If she left me once because of the magic, why would she want me back now, since I'm nothing but magic in a Willow wrapper?" She looks down, sadness creeping back into her eyes.

Kennedy leans forward, sliding a hand up along Willow's cheek. "Hey! That was different, remember?" The brunette can't quite believe she's doing what she's doing, but she can't stand anyone hurting Willow, even if it's the witch herself. "You said yourself how out of control you were then. I've watched you the whole time I've been here, that we've been together. You're nothing but control now." She smirks and teases, "Sometimes a little too controlled, if you know what I mean!"

Willow laughs a little, almost against her will at the teen's hint. "You say that like it's a bad thing," she teases back, then her face clears and the sad look returns. "Remember what happen the last time I let my control slip a little? I turned into Warren and almost shot you! I have to be in control now, Kennedy. I have to!"

The potential gently tipped Willow's head up until she could see her girl's eyes, though the redhead refused to look at her. "Hey! That was Amy, not you! You couldn't do that and we both know it."

Willow starts to protests, but the brunette waves it aside. "Yeah, I know, Amy's spell only took your guilt over kissing me and used it, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have bought a gun and threatened to shoot me if it hadn't been for her. I mean, I know we still would've had to talk about you feeling like dating me was 'betraying' Tara, but I'm fairly sure that the toughest thing you'd have done to me without Amy's spell was making me sleep somewhere else in the house!"

A damp gurgle of amusement bubbles up from the witch as she smiles at the potential's words. "The basement for sure. You'd have had to sleep with Spike!"

Kennedy grimaces playfully. "Okay, I was wrong. Think I'd rather face the gun again!" She winks to show she's not serious.

For a split second, Willow looks shocked, then her expression alters to amused annoyance. "Just for that, missy, you just might be sleeping in the basement tonight!" Her voice is playful growl as she fights to not smile, finally losing the battle. Kennedy smiles in return, raising an eyebrow in silent question.

"Okay, okay. I admit it. You have a point about the magic, but there's another reason. A really good one, I think."

Willow pauses and waits so long, Kennedy gets a little impatient. "Okay, I'll bite. What reason?"

The redhead takes a deep breath, then says slowly, the faintest hint of a smile coming onto her face. "The other reason she might not want me back is when she finds out about me and you." She pauses and looks down, suddenly unable to look the potential in the eyes any longer. "When she finds out I'm as in love with you as I am with her."

For a moment, Kennedy just nods, not having really heard the witch's words. Then the brunette registers what Willow said and her eyes open wide. A warm feeling starts in her chest, despite her thinking she must have heard wrong. "You... you love me?" She whispers.

Willow smiles happily, lovingly. "Yeah, I do. I figured it out today, just before the crazy started, in fact. Just before you came in, I was thinking about you, daydreaming really, and it just hit me that I'm in love with you, and that I have been for a while now."

Willow locks eyes with her girlfriend, looking deep into her chocolate eyes, cupping her face with a soft palm. She smiles when she feels the younger woman lean into her touch. "All this is probably gonna get crazier, with Tara and the First and Buffy's training and everything, but I want you to remember one thing, okay? You can do that, right?"

Kennedy nods without thought, her own hand coming up to cover Willow's. "Anything for you."

The redhead smiles at that, realizing that she'd do anything for Kennedy as well. "I want you to remember this; I love you, Kennedy Wilson. I think I started falling for you when you teased me that first night." She suddenly pouted, but her eyes were shining with merriment. "And I do not snore!"

Kennedy broke up at that, laughing out loud. "Yes, you do," she argued, grinning wickedly at the same time. "But it's okay. It's very soft and really cute, so I don't really mind!"

Willow playfully scowled at her girl, sticking her tongue out at her. Her playful mood dimmed a bit after a minute or so. She turned serious eyes on Kennedy once more. "Okay, I need to ask you to do something, but if you don't want to, it's okay. It's kinda unfair, but I think it needs to be done." She stopped, taking a deep breath. "I want you to come with me to the hospital tomorrow so I can introduce you to Tara. So I can explain things to her too. I won't ask you to stay long, cause I don't think I'd want to if it was the other way around, but..."

Kennedy reached up and placed two fingers on Willow's lips, halting the babbling flow of words. "Red, it's okay. I get it and I don't really mind. From what I've heard from your friends, I'm pretty sure I'll like her." Willow gave her a disbelieving look, raising one eyebrow in a classic silent statement of, 'Oh really?'

Kennedy grinned lopsidedly and colored a little. "Okay, I can promise I don't hate her, or even want to." She looked up at the redheaded witch with a crooked smile. "Which is weird, really, considering how territorial and possessive Slayers are. Me included, usually," she admits with a shrug, dismissing the seeming incongruity. She stopped, then nodded, like she was deciding something for herself. "Besides, you're right. She needs to know what's going on, even if she doesn't remember everything from before."

Unshed tears glisten in emerald eyes as Willow gazes wondrously at Kennedy. How had she gotten so lucky? she wonders. Not once, but twice she'd fallen in love with totally amazing people. Women willing to be miserable themselves if she was happy, even as she felt the same way about them. So unlike a lot of the examples of 'true love' she'd seen growing up.

There were her parents, who seemed more like room mates than lovers(though, in some ways, that was okay. Trying to picture her parents having a sex life gave her a serious wiggins). Buffy's parents divorcing when she was fifteen, though that was before they met, of course. Xander's cluelessness, his parents drunken hostility, Oz's infidelity. Though, in truth, they could've gotten passed that, since she'd had that 'fluke' with a suddenly clued in Xander. Oz's bailing, all the girls she'd ever known, except for Buffy, bouncing from boy to boy on a nearly daily basis, treating them as interchangeable. Then again, considering the guys, they probably were interchangeable. A jock was a jock, right?

Refocusing her wandering mind, Willow regards Kennedy through water eyes. "How can you be so understanding? I mean, I'm thankful and I love you even more for it, but how? I treated you so bad today! I completely ignored you, even when I was sitting there with you holding me, I acted like you weren't even there! How can you be so 'It's okay!' with that?"

Kennedy shrugged. "Truthfully? Because I don't have a lot of choice." Willow winces and looks away, the first tear finally breaking free to roll down her cheek. "Hey! I didn't mean it like that," Kennedy hastens to explain, wiping the tear away. "What I meant was... The way I see it, I have two choices. I can either play the spoiled five year old that someone's threatening to steal her favorite toy, or, I can do the mature thing. I can accept that just because I love you, that doesn't mean I get to tell you what to do, but I can hope for the best."

Willow's face instantly blossoms into a bright smile through her tears. "You love me too?"

Kennedy looked at her bemused, her expression simply screaming, 'You couldn't tell?' She smiled, a little lopsidedly. "Well, yeah. For pretty much as long as I've known you."

Willow stared at the potential for a second, her smile widening and brightening until Kennedy witnesses what Buffy and the Scoobies call her 'tongue-grin' for the first time. The Scoobs know when Willow smiles like that, she's at her happiest.

Kennedy barely has time to brace herself before her arms are full of giddy redhead as Willow showers her face with kisses, ending with a deep, passionate one on the Slayer to be's lips. Kennedy is surprised for a second, then catches up, returning the witch's kiss with interest, her lips moving in time with Willow's.

A timeless moment later, the lovers both pull away, their breathing labored, but both still smiling. They stare into each others eyes, their thought running along similar lines, [She loves me!] Kennedy, conversely, is the first to have an image of Tara start to counter the happier thought and her smile dims.

{Okay, Kennedy, time to slow back down,] the rational part of her mind thinks. [Yeah, Red says she loves me, but she also said she loves her. We know what our luck is like, so Tara should remember everything or just plain forgive her in a few days, then Willow'll pick her and we'll be screwed. Like always.]

[You don't know that,] the rest of the brunette argued back. [Even if she remembers or wants Will back, Red says she loves me too, just as much, so maybe I'll be the one who gets picked.]

[Yeah, right. Cause things always work out our way. Hey, look, we have the loving parents, the Watcher that's still alive and no one really wants to kill us, right?]

Shaking her head, the potential intentionally ignores the caustic ramblings of her own mind. Smiling again, she pulls a little further away, releasing Willow. The witch doesn't move back to the other side of the blanket where she was, instead sitting beside the brunette, making sure that their knees lightly touch.

Reaching up and gently brushing a stray lock of hair off of Willow's forehead, Kennedy maintains her smile and recaps. "So, tomorrow morning, you and me, and probably all your friends troop down to the hospital, I run everyone out for a few minutes and you intro me to Tara, right?"

Willow nodded and smiled softly, though it still looked troubled to Kennedy. "Yeah, that's pretty much it." The redhead looked pensive for a moment, then added thoughtfully, "From what I remember from biology and the medical books I've read, that's probably the plan for the next couple months, too. Well, without the repeated introductions," she said, blushing a little.

The potential looked at her, somewhat confused. "Why for the next couple months?" Then her face cleared and she answered her own question. "Right. Muscle tone. She's been just lying there, so her muscles are pretty much useless now, right?"

"Yeah," Willow nodded. "If you're not a Slayer, getting your muscles back in shape after that long of a coma can take nearly a year. Faith managed to be back to pretty much normal in a day or so, but, like I said; Slayer." She shrugged.

The Slayer to be cocked her head and looked curious. "Faith?"

"Huh? Oh, right, you wouldn't know. You've heard that Buffy's died a couple times, right?" Kennedy nodded. "Well, the first time, another Slayer was called. Kendra. She was killed by a crazy vampire and Faith was called. She went nuts, killed a couple humans and turned kinda evil. Buffy stopped her and Faith ended up in a coma. When she came out, she did the body swap thing with Buffy, Tara and I undid that, then she went to LA, then to jail. She's been there since, but from everything we hear, she's doing better now. Not so crazy anyway."

"Huh." Kennedy appeared thoughtful as she absorbed what her girl had told her. She looked up at Willow again as a thought occurred to her. "So, where's the Slayer from when Buffy died the second time?"

The redhead shook her head. "There wasn't one. We did some research after her funeral and found out the Slayer line runs through Faith now. She'd have to die to call another Slayer."

Kennedy slowly nodded. "I get it." She took a deep breath, then frowned as her stomach rumbled unhappily. "Well, as interesting as this little side trip was, maybe we should finish our picnic and head inside. You want to leave for the hospital as early as possible, right?"

"If that's okay," she temporized.

The potential nodded as she started dividing up the food. "Yeah, it's fine. Like I said, I kinda figured that's what you'd wanna do. Here," she handed Willow her plate with a smile. The witch returned the smile and they started to eat.

Everything they'd talked about rumbled about in Kennedy's mind, each thought and concept tumbling over the others as she integrated them into her own thought processes. After several minutes of quiet eating, she stiffened and caught Willow's eye. "Out of curiosity, there aren't many good healing spells, are there?" She asked speculatively.

"No, not really. I mean, there are healing spells, but they're either really low power and don't do much or have worse side effects or really bad conditions to make them work at all," she explains.

"So, there's nothing you can do to speed up someone healing?"

Well, "Willow replied slowly. "I do know this meditation technique that draws power from the Earth to kinda supercharge your own healing process. Not as fast as a Slayer, but quicker, anyway. Why?" She gave Kennedy a wondering look. "You're obviously thinking about Tara, but she won't want me to do magic on her. Why do you want me to?"

"It's pretty simple, Red. I mean, the First probably knows that Tara's not dead, since it can only look like people who've died." She reaches out and take one of Willow's hands. "I was thinking, if you could help her muscles heal faster, she could leave the hospital and stay here to finish recovering."

"Yeah, I think the meditation thing I mentioned would work for that, but, what's wrong with the hospital?"

Kennedy had to smile at the adorable confused look on Willow's face, but it quickly faded. "Baby, think about. The First might know she's not dead, but what it may not know is that she's awake now and you know it. As soon as it finds that out, any bets he'll try to have her killed to hurt you? I mean, you told me what it said to you that first time you met it, so it knows what she means to you. What better way to take you out of the fight?"

Willow's eyes opened as wide as they could as Kennedy's words sank in. "Tara," she whispered, then tried to surge to her feet.

"No, Willow!" The brunette pulled her back down to the blanket. "I'm sure it'll be okay until tomorrow morning, but you should try to get her to let you do your thing as quick as possible. That way, she can come here and Buffy and the rest of us can protect her until she can defend herself. Everyone's said she was a kick ass wicca before, so she'll be fine really quick!"

The witch stopped struggling and looked at her girlfriend with a lost, but hopeful countenance. "Are you sure it'll be okay 'til morning?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I can't think of a way for the First to find out about her tonight, so it'll be fine." She smiles, but sees that Willow remains far from convinced. "You wanna go call the hospital and ask them to check on her a buncha times tonight?"

Willow bit her lower lip, then nodded, her eyes worried. Kennedy smiled reassuringly at her and stood, extending a hand to help the redhead to her own feet. Once she was standing as well, the brunette rotated her hand, interlacing their fingers before leading the way to the back door.

She wasn't at all sure what tomorrow would bring, but right now, she knew she loved Willow and Willow said she loved her, and that she could deny the redhead nothing if it would make her happy. She would worry about what Tara meant to their relationship later. For tonight, she and Willow were together and that was enough.


Author's Note: Geez, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. I had never abondoned any of my stories, I just had the **WORST** case of writer's block. Seems to be better now and chapter 6 is mostly plotted in my head. Just gotta type it.

As always, much, much thanks to Willowfan(Again, the one I know) for idea bouncing, proofreading and beta-ing. Not sure what I'd do without'cha B! :)

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