Going back to the begining.: Can you say drama?
by Peaches Girl
Chapter 7

Rome

Buffy was standing at her bedroom door. The large brass handle was firmly in her grasp. She was afraid to turn around and look at Willow. She may give in and let her plea her case and that would be of the bad.

She was settled in her mind that things had been done and could not be undone. Move on, that’s what she wanted. There was a reason she moved them to Rome. She wanted to be a far away from the pain in her life as possible. She no longer had the burden of being the only chosen one anymore and it was time she began to live that semi-normal life she had always hoped for.

She wanted to forget the pain and loss she had endured and put it all in the back of her mind and lock it away. That is why when Willow called she avoided her at all costs. Things were not working out the way she had planned. She wanted to begin a new life here in Rome. Get a job, find a nice guy to date, and slay a few demons in her spare time but no first Angel had to show up and now Willow. What the hell was going on? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone?

They all knew that Buffy was different when she came back this last time. She herself knew that from the beginning. She was missing something, something that was very important to her. Being here back on earth with all the responsibilities of the world on her shoulders again was more than she felt she could bear. It took her a long time to get any kind of feeling back. Feelings that people take for granted Buffy felt she left behind her in that dirt plot in Sunnydale.

She had a hard time getting past the fact that she was in heaven, finished, and now that was gone. She was denied her rest, her peace, and nothing felt right to her for the longest time. Willow being there in her house just brought all those memories back to the surface in an instant. She was again reminded of everything she had lost. And she had lost so much. When she first came back there was an empty feeling like her soul cried out for something that just wasn’t there. It wasn’t until Angel called her and she went to meet him did she finally realize what that was. He was her soul mate, her one true love, and he held her heart and soul. Without him she had never been the same. She became cold and unfeeling to the ones who loved her. The only thing that made her feel like she could deal with the loss of her love was turning over to her dark half. She gave into her slayer and let her take over. She built a barrier around herself and had become even more distant and cold and never let anyone in. She needed to hide the pain and the only way to do that is shut down her emotions and let the Slayer take over.

Willow was getting nervous. She had hoped that if she just stood in front of her friend that she would let her talk and they could settle everything, finally. The only problem with that scenario is that Buffy wouldn’t even look at her. The entire conversation had taken place with Buffy’s back turned to her as if she didn’t look at her then she wouldn’t really be there.

Willow need to act fast before Buffy slipped away from her and she never got the chance to do this again. With a new determination she stepped closer to Buffy and put her hand on Buffy’s arm.

“Buffy please, just give me a few minutes to explain.” You could hear the plea in Willow voice and her tears were streaming down her face.

The instant Willow touched Buffy’s arm her resolve began to crumble. She started to feel bad for shutting her friends out and she turned to look at the red head. She released the door handle and slowly turned to face Willow. The moment their eyes met she knew there was no way she could run and hide anymore. She reached her hand up and smoothed away some tears before grabbing Willow into a hug.

“Um Buffy, air becoming an issue.” Willow breathed out barely.

“What, oh sorry.” She released her friend and stood back. “Let’s go into my room it’s a little more private.”

Dawn watched the whole scene from the living room. She was worried when Buffy wouldn’t look at Willow and then she began to shout. She thought that was it but when Willow got closer she saw her sister turn and hug her best friend. Buffy could hear Dawn as they entered her bedroom shout ‘Yes’.

Buffy escorted Willow to a chair across from her as she sat down at the end of her bed. Willow was still sobbing and snorting as she sat down and Buffy handed her a box of tissues that she gladly accepted.

Buffy sat patiently waiting for Willow to calm down before she began to ask questions. She knew that Willow was here for more than just making up and Buffy was eager to hear what that something was.

Willow blew her nose a few times and tried to dry her tears as best she could but every time she tried to look at Buffy again she felt the salty wetness begin again. She thought to herself, ‘well now is good a time as any’.

“Buffy first I want to say how sorry I am for what happened in Sunnydale. We all turned on you in the heat of the moment and it wasn’t right. I knew it wasn’t right but I did it anyway. I can’t tell you how sorry I really am. I never meant to do anything to hurt you and I know that I did. I just hope that one day I will be able to make it up to you.” Willow had said that so fast that Buffy wasn’t sure if she caught the whole thing but she got the gist of what she wanted to say.

Willow took a much needed deep breath and continued. “You didn’t deserve to be cast aside like you were. I think that I was just so freaked that we almost lost Xander that I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t want to lose you or Dawn or……or……I think you know what I’m trying to say. That’s no excuse, I know that. I just wanted to try and explain why I went along with it. I truly am sorry Buffy, I hope you believe me.”

Buffy looked at her friend with a new curiosity. She was freaked about Xander too but she reacted in a totally different way. When Glory came after Dawn, she took her family and ran. She knew that she couldn’t beat the God so she took off. She now saw why Willow and the others acted like they did. It was a new perspective and she could see how they might react that way. That however didn’t resolve her feeling of betrayal.

“I think I kind of understand why it went down that way. It doesn’t make it feel any better, I guess I just get why you did it. You all betrayed me; you lost faith in my judgment and that hurt more than anything else. You all left me swinging in the breeze and I almost lost my way. If it hadn’t been for…….Spike.” Buffy chose that moment to burst into tears. Up until she said Spike’s name she had a cold stern look on her face and Willow cringed at every syllable that she spoke. The minute Buffy began to cry Willow jumped up from her chair and grabbed her into a tight embrace. Buffy rested her head on Willow’s shoulder and cried hard for several minutes. When she calmed down enough she pulled back from her friend and gave her a smile.

“I really missed this Will. I miss my best friend.” Buffy then hugged Willow tighter. “I forgive you, ok. I forgive you Will.”

Willow began to openly weep again herself and they both stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Willow was now crying not only because her friend had forgiven her so easily but because after what else she needed to tell her, she may not forgive her again.

It was finally quiet in the room and after several minutes of building courage Willow delved into the next part of her conversation. She sat back on the bed and encouraged Buffy to do the same. She squared her shoulders and pulled up the determination that was deep down.

“I told you earlier that there were other things, remember? Things you need to know.” Willow looked Buffy in the eye. “I need to tell you about my trip to LA, you know when I brought Faith back.”

Buffy nodded her agreement. “And you went to LA when Wes called to bring Faith back to help us, right?” Buffy said as more of a question than an answer.

“Yes but also no. Yes I brought Faith back with me but that wasn’t why I went. Wesley called me to help him with Angel. They were fighting this beast that no one knew anything about except for Angelus. Those brain trusts decided to find a shaman to extract Angel’s soul so they could talk to Angelus.” Buffy cringed at her words, “What, were they nuts. What happened?”

“Yea, I think they were nuts. Angel’s soul was put into a glass container and then it was stolen. They couldn’t find it anywhere. They called me as a last resort hoping that I could call his soul from where ever it was and put it back into him. It took me a while but I was able to break the container and release his soul back to the ether.” Willow took a few deep breaths again.

Buffy could tell that her story was far from over. She had that look that she got when she was about to tell her something bad. “So you put his soul back. I know he got it back I have seen him since then. I would have known if it was Angelus and not Angel.”

Willow nodded her agreement. “There’s more. I had to fight a demon, well, I think it was a demon it could have been something else it spoke with a stupid icky voice like anyone would be scared of that….please...”

“Willow!” Buffy said somewhat loud then giggled. There was the Willow she once knew coming out.

“Sorry, I ramble, you know me.” She smiled and moved on. “Anyway, it tried to scare me away. I think it was holding the container that held Angel’s soul. But it was no match for Wicca Girl. After I knew that the container was broken and his soul was free I went to work on the restoration spell.”

“You mean the curse.” Buffy said to her friend. Every time she had to say that out loud she felt deep despair flowing thru her veins.

“Not exactly, I mean….um….it was more a restoration than a curse.” Willow said faintly.

“Wait I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. Did you give him his soul back or what?” Buffy was getting confused and Willow wanted to tell her but she wasn’t sure how Buffy was going to react.

“No I mean yes, I mean….he has his soul Buffy but he’s not cursed with it…..not any more.” Willow waited for Buffy’s reaction. She didn’t know if she should try to explain more or get up and run from the room. The look in her eyes was one of confusion and freight and it made Willow scared.

“What are you trying to tell me Willow? He doesn’t have a curse anymore? He just has a soul and that’s it? What…..how…..does he know this?”

“Not really. I wanted to tell him but I thought it would be better coming from you. I learned a lot from the women in the coven when I was away. They showed me how to control my magic, how to improve my spells; use the natural things around me to do it. I knew when I was driving down there that I needed to re-ensoul him but I wanted to make it permanent. It took me the entire drive down and I really didn’t have it all until I was there doing it. It kind of just came to me. It was like this is how it should be done and I did it. I wanted to tell you sooner but there was so much going on with the First. I never got the chance. Then it was over and you were gone. I tried to call you, to tell you everything but you wouldn’t talk to me. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I’m sorry for everything Buffy.” Willow was again beginning to cry. Buffy was stone faced, showing nothing but a blank slate and that bothered Willow more than anything. What was she thinking?

Just then Buffy began to laugh. Slow and quiet at first then louder and harder. She was laughing but Willow could see the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Do you think our lives could be filled with more DRAMA?” Buffy emphasized the word.

“I know this is a lot to take in Buffy.” Willow said sadly.

“But” Buffy retorted loudly. “But that’s not the only thing I needed to tell you about.” Willow said trying to sound brave.

“And as if I thought this day couldn’t get any stranger. What now, a new apocalypse?” Buffy said with distain.

Willow cocked her head to the side and gave Buffy the strangest look. Buffy knew the instant she said it that that was exactly what Willow was going to tell her. “Oh great, just want I wanted for Christmas. Can’t Faith take this one? I have enough to deal with getting Dawn off to college next year. Plus, you just laid the mother of all news flashes on me today. It’s a lot to take in and someone needs to tell Angel the truth.” Buffy hopped off the bed and began to pace the floor.

“Thing is Buff, this prophecy has you and Angel in it. I think we may need you both for this one. I was hoping that you would come back to London with me to talk to Giles about it.”


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