Second Chance: 1
by Spikes Queen
Spike followed Buffy upstairs after she unlocked him. In the kitchen, he leaned against the counter and sighed.

“Spike?” Buffy asked.

Spike closed his eyes at her voice. “Yeah?”

“Look at me,” Buffy said.

Spike turned his head and gazed at her.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“I’m fine,” Spike said.

“You’re gunna have to tell me eventually,” Buffy said.

Spike pushed himself off the counter. “Not this time Buffy. This is something I prefer you didn’t know,” Spike said.

Buffy walked over the him and gently rested her hand on his face. “Please? I wanna know what’s happening to you,” she said, softly.

“Buffy,” he whimpered. “Please don’t. You really don’t wanna know and I don’t think I can talk about it.”

Buffy slid her hand down his arm and to his fingers. “Come on,” she said, gently pulling him upstairs.

Spike allowed Buffy to lead him to her room. “Buffy?”

Buffy sat Spike on her bed and she sat next to him. “Spike, today as so hard for me. I promised myself I wasn’t gunna lock you up again. I locked you up today and I need to know if I was right. Something happened to you ‘cause the Spike I know and trust wouldn’t have done what you did today. That thing did something to you and you weren’t Spike anymore,” she said.

Spike stood up and paced in front of her. He stopped and looked at her. “My mom was very ill and there was no cure for her at the time. After Dru turned me into a vampire, I turned my mother,” he said, softly.

“Why would you do something like that?” Buffy asked, emoting choking her voice.

“’Cause I wanted to be with her forever. I loved her so much and I couldn’t cure her. When I turned her, I let lose a demon and I couldn’t let it stay like that. So I dusted her. When you’re mom died I felt that pain all over again,” Spike said, tears in his eyes.

Buffy stood up and went over to him. “Is that why the song triggers you?”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess,” he said, and wiped his tears.

Buffy took his hand again and pulled him to her bed.

She sat with her back against the headboard and cradled Spike in her arms.

Spike tentatively rested his head over heart and curled into a little ball.

Buffy threaded her fingers in her hair and continued to run her fingers through his hair. She felt drops on her t-shirt and knew he was crying. She pulled him closer to her. “Shhh,” she soothed. “It’s okay.”

Spike buried his face in her chest as his tears increased down his face.

Buffy lulled him into sleep shortly after that.

When the sun set Giles went up to Buffy’s room.

“Buffy, I was wondering…” Giles paused when he saw Spike asleep in Buffy’s arms.

Buffy stirred a moment later and her eyes fluttered open. “Giles,” she said.

Giles crossed his arms. “We need to talk,” he said.

“Can it wait?” Buffy asked.

“Afraid not,” Giles said.

Buffy looked down at Spike and reluctantly laid him on his back.

Spike shuddered as Buffy got out of bed and whimpered.

Buffy winced and went into the hall with Giles. “What’s up?”

“We have a problem,” Giles said. “Its not safe for you to let Spike stay here. He’s a liability and neither one of you wants to realize it.”

“I want him here and I need him here. He was gunna leave that night when I came home from my date with Robin. I told him not to,” Buffy said.

“We need to go patrolling and talk about this,” Giles said. “If it makes you feel better Spike can stay with Robin so that the girls are safe.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said.

“Why?” Giles asked.

“I wanna keep my eye on Spike. He’s in no condition to be baby sat by Robin. He needs me and I cant abandon him. If we go patrolling, Spike has to go also,” she said.

Giles crossed his arms. “I hope you know what you’re doing because when you have to kill him hopefully you wont hesitate,” Giles said.

“Spike wouldn’t hurt me. If he does, he’d probably kill himself before I got a chance to. But if I have to I will and he’ll let me. He’s not a danger anymore,” Buffy said.

“You’re in love with him,” Giles said, softly.

Buffy looked at Spike curled up on her bed. “I don’t know if I am. What we have is so much more then friendship but I don’t know if it’s love,” she said.

“He loves you,” Giles said.

“I know. He’s proven himself so many times and I don’t see him as a demon anymore. I see the man in him and I like him,” she said.

“Is it wise to start a relationship with him again?” Giles asked.

“I don’t know if I’m gunna. We’ve had so much heartache, I don’t think we could handle it again,” Buffy said. “I’m gunna wake him then we’ll go
patrolling.”

Spike was more or less sleeping peacefully with his head under her pillows.

Buffy smiled and sat next to him. She ran her fingers over his back gently. “Spike?”

Spike grumbled something unintelligent and Buffy chuckled softly. “Wake up sleepy head,” she said.

Spike just growled but didn’t stir.

Buffy slid her hand under his shirt to his most ticklish spot and dragged her fingernail across it lightly.

Spike flew out of bed and he was vamped out.

Buffy laughed and tears were coming down her face.

Spike’s normal planes appeared. “That’s not fair,” he said, stalking closer to her.

Buffy was laying on her bed holding her sides.

Spike pounced on her and began tickling her.

“Spike!” Buffy screaming, trying to fend him off.

Buffy began tickling him and they fell on to the floor but Spike still gained to upper hand.

“Alright! I give up!” Buffy yelled.

Spikes stopped tickling her and rested his hands on her ribs. Neither of them seemed to care that he was sitting on her hips. “Why’d you do that?” He asked.

“I was trying to wake you up to go patrol but you wouldn’t,” Buffy said, pouting.

Spike’s eyes melted and he go off her. “Come on,” he said, offering his hand.

Buffy slid her hand into his and helped her up. “I haven’t laughed like that in a while,” she said.

Spike smiled. “You want me to patrol?”

“Yes,” Buffy said. “I don’t wanna take any chances and I don’t wanna lock you up so lets go.”

Spike followed Buffy downstairs and they grabbed their coats before heading out on patrol.

“You seemed pretty tired today,” Buffy said, avoiding a vampires foot.

“This afternoon wore me out and I was comfy,” Spike said, staking his vampire.

“I know. You can…sleep there….if you want,” Buffy said, punching her vampire.

Spike raised an eyebrow.

“Actually I’d rather not,” Spike said, staking another vampire.

“Why not?” Buffy asked, kicking her vampire in the head.

“’Cause I need to stay in the basement,” Spike said, punching his vampire.

Buffy landed a solid kick the vampires chest. “Spike, we’d both feel better if you slept with me
with your arms wrapped around me,.” she said, thrusting her stake into the vampire’s chest.

“Buffy, I thought we were gunna be friends?” Spike asked, as a vampire punched him in the nose.

“And we are but we’re more then that,” Buffy said, staking the last of the vampires.

“We are?” Spike asked, getting off the ground.

“Yes. You fell asleep in my arms so I’d think so,” Buffy said.

Spike swallowed as he looked at her. “Buffy, I love you to death but I kinda like things the way they are,” he said, softly.

Buffy put her hands on her hips. “Spike, every time I step into the room, I see your eyes light up. You make me laugh, you make me cry, and you make me feel things that are scary. The night that Riley left, Xander told me if I could love Riley to run. He meant scary, messy love. I knew I couldn’t love Riley that’s why I didn’t make it,” she said, walking towards him.

“Why are you telling me this?” Spike whispered.

“Because what’s between us is scary and messy and dangerous and wild.” Her hands went to his face. “Everything that you are is everything that I need. I’m happier with you then when I was in heaven. You match me in everything which makes us good sparring partners. You don’t crowd me but you know when I need someone. I need you and I don’t think I could live without you,” she whispered.

“But I cant start something with you if you’re gunna have second thoughts. I cant have you walk out on me again, Buffy,” Spike said, his voice cracking.

Buffy’s hands slid around the back of his neck. “I’ve given you a second chance Spike. Can you give me one?” She asked.

Spike relaxed slightly and rested his hands on her hips. “Yeah, I can do that,” he said.

Buffy smiled. “Spike, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell you that I love you but I care about you a lot,” she said.

Spike pulled Buffy into a hug. “Its okay. You’ve already given more then I could ever ask for,” he said, kissing her hair.

Buffy nuzzled him affectionately. “So you’ll sleep in my bed tonight?” She whispered.

“If you want,” Spike said.

Buffy pulled away. “I want,” she said and she kissed him softly.



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