Is it Worth it?: Is it Worth it?
by Gabe
I'm am purely doing this for entertainment value, so puh-leeze don not sue me! All characters and plots lines are owned by Joss and Mutant Productions. Also, a quick warning: This fanfic does discuss suicide, and takes place right after the "Becoming" episodes.
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Buffy looked over the pier, the wind whipping hair around her hair. She glanced at the clear, star-filled night sky before returning her gaze to the black sea water. She futilely brushed at hot tears coursing down her cheeks. The tears were partially there from the strong sea wind, but mostly from her heart slowly being ripped to shreds.
She thought that she could handle killing Angel. And she could, if had Angelus she had killed. But it wasn't. It was Angel. Her Angel. The Angel that "Made her want to die".
Buffy's emotions were on overload. She couldn't handle them anymore. She had called the Library, but no one was there. No one was ever there for her anymore.
Buffy stared at the cold, black, heartless water, and finally decided upon what she had been debating all night. She took a firm hold of the pier railing and threw her right leg over.
"BUFFY!!! WAIT!!!"
Buffy half turned her body, the tears still coming, and stared at the person running down the pier in disbelief.
"Buffy, do-don't do th-this." Xander told her as he tried to catch his breath.
"Xander! What the hell are you doing here!?!" Buffy cried.
"Well, let's see. you left a wonderful message at the Library, "I'm leaping off a pier, Have a nice life." Why do you think I came?" Xander replied, looked up at her.
Buffy turned back to face the ocean again. "Go away Xander. You're not going to stop me from jumping."
"Fine then. You leap, I follow. And I'll pull you out kicking and screaming if I have to, but I'm not going to just stand back and let you kill yourself." Xander informed her.
"Damnit Xander!!! Leave me alone!!!" Buffy screamed at him. "You have no idea what I'm going through!!!"
"And I'll be the first one to agree with you on that. I'm not going to become a Slayer any time soon, and I doubt I'll ever have to kill someone I love." Xander cut in. "But that doesn't mean I can't try to stop you. Buffy, you can't do this."
"The hell I can't." Buffy said coldly, throwing her other leg over the pier railing. Xander looked as though he was about to grab her, and try to pull her off, but he quickly thought better of it, and kept his distance.
Both were quiet a moment before Xander broke the silence once again. "Do you want to die?" He asked bluntly.
"Excuse me? Xander, what kind of question is that!?! I'm about to jump off the pier!" Buffy cried.
"That's not what I asked." Xander replied. "I have no doubt that you're prepared to kill yourself, but do you really want to die???"
Buffy looked slightly confused. "Xander, I . . ."
"Wait, Buffy. Just hear me out before answering." Xander cut in again, and waited to see if she would protest. She didn't.
"Okay Harris, you got your one chance. Make it worth while." Xander thought to himself before he began.
"Look Buffy, I was never that big on the whole "Destiny" Idea before I met you, but now I am. And one thing I really believe is that I didn't bring you back from the hand of Death one year ago just so you could leap off a pier.
"Buffy, there is so much more for you here, on this earth. How can you say you're ready to leave it?"
"There's is nothing for me here! That's how!" Buffy broke in.
"Oh, the hell there isn't!" Xander yelled. "Are you saying that Willow and I are nothing!? And what about Giles and your Mother, huh!?! I know that you lost someone you loved, and that the world is falling apart at your feet, but guess what? You have people to help pick up the pieces. You have people here that love you. Are you really ready to throw that all away? Can you really take the easy way out like this???"
Buffy threw both legs back onto the pier, and stalked over to Xander, looking furious through her tears. "You think suicide is the easy way out!??!?!!"
"In your case, yes, I do." Xander replied calmly.
"You think you're being so God damn philosophical and deep and serious, but you're not Xander!!!!"
"It got you off the ledge, didn't it?"
"You Son Of a Bitch!!!" Buffy cried as she stormed the pier. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!"
Xander sighed, and felt like crying. "If it saved you're life, it's worth it." He whispered. He then walked over to the pier railing and stared at the star filled sky. "It was worth it."
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