The Xander Gander: November 20th, 1999
by slayerfest
I got a job as a… digging… person! I dig! I’m a digger!
Ahem.


I totally kicked Harmony’s ass tonight. Oh yeah.
Though I probably wouldn’t have had to if Giles hadn’t hit me with my binoculars and “suggested” we split up. I have a bruise on the back of my head now. It’s not really visible, but Harmony hit it when she… um… missed hitting me in the face. Yeah. She’s that bad at fighting. I sent her running back to her beloved Spike.

Who is also around these days, apparently. I thought he’d lost his dignity (again) after Buffy kicked his ass (again). So I pulled her out of a very intense staring contest with some dim-witted frat guy. I probably saved her. Probably from something terrible. I’ll bet he was a vampire. Some former army vampire. I could tell by the haircut he was former army. That bastard.

But then Spike went after Willow, which was less fun.
But apparently failed at his several attempts at biting her, which is downright hilarious. Willow said he had “trouble performing”.

I’m so glad the whole Oz thing didn’t take away her sense of humour. Though, she didn’t seem to find it all that funny. Neither did Buffy. Or maybe she did. I could tell because of the tears streaming down her face attributed to the strange cloud in the hallway. Apparently she had it out with some crazy-ass guys. I bet they were the commandos Buffy keeps running into. Maybe Mr. Former-Army-Vampire was one of those guys. Yeah. I bet.

I’m talking too much. I’m just so stoked about being a… a digger.
I’ll just go away now.

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