A New Hero: The Magic of Television
by Angel_Forever
"God is there anything in this fridge other then blood?" grumbled Robby as she searched for food.

"Nope, we always order take out."

"If you were trying to impress me with your super speed it didn't work."

"How come?"

"Cause I can do it too," she was suddenly behind him.

"I see."

"So did pops leave us any money or are we broke?"

"I think he left us some in the office, there's a safe behind the picture."

"Lead the way."

They got the money out of the safe and then attmepted to agree on the same kind of food.

"McDonalds? Dude you really need to get out more."

"Oh and you have a better idea?"

"Well for starters real food. Ever heard of Safeway?"

"No."

"That's where you buy food like vegetables and fruit and crackers and cheese and milk and candy."

"Candy?"

"You do know what candy is right?"

"Of course I know what candy is I live with Fred Burkle. Most of the time."

"Okay, candy it is then."

"For breakfast?"

"Daddy's not here to tell you it's bad for you. Please tell me you want to take advantage of that."

"Never thought about it."

"Well start thinking, come on."

They walked to the nearest grocery store and bought all the candy they could carry. Robby also bought chips, pop, cookies and plenty of those pastries that are 99% chemicals.

'Someone has got to turn this kid into a human teenager,' she thought.

"So why does everyone eat all this even though it's bad for you?" asked Connor on the way back to the hotel.

"Because it tastes good. It's like my friend used to say: Candy is good for you belly, but not good for your insides."

Connor snickered at the remark.

"Hey that was a laugh, an actual laugh."

"I can laugh."

"But you don't. You never smile either. Like father like son I guess."

"I'm not like...forget it."

"You don't like your dad?"

"I said forget it."

"Okay. Is there a T.V. at the hotel?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Connor, prepare to enter a world of re-runs and soap operas that make no sense."

They returned to the hotel and carried the T.V. from Fred and Gunn's room down to the lobby.

"So what's the point of this?" asked Connor.

"To turn into a zomby. Now pay attention. The stuff with the moving pictures is called cartoons. Ususally made for little kids, but there are exceptions."

"Like what?"

"The Simpsons. Now the stuff with real people can be a lot of different things. Most of the time it's a story and people act it out, I'll explain when you find somthing that interests you, but there are reality shows."

"What are those?"

"When people sign a contract that lets a camera follow them around and record everything they do and say and let millions of people see it on international television."

"Why would they want that?"

"Because one pay check is better then what most people make in a life time."

Robby controled and stopped when ever Connor wanted to know about a program.

"So Tina is John's sister and is pregnant with Arthur's baby who is really her best friend Cassy's boyfriend, even though she's a lesbian?"

"No, Tina is pregnant with John's baby and he is Arthur's brother who is two timing Cassy with Angelica, but he doesn't know that both of them are lesbians and cheating on him with each other."

"I don't get it."

"It's a Soap Opera, no one gets it."



"Why doesn't he want his sister in his lab?"

"Because she always busts his inventions."

"And Dextor's parents have no idea there's a huge lad in their house?"

"They find out a couple times, but Dextor always wipes their memories."

"So does he have a cold or something?"

"No he always talks like that."

"Interesting."

"Want me to flip?"

"Please!"



"How can a rabbit talk?"

"He's Bugs Bunny, he can do way more then talk."

"But he's a rabbit."

"It's made up, not real."

"And where to a couple of British gophers get all that die-ne-might?"

"Acme."

"Huh?"

"That's where all the stuff in The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show comes from."



"Why she dump him? They're in love! She was running back to him a few hours ago."

"He slept with another women!"

"They were on a break!"

"Dude were you not watching? Don't ever say that to a girl!"

"But what if...?"

"Never!"

"Okay okay."

"You wanna flip?"

"No, I wanna see Joey's new walk."

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just I never would have thought of you as a Friends guys."

There was a marathon so they watched Friends until about six.

"Now what?" asked Robby.

"Not sure, you're the T.V. expert."

"Yeah, but American Idol doesn't start for another hour."

"Channel surf or what ever you called it."

The phone rang and Connor answered it.

"Angel Investigastions, we...Dad."

"How's everything going?"

"Fine. How come you never showed me Friends?"

"Well...I don't know anyone your age really and...uh..."

"Not people friends. The T.V. show."

"Oh...honestly I've never watched."

"Well we are so buying the DVDs."

"Umm sure. How's Robby?"

"Robby? She's great! She took me to a grocery store and we bought food that wasn't take out."

"Good, I've been meaning to do that."

"And we brought the T.V. down to the lobby and she taught me about different stuff to watch."

"Really, like what?"

"Like how soap operas are meant to not be understood and that people actually broad cast their lives on international television."

"Wow, sounds like you're having fun."

"Yeah, she's pretty cool. We're gonna watch American Idol in about an hour."

"What's that?"

"Uhhhhh....not sure hang on," he held his hand over the reciever, but Angel still heard, "Rob, what's American Idol?"

"Paula Abdual, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell travel around America to find a singer. It's a competition to get a seven year record deal. There's auditons and in the end people get to vote."

"Thanks!" he held the phone back to his ear, "it's a competion with judges and people vote for their favorite singer."

"Interesting," he notice that Connor had shorten Robby's name, but decided not to mention it, "Did you guys find the money okay?"

"Yeah we did. What if it runs out though?"

"Well make it last and if you need more I'll give you some."

"So we can't blow it all at once?"

"No."

"Darn, do you know if there's a movie theatre around here?"

"I think there's one a few blocks down, why?"

"We saw a commercial for Pirates of the Caribbian and it looked pretty good."

"You want to go see it?"

"Yeah."

"As in see with her on a date?"

"NO! I mean no. She's just a friend, that's it. That's all, case closed end of story."

"Alright. You like having someone your age there don't you?"

"Yeah, it's cool. She knows what people my age are like when they didn't grow up in Quor-Toth."

"I understand. Well, you two have fun and be careful."

"We will. Bye Dad."

"Bye Connor."

Connor re-joined Robby on the couch, "What are we watching?"

"Queen of the Damned. Vampie movie."

"Is it any good?"

"Yeah, but it's half over so you probably won't understand a thing. We can rent it tomorrow."

"Okay, when are we going to the movie?"

"It starts at nine, so we should leave at about quarter after eight. That should give us enought time to buy popcorn and tickets."

"Okay," he picked up a Bing-Bong, "are these any good?"

"Connor, you're talking about a Bing-Bong. Nature's most beautiful combination of chemicals and sugar. But you have to cover it in chocolate sauce."

"What's in it?" he picked up the box, but she stopped him.

"You don't wanna know."

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