Sweet Surrender: Sweet Surrender
by Patty
I don't own Angel, Buffy, or the song "Sweet Surrender."

Author's notes: This story takes place a few nights after "Lovers Walk." Buffy is thinking about her shattered relationship with Angel while listening to the song "Sweet Surrender" by Sarah McLachlan. Please send any feedback, compliments or flames, to Ftehan@compuserve.com.



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Buffy was sitting in her room, thinking about what had happened between her and Angel. She didn’t mean to think about it, that’s just where her mind happened to wander. Absently, she turned on the radio.

It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I’ve left behind me
Is a cold room

Nothing meant much anymore. She had lost him. And it was all her fault this time. She couldn’t have what she wanted, so she discontinued any kind of relationship they could have had. As for the life behind her, it seemed better than her life now. Her life was a “cold room,” so to speak.

I’ve crossed the last line
From where I can’t return
Where every step I took in faith
Betrayed me
And led me from my home

She had crossed the line. She pushed him away from her, and there was no way he would take her back, even as a friend. They could’ve to be friends. < I could have tried harder, > she thought. At the time, it seemed like it was the best thing to do. She had put her faith in that decision. Now she would give anything to take it back.

Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

You take me in
No questions asked
You strip away the ugliness
That surrounds me

He had always been there for her. Well, maybe not when he was soulless. Or maybe his soul had been there, only she didn’t notice. Before he changed, and after he had gotten his soul back, he was always there to help her. He never asked any questions. He made her crazy world, which should have been even crazier with him in it, make a little more sense.

Are you an angel ?
Am I already that gone?
I only hope that I won’t disappoint you

He really an angel. He was her guardian angel. used she thought.

When I’m down here on
My knees

Even if she got down on her knees, how could he ever forgive her?

Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

But it was all she had. All she could give him were her sincerest apologies. But would he for give her? Would be able to forgive herself for hurting him so much?

And I don’t understand
By the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall

I miss the little things
Oh I miss everything
About you

She missed him so much. She missed him more now than when he had been evil, or when she had sent him to hell. Maybe it was because he was so close, but she had pushed him so far away.

It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I’ve left behind me
Is a cold room

It might not mean anything to him. The damage she had done may have been too much to repair. But she had to try. She pulled on a pair of shoes and climbed out the window.

Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give



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