HE STILL LOVES HER: 1
by Spikes Queen
“I’m… what did u do?” Spike asked, not able to take his eyes off the woman in front of him.

“Me? Nothing,” Dawn answered.

“Her hands,” Spike said.

“I was gunna fix them. I don’t know how they got like that,” she said.

“I do. Clawed her way out of her coffin. That’s how. Init that right?” Spike asked,

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered. “That’s what I had to do.”

“Well, we’ll take care off you,” Spike said, gently leading her to the couch.

Dawn disappeared in the kitchen to get bandages as Spike sat on the coffee table with Buffy across from him. “You okay, Buffy?” He asked.

Buffy seemed to shrink into herself.

Spike looked up when he felt her move back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she whispered.

Dawn came in and handed the stuff to Spike.

Spike gently began to clean the wounds on Buffy’s knuckles.

Buffy flinched and whimpered from the sting.

“Sorry, Pet,” he whispered.

The front door came crashing open.

“Is she here?” Came Willow’s voice.

“She’s here,” Tara said.

Buffy’s eyes became blurry as everyone bombarded her with questions. She looked at Spike who looked up from cleaning her hands.

Spike looked at Dawn for help.

“STOP!” Buffy yelled.

Silence filled the room.

“Please just stop,” she whispered.

Spike finished placing the bandages on her hands as tears flowed down her face. “Buffy?”

Buffy sniffled. “Sorry,” she said, squeezing his hands.

“Don’t be,” Spike said, running his thumb over the back of her hand.

Dawn scowled at everyone else. “Guys, back off.”

The gang took a few steps back and gave Buffy some room.

Spike was being torn up and he had no idea what to do.

Buffy looked at him. “Spike?”

“Yeah Pet?” He asked.

“Can you take me upstairs?” She pleaded.

Spike’s heart melted and he stood up. “Yeah.” He helped her to her feet.

Buffy’s knees had other plans and buckled.

Spike scooped her up and carried her upstairs.

Xander however didn’t waist anytime going off. “This isn’t good.”

“Xander, shut up. Spike is taking care of her. Leave them alone,” Dawn said. “I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight Dawnie,” Tara said.

Upstairs, Spike laid Buffy in bed as she began to drift off.

“Pet, you might wanna change before you sleep,” he said.

“Tired,” she mumbled. “Stay.”

Spike smiled. “I’ll be right back,” he said, leaving.

Spike knocked on Dawn’s bedroom door. “Nibblet?”

“Come in,” Dawn said.

Spike came in and saw Dawn brushing her hair. “I’m still mad at you,” he said.

Dawn looked at him with her big brown eyes.

“Oh no,” Spike said, going toward her. “Don’t do that, ‘tis not fair. You scared me and you know it.”

“Come on Spike,” Dawn whined. “Buffy’s home. Can’t you let it go just this once?”

Spike’s eyes melted even more. “Having Buffy back is doing indescribable things to me but I can’t lose you,” he said, softly.

Dawn frowned and moved into his arms. “I didn’t mean to but I just wanted to make sure it was true,” she said, softly.

Spike’s arms were tight around her. “I just thought I’d lost you and even with Buffy back, I wouldn’t be able to handle losing you. I love her yes, but I love you too,” he whispered, kissing her hair.

Dawn smiled. “I love you too, Spike.” She picked her head up from his chest. “Are you gunna stay tonight?” She asked.

Spike smiled and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be here. You do have to go to school tomorrow though,” he said, smiling.

Dawn rolled her eyes naturally. “I know,” she said, climbing into bed.

Spike pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her forehead tenderly. “Good night, Dawn,” he whispered.

Dawn smiled and closed her eyes. “Good night, Spike,” she whispered.

Spike turned off the light and met Buffy in the hallway. He shut Dawn’s door, but left it open a little. “I thought you were tired?”

“What were you doing?” Buffy asked.

“Tucking Dawn in. Why?” Spike asked.

Buffy’s eyebrow went up. “You tuck Dawn in?”

“Yeah. Been doing it for 147 days,” Spike said, softly.

Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d stick around,” she said, going into her room.

Spike followed her with disbelief. “You told me to stay and protect her. What? You thought I’d take off after I promised?” He asked.

Buffy sat on her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. “I don’t know, Spike. I’m just so confused,” she whimpered.

Spike sat next to her. “I wasn’t gunna abandon Dawn and I certainly wasn’t gunna leave when everything here had your scent,” he said. “It was hard, I’ll admit, but couldn’t bring myself to leave.”

Buffy sniffled. “They pulled me from Heaven,” she said, looking at the floor.

Spike turned and looked at her. “What?”

Buffy lifted her gaze with tears running down her face. “I was happy. I was warm and I was loved. I hate this,” she whispered.

Spike moved closer to her. “Oh, Pet,” he said, pushing her hair back.

Buffy let out a few strangled sobs. “It hurts so much Spike. I don’t even think I’m me anymore,” she whispered.

Spike took his chances and pulled her into his arms. “I love you any way,” he said, stroking her hair.

Buffy curled up in his arms and let silent tears run down her face.

Spike held Buffy until she cried herself to sleep. Gently, he laid her in bed and pulled the covers over her. He kissed her forehead before leaving quietly.

He went downstairs to the back porch. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

Tara came out a few minutes later. “Spike? You okay?” She asked.

Spike looked at her. “Why did you bring her back?” He asked.

Tara looked taken back. “Aren’t you happy?” She asked.

“Seeing Buffy has ignited unbelievable emotions but you shouldn’t have brought her back,” Spike said, putting his cigarette out.

“We figured you, of all people, would be the most happy.” Tara said.

“Glinda, spells always go wrong. Willow could’ve brought her back wrong. And I would have had to gotten rid of whatever came back and you all know I would. That’s why none of you told me. It’s my job to protect Dawn and I will do everything I can. Even if that means killing Buffy, cause she’s not the same,” Spike said, softly.

Tara frowned. “We brought her back exactly the same,” she said.

Spike shook his head. “No. No you didn’t,” he said, going back inside.

Tara followed him and watched as he went upstairs. She met Willow in the living room. “We have a problem.”

Spike opened the door to Dawn’s room and she was trembling. He slid off his coat and carefully placed it over her. Instantly she was calm.

He smiled and went to check on Buffy who wasn’t’ doing too good. She was violently thrashing and sweating.

Spike ran over and sat next to her. “Buffy?”

Buffy punched him in the mouth as she continued to thrash.

Spike ignored to pain in his jaw, and climbed on top of her. He tried not to crush her as he calmed her flailing arms.

Buffy’s eyes flew open and landed on Spike. “Spike?” she whimpered.

Spike pushed himself up on his arms. “What happened?”

Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his neck. “Make it stop,” she whimpered.

Spike settled himself against her as she trembled. “I’m right here,” he said, kissing her hair.

Buffy nodded against him. “Stay here with me,” she said, softly.

Spike toed off his boots and laid next to her. “Get some sleep, Slayer,” he whispered.

“Buffy,” she whispered.

Spike smiled. “Good night, Buffy.”

Buffy gave a final shudder and drifted to sleep.

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