The Xander Gander: August 31st, 1999
by slayerfest
Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand before you: Xander Harris, recently dubbed the best male exotic dancer in Oxnard.

I’m ashamed. Let’s not make a big deal about it.

I bought my car. It cost several thousand dollars, but the guy I bought it from seemed genuine about the engine not falling out. I hit it with a wrench and it stayed put, so I figure I’m okay.

I’m leaving tomorrow morning, despite the constant knockings at my door from women who apparently appreciated my work.
Of course, most of them are extremely intoxicated.
…And I hold higher morals than that.

It got just a little creepy. My boss said I was fantastic and stated that all the other strippers were jealous. It was at that point that I renounced my leather man thong and got out of there. After changing out of it first, of c...

Oh God.
Oh God.
Let no one I actually like ever hear of this day.

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