Axel's arean: Glory Glory Hallelujah
by Beer Good
Hi, folks, and welcome to another special edition of Axel's arena. While Axel and Timan are duking it out on the main stage, I figured I'd do this - an interview with a hellgod isn't something you just reschedule. So, Glory, welcome to Axel's arena.

GLORY: Thanks, but yuck! What the hell are we doing in this van?

BEER GOOD: Well, the studio is mostly destroyed by now, so I borrowed this van from Oz and Gwen. Oh, mind you don't sit in the Daniel Jr's used diapers...

GLORY: WHAT THE HELL?

BEER GOOD: ...too late. Sorry about that, your evil deliciousness.

GLORY: OK, just for that you are going to die slowl... (changes into Ben)

BEN: Whoah, where am I? And why do I smell like... eww.

BEER GOOD (adjusting): Ben, welcome to Axel's arena. Thanks for doing this interview.

BEN: Interview? What interview? I don't see a camera...

BEER GOOD: Oh, there are cameras rigged all over the van. Andrew put them up out here when Axel wouldn't let him into the studio. So, Ben, you're the not-so-evil same-body twin of an evil hellgod. How's that working out for ya?

BEN: Oh, it's SO unfair. I mean, the cost for videotape alone.

BEER GOOD: Videotape?

BEN: Yeah, you see... (changes into Glory)

GLORY: ...ly!

BEER GOOD: Like I said, a thousand pardons, your... Angusyoungness.

GLORY: Good toadying. That bought you five seconds.

BEER GOOD (nervous): So, Glory...

GLORY: Four...

BEER GOOD: What'sitliketobethemostfabulousGodinhistory?

GLORY: Oh, it's living hell. Except not hell, because that would be nice. Would you believe I actually have to paint my nails myself? I'm a God! I shouldn... (changes into Ben)

BEN: Yeah, videotape. I always have five VCRs programmed for the next week, just in case I change into Glory and miss "ER". I mean, that's the show that made me want to be a doctor and help humanity. But she keeps finding the VCRs and taping over it just to spite me. Do you have a little sister?

BEER GOOD: Yeah.

BEN: Well, then you know what it's like.

BEER GOOD: So, you want to help humanity?

BEN: Oh, absolutely. I'm the good guy. I'll make any sacrifice in order to...

BEER GOOD: Yet you were too chicken to kill yourself and save the universe.

BEN: How would that have been fair? I never asked for this! It's all Glory's f... (changes into Glory)

GLORY: ...n't have to do anything myself! There should be millions of stinking mortals bowing down to me, slitting open their throats and offering their blood to color my claws crimson, only obviously I'd have to have them inject perfume and paint thinner into their blood stream first, because frankly, blood smell? Not that nice after a while. And what the hell is with... (changes into Ben)

BEN: ...ault!

BEER GOOD: Right. You're not responsible for anything.

BEN: Exactl... (changes into Glory)

GLORY: ...beer, anyway? I mean, I'm a God. I should be drinking ambrosia and floating on clouds. Dark clouds raining sulphur, since I'm a hellgod, obviously. Only the sulphur would smell extra sweet. This mortal coil thing is so unfair, I have... (changes into Ben)

BEN: ...y. I have feelings t... (changes into Glory)

GLORY: ...feelings too, you know, only I shouldn't, should I? Where's that useless brother of... (changes into Ben)

BEN: ...oo, you know, and if it wasn't for that useless sister of... (changes into Glory)

GLORY: ...mine, I'd rule... (changes into Ben)

BEN: ...mine, I'd help... (changes into Glory, who changes into Ben, who changes into Glory, who changes into Richard Nixon for a few seconds before changing into Ben, who changes into... and they keep whining and bitching and moaning throughout.)

BEER GOOD: Oh, fuck this, this is ridiculous. GILES! Little help here!

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