Axel's arean: Timan: out and about
by Timan
I don’t own any of Joss characters.

this was an idea I had for “Axels arena” tell me if you like it if you don’t then I won’t continue.

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VOICE OVER
And now it’s time for a new segment ‘Timan out and about’ with our man on the spot Timan

(Insert applause here.)

TIMAN
Hi Viewers! Timan here presenting a new segment to the show ‘Timan” out and about’ When Axel thought about doing stuff outside the studio I suggested this segment to be part of his show. He said no. So I locked him in his dressing room and stole the camera!

For my first segment I thought we would venture back to series three of Buffy to the grounds of Sunnydale high school. How you ask? Well I don’t want to bore you with the science so I’ll just say it involved a monkey, an egg and 500 volts of electricity running through my skull (don’t ask). Here I will take you through the day to day life of students on the hellmouth and the crazy, wacky things they get up to, also, I will take you into the inner sanctum of the slayer as I bring you live footage of a Scooby meeting in progress. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show.


(Typical shot of student running around)

Mornings are a busy time at this school. Students go from class just hoping to stay alive till the end of the day. Lets talk to a typical student about day-to-day life at Sunnydale high.

Hi there can I talk to you for a moment?

JONATHAN
(Looking at camera nervous) okay.

TIMAN
What are your feelings about the strange stuff that happens at this school?

JONATHAN
Fine . . . I guess

TIMAN
But surely the constant feeling of impending doom must bring down your mood now and again

JONATHAN
(Looking strangely at host) impending what?

TIMAN
This school has the highest mortality rate then any in the country. That must prey on the mind of a student such as yourself.

JONATHAN
What are you talking about?

TIMAN
Somebody must have told you about the large amount of students that died in this school over the past three years.

JONATHAN
(Now looked shocked at host) what!? Nobody told me that! Oh god! I’m going to die!

(Jonathan breaks down in hysterics Timan does cut motion to the camera)

TIMAN
One of the groups not knows to the general populous is the group who calls themselves the ‘Scooby gang’. Now I don’t know what that means but I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of hip young person drug reference. This group usually meets in the library. According to my research they are solely responsible for killing the baddies that plague this school. Let’s peek in on a typical meeting to join in on the excitement.

(Cut to inside of library. Willow, Oz, Cordelia, Buffy, Xander and Giles sit looking completely bored.)

BUFFY
So Giles is there anything going on?

GILES
Let me think

(20 minutes of silence removed for time restriction purposes)

GILES
No I don’t think so

XANDER
Hey guys I went through the phone book the other day. Pretty sure I memorized everybody’s name and number

WILLOW
Really? Lets here it

XANDER
Okay there’s A…

TIMAN
Whoa we better get out of that fun tornado before we all get swept away! Well that’s all I have time for . . .

SNYDER
Excuse me!

TIMAN
Ladies and Gentlemen this is a surprise. Principal Snider what are your feelings about the weird stuff that happens on your school?

SNYDER
Do you have a hall pass?

TIMAN
What?

SNYDER
All students need a hall pass during class time

TIMAN
Ah . . . I don’t actually have one.

SNYDER
I see so you think a student like yourself can just break the rules without the principal knowing

TIMAN
I’m 26

SNYDER
Oh so it’s trespassing is it well I have way to deal with people who trespass on my school

(Snyder grabs Timan’s arm and drags him away. Cut to classroom where Timan is writing lines on the chalkboard)

SNYDER
I want it 100 times. ‘I will not trespass on school grounds’

TIMAN
Well . . . ah . . . This brings this look inside of Sunnydale high to an end. So this is me, Timan, saying goodbye until next time

(Snyder hits Timan with a long ruler)

TIMAN
Ow! Hey you can’t do that!

SNYDER
It’s my school buster I can do what ever I want!


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