Across the Ages: Across the Ages
by Kristen Elizabeth
Across the Ages
(otherwise entitled) -
If Buffy the Vampire Slayer had aired during different decades.
The Eighties:
Ah, the age of Regan, Madonna and really great children's toys. But what if our favorite Slayer had lived and worked during the "era of greed"? What would be different? Let's see.
-Instead of slaying vampires in black stretch pants and tiny tank tops, Buffy would save the world in acid washed jeans and pink Converse sneakers.
-Spike would be criticized for copying Billy Idol's look, despite his defense that he's dressed this way since the Cruxifiction.
-Amung back issues of Sassy magazine, Cordelia carries her copy of The Prep's Handbook.
-Guest stars include Kirk Cameron, Molly Ringwald and Michael J. Fox.
The Seventies:
Sit for a moment and try to imagine if the Tuesday night fun we call Buffy had originally aired during this groovy decade of lava lamps, shag carpeting and smiley faces. What would be different? Let's see.
-Giles would be kicked out of the inner circle, Watcher or not. Trust no one over thirty, after all.
-The gang would boogie the night away on the multi-colored, lighted floor of the Bronze to the music of the BeeGes, Gloria Gaynor and KC and the Sunshine Band.
-Fans would be extremely upset to turn on the TV at eight o'clock on Tuesday night only to discover that President Nixon was giving yet another speech.
-Guest stars include Donny and Marie Osmond, the Partridge Family kids and Andy Gibbs.
The Sixties:
It certainly would have been interesting to have seen Buffy if it had been produced during the Age of Aquarius. What would have been different? Let's see.
-Instead of being insane, Druscilla would just be constantly stoned. -Oz's band would wear matching dinner jackets and sing songs with titles like "Would You Be Mine?" and "Teenage Heartbreaker".
-Angel would never be in danger of losing his soul because he and Buffy wouldn't be able to do much more than kiss on national TV.
-Guest stars would include Ricky Nelson, Patty Duke and Elvis.
The Fifties:
Watching Buffy on the small, black and white fuzzy screen in the family room certainly would not be my idea of fun. But suppose the show had been created during this rock and roll age. What would be different? Let's see.
-Willow would research ancient rituals in her full poodle skirt and Xander's hair would be suspiciously dark and slicked back.
-Instead of giving her a friendship ring, Angel would "pin" Buffy before asking her to go steady.
-The Anointed One would have resembled Beaver Cleaver way too much.
-Guest stars include Lucille Ball, Alfred Hitchcock and Mr. Ed.
The Forties:
Imagine not being able to see Buffy slay the vampires, only being able to hear it over the family's radio. Well, if the show had been up and running during the big band era, that's exactly what you would have gathered around the set for every Tuesday night. What would have been different (besides the absensce of visuals)? Let's see.
-Xander and Oz would be enlisted in the US Army and would only come back to Sunnydale on their leave of absences, sending Cordelia and Willow long letters in the meantime.
-Giles would constantly be referred to as "the ally".
-Buffy, Cordelia and Willow would sing advertisments for Coca-Cola, Whiz laundry soap and cold creams between scenes.
-Guest stars would include Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland and Glen Miller.
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