I Will Remember You: Part One
by Kristen
The Next Afternoon

Willow paces back and forth at the foot of the bed waiting for Angel to regain consciousness. * He is so going to hate me when he wakes up. * She jumps as the still figure on the bed moans. She races to his side. "Angel?"

Angel moans again and tries to open his eyes * Geez, what happened? * Then, he remembers. "Buffy!" his voice a raspy sob. His vision clears and he sees Willow leaning over him, her eyes filled with sorrow and concern and guilt. "Willow, what did you do?" He tries to get up and discovers he is chained to the bed.

Willow turns away from him and speaks softly. "I'm sorry Angel. I hit you with a rock and dragged your body back inside. When Giles came, he had the tranquilizer gun in his car and we drugged you. Then we brought you in here and chained you to the bed in case you decided to try and kill yourself again. I couldn't let you die."

He growled angrily, "I'm already dead! I died the first time in 1753. And I died again last night."

Suddenly Willow whirls around in fury to face him. Her eyes flashing, her cheeks wet with tears. "You're not the only one! Buffy was one of my best friends. And what about Xander or my god, Giles? Do you think it was easy for any of us to see what they did to her? Well, let me let you in on a secret-It wasn't. Nor was it easy to go to her mother this morning and tell her that her only daughter was never coming home. It breaks my heart all over again to think of it."

Angel is taken aback by her vehemence. "I'm sorry Willow. You're right, I'm being selfish. I suppose her mother took it hard."

Willow sits down next to him on the bed, looking frail and lost, all the anger suddenly drained out of her. "It was awful. Giles and I went. We didn't even have to tell her. She just knew by looking at us. At first, she seemed okay, like she was going to keep it together. But when we went upstairs to her room." Willow breaks off on a sob and presses her hand to her mouth.

"What happened?" He prods gently.

Willow turns to look at him, her tear-filled eyes gleaming like wet emeralds. "She left envelopes for all of us, Angel. Including an envelope detailing her funeral arrangements. She must have snuck in there and left them for her mom. She knew when she went out last night, she wouldn't be coming back alive."

"She told me she knew it was her time to go." Angel whispered softly.

Willow grabs his arm tightly. "She spoke to you? She was alive when you got there?"

"Yes. She and I said our goodbyes. She told me that she loved me. She even quoted 'Sonnets from the Portuguese'. That was the book of poetry I gave her on her 18th birthday. I thought she lost it that night."

"No, we went back the next morning and found it in the bushes."

"Oh. I never knew that. Then, she said to tell you how much she loved you and Xander." Angel pauses for a moment remembering her final words. "And that the greatest gift the Hellmouth ever gave her was your friendship." Angel smiles slightly, * Hey, Buffy, how did I do? Was that cool enough? * "What did her letters say?"

Willow takes a thick creamy envelope out of her pocket and sets it on the bed. "Um I brought your letter for you. I haven't been able to read mine yet. Buffy asked to be cremated immediately and her ashes scattered over the ocean. The memorial service is tomorrow night after sunset. I'm supposed to speak." Willow clears her throat nervously. "We can't keep you here forever. I know that. So, I'm willing to make a deal with you."

Angel narrows his eyes suspiciously. "What kind of deal?"

"Promise me that you won't do anything before the memorial service. She wanted you to be there. And promise me you'll read her letter." Willow pauses and pulls her trump card. "You owe her that much. You owe *all* of us that much."

Angel closes his eyes and makes his decision. "Alright, I'll read the letter and I'll go to the memorial service." He opens his eyes. "I promise."

Willow smiles sadly at him as she reaches up and unlocks the cuffs. "I'll leave you alone now." She stands up, her own letter clutched tightly in her hands. "Besides, I need to read this and figure out what I'm going to say tomorrow that will do her justice." She walks out and shuts the door behind her.

Angel stares a moment at the closed door and then looks down at the letter. * I can't. Not yet. * He puts his head in his hands and begins to cry.


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