ANDREW!! MAN OF ACTION!: Part II: “BASIC IS A FOUR LETTER WORD!”
by Timan
Agent Wilda Mendoza paced in front of a sleepy looking Andrew. She shook her head disapprovingly as she noticed he was in his Darth Maul pajamas.
“These drills are designed to test the limits of you body and your mind!” Agent Mendoza yelled, “the Commander has put a lot of faith in you . . . some say to much . . . but it is my job to make sure that you do not fail! Is that understood?”
Andrew nodded lazily. Wilda stood in front of Andrew with her arms folded behind her back.
“Are their any questions before we get started?”
Tentatively Andrew raised his hand. Mendoza rolled her eyes. It was going to be one of those days.
“Andrew?”
“Yeah, can I get at cookie?” Andrew asked
Wilda blinked in disbelief as Andrew dropped his hands and rocked backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet.
“What?” she asks
“My blood sugar’s kinda low this morning. Don’t want to run out of pep during the training montage.”
Wilda stared at Andrew. She believed that there was a high probability that she was going to have to explain to the Commander how the new recruit died during his training.
“No you can not have a cookie,” She replied angrily, “let’s get started . . .”
LOCATION: F.O.R.C.E. unarmed combat training room
The first thing I’m going to test is your reflexes and you skill in unarmed combat . . .
Andrew and Wilda stood across from each other on the practice mat. Straitening up her martial arts uniform she placed herself in a state of readiness. Andrew stood a few meters away and alternated between the “wax on, wax off” and the Crain positions.
“Alright Andrew attack me.” Wilda prompted
Andrew walked towards her cautiously. His smug smile is what Wilda was waiting to pound off his face.
“As you wish,” Andrew replied confidently, “but I warn you fair maiden. I dedicated my life to training young women to be champions. Also, I’ve seen ‘The Matrix’ seventeen Times . . . well not two and three they kinda sucked. Watching Keanu Reeves walk around with the same facial expression for four hours, not what I call . . . “
His train of thought was broken by Wilda hitting him in the face. Andrew stumbled back and grabbed at his nose.
“Hey! I wasn’t ready!” he yelled at her
“You have to do better then that in the field Andrew.” Wilda replied suddenly feeling better.
“Yeah, well . . . you’re just lucky my chi was out of alignment or you would have see some serious Jackie Chan move coming at you!”
LOCATION: Mountain range just outside of Washington
Next I will be testing your stamina and endurance through a series of grueling physical activities.
Wilda jogged confidently up the ledge of the mountain. She sat on a rock and looked out over the spectacular view of the city. As she was taking a sip from her water bottle she heard the slow crunching of footsteps accompanied by strained gasping of Andrew as he struggled his way to the top.
“Ow! Cramp! Cramp!” he whined as he clutched his side and doubled over
Dropping to his knees he crawled over to Wilda and pulled himself helplessly up onto the rock. He attempted to assume a confident pose.
“See how I let you lead for the first . . . two hundred miles so you didn’t feel bad.” He said between gasps
“Yeah, very convincing.” Wilda replied blandly, “come on we still have the other half of the mountain to go.”
“What?” Andrew exclaimed
Wilda closed the lid on her water bottle and continued to follow the path. Andrew struggled to his feet. As he swayed backwards and forwards he watched the athletic woman quickly disappear out of sight.
“Okay! You go on ahead!” he yelled, “I’m just going to take a personal moment!”
After that he collapsed face first onto the ground.
LOCATION: F.O.R.C.E. Weapons course
In this section I’ll see how well you handle a weapon.
Andrew walked carefully through the mock up town. He gripped the handle of his handgun tightly as he waited for the excitement to begin. Next to him the first wooden figure sprang out. Andrew swung around and shot it. The next figure slid out from it’s hiding place. Andrew diligently turned and shot that figure as well. Hearing the motor of the third figure Andrew barrel rolled over and shot the last figure twice. Andrew stood up confidently and blew the barrel of his gun. Agent Mendoza walked out from the safety zone and examined the targets.
“So how’d I do chief?” he asks smugly.
“Well let’s see,” Wilda replied looking at her checklist, “you shot the parent, you shot the hostage, you shot the bystander . . .”
LOCATION: F.O.R.C.E. Psychological testing room
the final test is going to tax the abilities of you mind. This will tell us how well you will do under pressure.
Andrew stared at the board closely. One wrong move and the exercise will be over. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked at his options. With his hand trembling he picked up the final piece and placed it in it’s correct slot
“B 6!” he yelled
The man sitting across from him looked down his board and frown. He slammed his fist on the table with frustration and glared at Andrew.
“You sunk my battleship!” he growled angrily
“Hey, I lost one of my destroyers but you don’t hear me crying about it.” Andrew replied
“ANDREW!” Wilda yelled from the doorway, “the test is in the next room!”
LOCATION: the Commanders office
“How’d our boy do?” yelled the Commander.
“Well, sir, I just finished tallying the results and . . . “ Wilda hesitated
“And what? Spit it out girl! Never leave an armed man in suspense!”
“Andrew has the worse test results in this agencies history. He even tested worse then the time when the janitor accidentally took the course.”
The Commander sat down in his chair and stroked his moustache thoughtfully.
“Why that crafty devil! Giving us false test results so that the enemy can’t steal them to use against him,” the Commander replied.
“Sir, I really don’t think that was his plan.”
“’Course not Mendoza! That’s what he wanted you to think! We’re obviously dealing with some kind of mastermind! Thank god we found him before they did!”
“Ah . . . maybe we should take these results at face values sir.”
The Commander glared at Agent Mendoza.
“That’s insubordination talk! One more word against our boy Mendoza and I’ll bust you down to junior agent!”
“You did that yesterday sir.”
“Enough talk! We need action! Mendoza take the boy down to technical and get him loaded up.”
“Right sir.” Wilda replied in a depressed tone.
She slowly walked to the door. How did she get herself into this mess?
“MENDOZA!” the commander yelled from his desk.
“Yes sir?”
“If this mission is a success I will see to it personally that you get promoted to junior agent!”
“Thanks . . . sir.”
LOCATION: F.O.R.C.E. Technical laboratory
Andrew and Wilda entered the immaculately clean laboratory. Soon after a short man with wiry silver hair met them. Wilda shook the mans hand
“Good to see you again Miss Mendoza.” The scientist said in a thick German accent
“Good to see you to. This is Andrew he is my . . . well, he’s working with me. Andrew this is Maynard Von Tecgui, head of research and development.”
Andrew chucked to himself. Maynard looked at Andrew curiously
“What is the matter?” Maynard asked.
“You work with gadgets and your name is ‘tech guy’,” Andrew laughed.
Maynard shook his head and looked curiously at Mendoza.
“I don’t see the joke.” He replied
“Don’t worry he’s a special case.” Mendoza replied winking
“Oh” Maynard replied
“Can you show us what you have Professor.”
“Certainly right this way.”
Andrew and Wilda were lead to a table covered in various pieces of equipment. Andrew looked at the table and slowly started to drool. During this a thought crossed his mind.
“Hey you not going to give us, like, rocket packs are you? ‘Cause I have this whole issue with rocket packs.” Andrew asked
“No, just the basic essentials,” Maynard replied, “first off we will start off with you’re watches.”
He hands both of them an expensive watches. Andrew grabs his excitedly and examines it.
“Oh cool thanks Doc! I can get about fifty buck for this on eBay!”
“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Maynard replied hesitantly
“Why? What does . . . “
Andrew presses the small red button. Maynard quickly ducks out of the way as a laser streams out and burns a hole in the back wall. Wilda quickly snatches the watch off Andrew
“It contains a small 100 mega watt laser that can cut through titanium.”
Maynard stares at Andrew carefully. He hands Wilda both Belts.
“Now, these are standard dress belts. The buckle contains a hidden gas propelled grappling hook and tensile steel cable capable of holding 120 pounds of weight.”
“How do you know that? Did you put a fat guy on the belt and see if he fell?” Andrew asked
Maynard looks curiously at Andrew. He ushers Mendoza aside.
“Are you sure he’s an agent?” Maynard asked
“Believe me I’ve been asking that question all day.” Mendoza replied.
“Oh cool are these our guns?!” Andrew yelled from behind them
Wilda and Maynard swung around almost in unison. Andrew swung his gun around happily
“Andrew I think you should give that to me.” Wilda said cautiously
Andrew looks offended and points his gun up.
“Excuse me! I use to be a super villain I think I know how to handle a gun thank you very much.” he replied
A shot is fired. All three of them duck down as the bullet ricocheted off the walls. When the danger is over they slowly rise again
“Okay that’s our safety lesson for today,” Andrew continues a little shaken, “always make sure the safety is on.”
Andrew looks at the gun closely and fiddles with the safety on the handgun.
A second shot rings out and, again the group dives for cover and again they all rise up slowly when the danger has past. Andrew looked awkwardly at other two.
“I’ve decided that Wilda should hold the guns.” Andrew said quickly giving the firearm to Mendoza
LOCATION: Airport, Washington.
“So where are we going?” Andrew asks as they approach the private jet
“We’ll be arriving in central Europe in a few hours. I’ll be briefing you in the air.”
“Why can’t you tell me now?”
“Because it’s not protocol.”
“Is it going to be cold?”
“I can’t tell you yet!”
“How am I supposed to know if I want to pack summer pajamas or winter pajamas if I don’t know where I’m going?”
Wilda rubbed her forehead. She never realized that she suffered migraines before she met Andrew.
“Look. It’s not safe out here okay. In the plane there are devices that block people from listening in.”
“Okay, okay Wilda the grouch. What do we do now?”
Wilda sighed. She wasn’t sure if she could say the words out loud but the Commander was clear.
“Actually, you’re in charge.”
“Really? Awesome! That would make you Sculley. Sassy but conservative skeptic to my thoughtful and dedicated believer Mulder.”
“Whatever. Lets just go.”
“Absolutely but remember . . . the truth is out there.”
“Just get on the damn plane!” Wilda yelled in frustration
This story archived at: The Slayer\'s Fanfic Archive
The Slayer\\\\\\\\'s FanFic Archive - http://www.slayerfanfic.com/viewstory.php?sid=13717