Scars: Final Tears
by littlewiccan
“I hate hospitals,” Buffy said as the walked into the hospital; Giles walked up to the front desk with Jenny, while Buffy and Spike hung back, “They give me the wiggins.”
“What room is Joyce Summers in?” Giles asked the receptionist.
“231,” she answered after punching the name into her computer.
“Thank you.”
Giles and Jenny led the way to Joyce’s room. They all stopped in front of the door marked 231.
“Go on love, open it,” Spike encouraged gently.
Slowly Buffy opened the door and walked into the room. She was quickly followed by the others.
“Mom,” Buffy said as she ran over to hug the woman in the bed.
“Buffy, I missed you so much.”
“Me too,” she answered almost crying, “How are you feeling?”
“Good, I have a slight headache but nothing to worry about. Actually a coma makes you feel pretty rested,” Joyce laughed. Buffy smiled but her expression was still pained. She grimaced at the bandages and tubs that adorned her mothers body, “What’s wrong sweetheart?”
“Mom, I’m so sorry,” Buffy said shaking her head, tears running down her face, “It’s all my fault.”
“No, shush,” Joyce said, holding her daughter tight in her arms. Buffy felt like she was five again, being in her mother’s arms like that again was better then any therapy she could ever asked for; she felt safe, warm, protected, and most importantly loved, “Its not your fault.”
It wasn’t till then the 2 Summers women realized they weren’t alone. Joyce looked up at her visits as Buffy got out of her mother's bed and walked over to where Spike was standing.
Joyce smiled as she saw the young man put his arms around her daughter and brush the tears from her eyes.
“Rupert,” Joyce said with a smile as he came over and gave her a hug.
“Here, I brought these for you,” he said handing her a bouquet of flowers.
“Oh, they’re lovely thank you.”
“Um, this is Jenny my fiancée,” Giles said.
“It’s about time you got married.”
“We hope you’ll come to the wedding,” Jenny said.
“I’d love too.”
“Oh, mom this is William, my……boyfriend,” Buffy said with a smile, taking his hand and leading him over to Joyce’s bed.
“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Summers,” he said.
“Please call me Joyce,” she said and then pulled Buffy down close to her and whispered, “I like him. He’s a keeper.” Buffy smiled in response.
**********************
Buffy watched as Giles and Jenny danced together at their wedding reception. The couple looked so blissfully in love. Buffy turned her head and found her mother, smiling and talking to a man. Their eyes met and they smiled and in that moment Buffy knew everything was going to be okay. No matter how many scars she had sustained she would survive and keep going. Her mother was her mother was even brave enough to try to fall in love and to trust again, even after everything that happened.
“May I have this dance?” Buffy heard a familiar voice ask her as he held out his hand. She smiled at Spike in his suit, “What?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s the suit isn’t. I look like a penguin. I knew I would.”
“No, you look handsome really,” she said as she took his hand and he led her over to the dance floor to join the other couples.
Buffy watched over Spike’s shoulder as a little girl danced with her father, her little feet standing on his. She closed her eyes and thought back about her past and as her mind flitted over her memories, it stopped on one.
She was 2 and she had heard her father open the door and come into her room. She had pretended to be asleep, hoping he wouldn’t hurt her if she was.
Hank kneeled down next to his daughter’s bed and smiled down at her as he began to cry. He placed his head in his hands and sobbed softly, “I’m so sorry Buffy. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I….” he broke off. Slowly he got up to his feet and gently kissed her head, “I love you,” he whispered.
Buffy let a tear fall down her cheek as she thought of that moment. It was really the only moment that she had with her dad that she could call semi-sweet. It wasn't much but she held onto it. It was all she had. “I love you too,” Buffy whispered.
“Huh?” Spike said.
“Nothing,” she said smiling at him, “I love you.”
“I love you too pet,” he said, kissing her lips softly.
********************
When Buffy went home that night and into her room she walked over to her suitcase and pulled out an unopened letter. It had come in the mail for her a while ago but she had never wanted to open it. It was from her father. She stared at the letter in her hands, it felt heavy.
She hadn’t opened it before because she was afraid of what she might find inside; she was to mad and angry at the world, at everyone for walking by and never realizing what was going on and some turning away and choosing to ignore it. She grabbed a letter opener and slit the envelope open. Slowly she pulled out the letter and began to read it.
Buffy,
I’m sorry for everything I have done and all the pain I have caused you. I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again. I know that nothing I say can erase what happened and all the pain I caused you but I love you and I just wanted to make sure you knew that. I was a fool and a monster for hurting you and words cannot express how sorry I am. I love you Buffy, how could I not you’re an amazing girl and probably by now an even more amazing and courageous women. I left an address in case you want to write back. I’ll understand if you don’t. I just hope you’re happy.
Love,
Hank
Buffy let her tears fall onto the page as she read it and as soon as she was done she let the letter fall to the floor.
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