Hate or love?: Exposed
by spuffygurl11
Disclaimer: I spend all my money on clothes, so suing me would be stupid ‘cause it’s all Joss’s.
Note: Sorry for the slow update I wanted to make it perfect, and thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, you guys are awesome!
Buffy strutted though her front door in case her father was already there, seeing he wasn’t her shoulders slumped as she thought about the hell she was going to have to go though, and cause. If she was angry and vengeful to her parents they wouldn’t she how much pain she was in.
Swinging the silver cross Angel had given her for their one year anniversary Buffy thought idly about the nickname her friends had given her when she was vendetta Buffy. ‘The slayer’ she knew what she was doing was childish and idiotic but she didn’t really care, if it could help her deal without confronting her father, she’d do it.
He abandoned her mother and herself for a woman he dumped a few days after he left. She felt replaceable, like if her father really wanted to he’d get another daughter and love her more then his own flesh and blood.
When she lived in L.A she was a completely different person, she was shallower and was obsessed with clothes and boys, well that was what people thought. She ran her finger over some faint scars on her thigh, she had cut herself when her parents would argue so loud she’d turn her music on to full blast to drown it out.
Joyce saw her with a jagged piece of glass that she kept under her mattress, just in case she needed to cut, and was about to raise it to her golden skin, shallow cuts, shallow cuts, cuts to bleed not to die.
Her parents for once agreed on something, that Buffy was insane, she spent two weeks in a mental institution, she stopped cutting and they never talked about it again. Sometimes she thought about cutting again add some scars to her collection. Then she thought about her friends and her Mom, and surprisingly sometimes Spike. Even though she had totally blown him off and hurt him, he still loved her, it was nice to have some one love you unconditionally.
The doorbell chirped in a high pitched ring making Buffy stiffen all over her body, she heard the creak of the door, her mothers strained welcome, and the clunking of her fathers boots. Mentally she counted to three, one…two…three… “Buffy! Your fathers here! And he brought a friend,”
The pseudo cheeriness irritated Buffy much more then if her mom had started sobbing. How dare she act happy! If she wasn’t happy her mother couldn’t be either, it was just wrong!
Buffy stalked down the stairs a glare fixed on her face, her cold gaze made her father flinch a little, good.
“Hank,” Buffy regarded her father with as much warmth as an iceberg.
“Buffy, it’s so nice to see you, you look…” Hanks eyes traveled down Buffy’s scantily covered body, “nice?” She grinned inwardly Faith had given her a temporary belly button ring it delighted her to she how much Hank squirmed at the sight of it.
As if remembering he wasn’t the only person there her pushed a woman who looked Buffy’s age towards her, “Buffy, this is Chanterelle.”
Chanterelle held out her ashen hand out to Buffy who looked back at it with disgust before throwing a biting remark at him, “So who’s you bring this time Hank, the babysitter or the dog walker?”
Hank raised his hand as if to protest but Buffy kept going, “No? Not those? Okay, I know he found you at a playboy spread? Huh not that either, maybe at my high school! Are you even legal?” The two parents and ‘adult’ gaped at her sharpness.
“Buffy please, Chanterelle is a very nice woman-”
“-teenager.”
“So you should treat her respectfully,” Hank had fought this battle for about a thousand years, and each time Buffy came out victorious.
“Buffy don’t do this,” Joyce chimed in.
“I don’t feel like it,” Buffy swung herself over the banister her legs dangling.
“Nothing against you mushroom girl, it’s just I hate my father so since you two are ‘involved’ you get some of my wrath for free! Two for one deal, or more like killing to evil birds with one big stone.”
“I mean it’s not like I haven’t told Hank to ever to come here again, especially not with his underage skanks. I just thought I made it clear the last time you visited Daddy dearest, your dead to me. I hate you, I’ll die at peace if you never come in contact with me again, yet you keep coming!” Cold fury filled Buffy’s veins as she thought about her other birthdays and her past.
“I mean you were living the cliché in L.A with your secretary, so why did you come back! When you divorced mom you divorced me too, so don’t come here to my house trying to reason with me and reconnect Hank! It’s too late okay! It’s too late!” Buffy could feel the hot tears in her eyes and prayed for Hank not to see them.
“Buffy,” Hank said softly, reaching for her arm.
Buffy ripped herself from Hanks grasp, “Don’t touch me, don’t ever touch me!”
Without a word of protest from the parental units Buffy ran up the stairs making a big show of throwing things and screaming, “I…(bam)...Hate…(crash)…you!” Before she slipped out her window leaving Joyce, Hank, and Chanterelle in an extremely awkward silence.
Two fat tears rolled down her face Buffy brushed them away, she was eighteen years old! She was legally an adult, her parents couldn’t force her to do anything that she didn’t want to! Even with her revelation of her freedom, Buffy still felt caged, she wished she could go back in time and hug her Mom, and not hate her father, but she couldn’t. Pushing away all her sense Buffy strode into the Bronze in search for ‘easy lay Faith.’
Turning on the heel of her leather boot Buffy went straight into the middle of the ring of writhing bodies, where sure enough Faith was in the center, grinding her body into every male she could. Shrugging her shoulders Buffy joined Faith with her own random male.
Spike leaned on the wall casually not being noticed in the darkness of the corner, he glared at the slim blonde who was “dancing” with Riley ‘Captain Cardboard’ Finn. He bristled as Buffy danced more suggestively, usually he liked watching her dance, wishing he was with her, but tonight she looked like she might actually hook up with Finn. Gritting his teeth, Spike clenched his fists at his side as he saw Riley kiss Buffy deeply in the middle of the room. Unable to torture himself any longer he went out to the nearest exit to take long drags of his cigarettes and drink unhealthy amounts of JD.
Buffy smiled at Riley when he stopped sucking her face, but when he turned around she pulled her fishnet sleeves to wipe her mouth, “he’s gonna pay for that,” she thought a devious gleam in her eyes.
“Hey Riley,” she lowered her voice seductively, “wanna go outside, you know somewhere more private?”
Riley grinned, “Lead the way,” Buffy took his arm and pushed him out the door Spike had just gone through.
Spike glowered when her saw Buffy and the poofter Riley come out his hands all over her exposed body, he didn’t want to see this but they were blocking his only exit so he’d have to see the whole show. Riley leaned in to Buffy about to meet her lips when her foot came slamming into his chest making him land flat on his back.
Stifling a chuckle Spike watched as Buffy leaned down and said with venom, “If you ever try and stick your tongue down my throat again, I’ll rip it out. Kay?” With a toss of her hair she walked out into the street leaving Riley sprawled on the cement and Spike with a grin on his face, he paused and thought for a second before running after her.
“Slayer! Wait up,” Spike sauntered towards Buffy, “I’ve seen some pretty damn funny things in my lifetime, but seeing Captain Cardboard getting beat down by you, well that’s the bloody best!” Buffy stopped walked walking and Spike braced himself for cold glares and biting words.
To Spikes surprise when Buffy turned to face him, a small smile tugged at her lips, “It was wasn’t it? You should’ve seen him when I went out with him.”
“You dated that?” Spike asked pointing to the Riley shaped lump in the alley behind them.
“Only once, but once was enough. He was born to be in the army, so obedient he’ll blindly follow orders, would’ve made a great trophy boyfriend though,” Buffy observed before walking once again.
Spike hurried to fall into step with her, they walked uncomfortably for a few minutes before Spike tried to break the thick ice surrounding them, “Red told me.”
Buffy didn’t even have to ask what he was talking about, she knew, “Thought as much.”
More silence, “I don’t know why I do it.”
Spike looked at her far away gaze, “Do what, love?”
“This,” she motioned to her clothes, “I mean I know it’s coming every year yet I still become the slayer.” She looked at him in such a sad way he just wanted to kiss her until she felt better.
“This morning Mom told me that she and the ex had been talking and they think I should live with Him in L.A for awhile, get counseling.” Spike looked shocked, he couldn’t imagine school, life without Buffy even if all they did was fight.
“Don’t worry, I told her no way in hell,” she added as if she read his mind, “but she said she might make me. I don’t know how’d that work out though, I mean I was expelled from the high school.”
“You, were expelled?” Spike exclaimed to Buffy’s amusement.
“Yes.”
“What for?” Spike asked thinking of any way his Buffy could’ve gotten expelled.
“Hmm let me think, drugs, fights, vandalism, I was in a gang, and I kinda set the school gym on fire.”
Spike gaped, “I had too, the fire thing. One of my ‘friends’ were going to shoot the head cheerleader I had to stop them,” Buffy shrugged indifferently, like it was something trivial rather then some of her darkest secrets.
“But I’m okay now, I don’t need some shrink telling me I was traumatized as a child from daycare isolation,” Buffy continued, nervously snapping her gaudy plastic bracelets against her skin. They both knew that she wasn’t okay but Spike wasn’t stupid enough to ruin this one moment of understanding between them.
As Buffy and Spike finished the walk to her house Buffy froze at the sight, an ambulance was parked in her driveway its neon lights flashing at her black ringed eyes, her body felt like it was in quicksand as her brain processed the situation, when the realization set in Buffy’s face became contorted with fear, turning to Spike she whispered, “Mom.”
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