Forever: Part 8
by Felicity
Disclaimer: I own Alyssa, Stephan, Emily, Andrew and Cecilia. The rest of the characters belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Mutant Enemy, Fox, etc. etc etc.
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Part Eight
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1860....
* * *
Alyssa woke up as the first light of dawn touched her bed curtains. She smiled softly, still half in her dream. It was a lovely dream, though she couldn't remember exactly what was happening. Only that it was wonderful, and there was someone . . . And then she remember who that someone had been.
Alyssa's body tensed and her eyes flew open as she began to recall the dream. Angelus had been there, but she hadn't called him that, and he had smiled at her and . . . and it was another of those dreams. She had had them since before she even met Angelus, though she didn't know who he was for a long time, just a man that she met and loved in her dreams. But then she found out that in the world he was quite different. It was not a pleasant awakening.
He tried to unnerve her by being mocking and cruel, but using her parents against her. But he only made it easier, showed her more clearly that the only thing he shared with the man in her dreams was a face. If he had smiled at her even once, truly smiled, without sarcasm or mockery, but truly smiled, she would be powerless against him.
Luckily, he never truly smiled and he never would.....
* * *
1998....
Buffy took a deep breath and slowly pressed the familiar numbers on the phone. One-area code-and then the number, which she knew so well. She knew Giles would be there, even during the summer. He was always there. The phone began to ring, once, twice, three times. Buffy tapped her foot on the floor and one the fourth ring Giles picked up.
"Hello?" he said, obviously puzzled by who would be calling the school library in the summer.
"Hey Giles," Buffy said softly.
"Buffy?!" he exclaimed. They hadn't spoken since Buffy had asked if she could stay in L.A., but now she needed him to find something out for her, since Angel had retreated into a brooding phase again.
"Yep. That's me. The one and only. How are you?" she asked.
"I-I'm f-fine. How are you?" he asked quickly.
"I'm okay. I just thought I'd check and see how things were going. Have the vamps gotten over Spike and Dru's little disappearance?" Buffy asked.
"A-actually, they . . . they have, I'm afraid. They're rather active again."
"Oh. I see. Do you need me to . . . to come back?" Buffy asked, mentally praying he would say no. He didn't.
"If you could, it would-"
"I'll talk to my parents," Buffy interrupted him, mentally screaming. What about Angel? Would he go back with her? She couldn't lose him again. She just couldn't.
"O-oh. Good. Thank you. Is there . . . is there anything else?" Giles asked.
"Yes actually," Buffy said, bracing herself. She'd have to do this right. "I was wondering if you could look something up for me."
"I'd be happy to. What is it?" Giles asked.
"One of the old Slayers . . . her name was Alyssa and she was alive in the nineteenth century," Buffy said. "I just want to know how she died."
"I-I don't think-"
"There would be any problem with that," Buffy interrupted him. "Thank you Giles. You're the best. And I'll get back to you about the coming home thing. Thanks, ‘bye." She hung up before he had a chance to gainsay her. Hopefully he would do it, seeing no other choice, and if not she would resort to her second option . . . having Willow steal the Watcher's diary.
She had to go back. Back to Sunnydale, to being the Slayer. How could she do it? Not only might it mean being separated from Angel, but the last time she had been the practicing Slayer she had hurt everyone she cared about. Xander had a broken arm because of her, Willow had gone into a coma, and Kendra . . . Kendra had died! Because of Buffy. And that wasn't even mentioning Giles, whom Buffy still couldn't think of. Tortured. He had been tortured. By Angel. Angelus. Which did not forebode well for how he would react if he found out Angel was still alive. First Ms. Calendar and now this . . . he wouldn't be able to take it. Which meant Buffy had to choose. And she couldn't. She really couldn't.
"This is not the time to think about this. I'll think about it later. This is the time to call Willow," she told herself firmly. She was still holding the phone and she quickly pushed the TALK button and dialed Willow's familiar phone number.
"Rosenberg residence, can I help you?" Willow's voice asked cheerfully. Buffy's voice caught in her throat when she started to talk. What if Willow didn't want to talk to her? After all, she'd been in a coma, and then Buffy had just left. Sure she'd been really great when they talked before but—
"Xander? Is that you? Hello?" Willow asked.
"I-it's not Xander," Buffy managed softly. "Sorry. It's just me. Buffy."
"Oh my god! Buffy! You're-you're calling! Me! For real! You want to talk! Do you want to talk?" Willow asked quickly. Buffy almost smiled.
"I want to talk. If-if that's okay. If you want to," she said hesitating still.
"Of course! I didn't want to call you ‘cause I was afraid you wouldn't want to. Talk, I mean. I thought you needed time," Willow said quickly.
"I did. I do. I don't know. But thank you. For not calling. Or something. But I do want to talk now. Which is why I called. To talk," Buffy said, getting very confused somehow.
"Okay. We're talking. This is good. This is a step in the right direction. Right?"
"Right," Buffy answered firmly. "So, how are you Willow?"
"I'm good!" Willow exclaimed. "Well, pretty good. It's that time of the month, you know . . . Oz's time! Not mine!"
"I know," Buffy said.
"You do?" Willow asked.
"I always make sure I know when the full moon is. For you. I thought I'd call and keep you company," Buffy said.
"Oh! That's so nice! Thank you!" Willow exclaimed.
"You know, that's me, always trying to keep my friends happy. Except you know, when I'm being incredibly selfish and spoiled," Buffy said bitterly.
"You're not! I understand! We all understand. I mean, what you went through . . ." Willow trailed off and there was a second of silence.
"Willow, what exactly did Whistler tell you?" Buffy asked.
"He came in the day after . . . after everything happened, and told Giles that you were all right. I mean, that Angel hadn't hurt you. Your mom hadn't told us about the note yet. We sort of demanded more of an explanation, so he told us that . . . that my spell worked after Xander and Giles got out but it was . . . too late and you had to send Angel to Hell to save the world. That's it, right? That's all that happened. Xander says you tried but you couldn't keep Angel away from Acathla before the spell. I'm sorry," Willow whispered. Something about her last words caught in Buffy's mind.
"But I didn't know about the spell until he changed," Buffy said, confused.
"But Xander was supposed to tel—" Willow broke off suddenly. Buffy froze. She didn't need to hear the rest of the sentence. Xander had known the entire time, and he hadn't told her. If she had known maybe she could have . . . Better not to think of that now. There was a long silence on both sides of the phone.
"Buffy?" Willow whispered finally.
"He came back," Buffy said in a flat tone.
"What? Who? Xander?" Willow asked.
"Angel. He came back to the Earth. And he's forgiven me. We're together again. I just wanted you to know. Don't tell anyone else. And it doesn't make what Xander does all right. It just means I don't have to hurt him," Buffy said coldly, no emotion in her voice.
"Angel's back? And he's all right! That's so wonderful Buffy! Isn't it? Wonderful, I mean. It is, isn't it?"
"Wonderful," Buffy said, though her voice was still flat. And it was, only she couldn't seem to feel anything right that moment. Xander had betrayed her. One of her best friends . . . he had betrayed her. If he had told the truth she would have worked harder, could have stopped Angel. Could have stopped it all. But he had betrayed her.
"He didn't mean . . . I'm sure he's sorry. He didn't think it would happen like that Buffy," Willow said, pleading for Xander.
"He should have thought," Buffy said coldly.
"Just give him a chance—" Willow began, but Buffy cut her off.
"He had a chance. He blew it. Game over. He lost. Angel lost. We all lost. Giles said the vampires are coming back, so I'll probably come home soon. Tell Xander I don't want to see him when I come. At all. Or talk to him. Ever."
"I'll tell him," Willow said weakly.
"Good bye Will. I'm sorry I didn't cheer you up," Buffy said, her voice softening a little.
"It's okay. I'm glad Angel's all right," Willow ventured.
"So am I. More than I can say. I'll tell you the story sometime, but I should go now. I'll see you when I get home," Buffy promised.
"Okay. I miss you Buffy," Willow said.
"I miss you too Will. Tell Xander what I said. Good bye."
"Good bye," Willow whispered, and then Buffy hung up and there was silence on the line. Buffy took a deep breath and then crumpled into tears, hugging herself tightly. He had betrayed her, but hadn't she betrayed him first? Hadn't she betrayed them all?
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