seeking comfort: confessions/alone/finding someplace new
by nutchick
‘Owww.’ Buffy thought, as she tried to lift her head. ‘Well I guess I won’t be taking that test after all’ she continued trying to shift her body to sit upright. ‘God, I have to pee.’ As soon as she was sitting upright she wished she had never moved. Everything hurt, her ribs most of all.

Spike heard rustling and pulled himself into conciseness. Buffy was sitting up and seemed to have trouble breathing.

“Luv, what is it you need? I’ll get it for you. Just lay back down, okay?” Spike said sitting up and getting out of his little bed next to hers. He had great morning hair.

“That’s very nice of you, but this issue definitely falls into that of the non-Spike helping category. Can you press the button for the nurse, please?” Buffy didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but this was a little more than she could handle with all of Spike’s helpfulness.

“Miss Summers, you need to lay down. Why did you let her get up?” Star said looking directly at Spike.

“I didn’t, I mean she wouldn’t let me help her.” Spike said looking at Buffy, who was patiently waiting for them to pay attention to her and still trying to catch her breath.

“I need to pee.” She blurted out. The nurse ushered Spike out of the room and helped Buffy. When Spike was allowed to reenter, Buffy was laying down on the bed again. She was in pain, he could tell, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Pet?” Spike asked cautiously. “Do you want to talk about what’s been going on?” he looked into her big green eyes where tears were beginning to form.

“Not really, but I think you ought to know now.” Taking a deep breath, she began to tell her dread-full story.

“He came back from Korea upset because he didn’t get them to buy stock in his company. I was at home, and when he walked in the door he was so mad. I was watching t.v. and reading a magazine, when he yanked me off the couch by my hair. He started yelling about things being my fault that I had nothing to do with. It was my fault that her couldn’t see the stocks, it was my fault he got demoted, it was my fault that he didn’t pay the phone bill on time. Pointless thing that made him really upset.”

Buffy had begun to cry at the memory but kept her voice steady while she told him the story, his heart breaking the entire time. Looking at her being sad was killing him.

“He dragged me around the house showing me all the things he paid for that I couldn’t touch. Kind of takes the happy majik out of Christmas, if you know what I mean.” She giggled weakly as she thought about Santa. What a joke. Santa had stopped coming to her house long ago, but the memory still hurt. She tore her mind away from that and returned to her story.

“He hit me across the mouth and pushed me down the stairs telling me I wasn’t worth anything that he had bought. He told me that seeing and hearing the truth would make it understandable to someone as stupid as me.”

Buffy broke down into a fresh wave of tears trying to close her eyes and shut-off her emotions. For a 17 year-old, she was very mature. Spike sat next to her bed with his head in his hands. For no reason would he cry at this time. He needed to be strong for Buffy’s sake. ‘For such a pretty bird, she’s been through a lot. Wonder why she’s not all sixes and sevens?’ Trying to comfort her and get her to stop crying was pretty much out of the question because Spike didn’t ever have to and didn’t know how. His mum and dad were British, they only showed emotions to horses and dogs. He allowed her to continue and sat patiently for her to finish her story.

Buffy suddenly looked up and laughed hysterically, (not easy to do when your ribs are broken). “And to think I busted my ass in school to get to the top.” Finally realizing the pain, she stopped just a quickly as she had started.

“Well pet, I think it’s a good thing that you are always doing so well. I don’t do half as good as you do but that’s because I’m Spike, I’m the big bad, no one expects much from me, so I don’t do everything just to prove them wrong.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Maybe when I go back to school I could just drop out! I’ll get my g.e.d. and leave this stupid town with stupid people and stupid Hank. Hey have you gotten in touch with my mom?” she looked at Spike with big, hopeful, green eyes.

Spike sighed. As a matter of fact, they had not gotten in touch with Joyce Summers. She was completely gone without a trace. All her clothing, credit cards, shoes, and her car were gone. “Sorry luv, but I don’t think she stuck around. Everything is gone and no one answers the phone. Willow went over there and checked it out. Your house was a disaster pet.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to go? Why the fuck did she leave me? I know we wern’t getting along but god, does she want me to have to be all alone with him? I bet she left the second he was arrested. I don’t blame her though because he beat her too. But where the hell am I supposed to go?” Buffy closed her eyes for so long, Spike thought that she had fallen asleep.

“You can come live with me.” He said quietly and uncertain about what he was doing. ‘God you stupid prat, now she’s going to know you got it bad for her. She’s going to reject you and leave Sunnydale and get on with her own life like I don’t even exist. She just told me she planned to leave here when she got out.’
Spike thought to himself with his again silent berating. He looked at her again. ‘God, she’s so beautiful. What a beautiful Buffy.

“Do you really mean that?” she asked opening her eye’s

‘My beautiful Buffy’ he thought as he smiled.

“Yes luv. I really mean that.” Spike smiled to himself. He was looking at a beautiful girl who was going to be living with him! Spike! In his own house. ‘Oh damn, I have to go clean her out a space.’


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