Things We Want: 1
by Spikes Queen
The phone at the hotel rang. “Hello?” Angel asked.

“Angel, it’s Dawn. You need to come to Sunnydale immediately. Spike is in trouble and I don’t know what to do,” she said, tears in her voice.

“Dawn, relax. I’m on my way,” he said, hanging up.


Dawn went upstairs to where Spike was still sleeping. He was incredibly thin, and paler than usual. He had moved into Joyce’s room since Buffy’s death, to keep an eye on Dawn. She curled up with Spike and slept until Angel got there.

Angel sped all the way to Sunnydale with Cordelia. He knew it had to bad if Dawn had to call him. The car came to a screeching halt outside the house, and they both ran inside. Dawn and Spike were still asleep in Joyce’s room.

Angel sat next to Spike and Cordy gently woke Dawn.

“Thanks for coming. He won’t eat. He hasn’t eaten since…” Dawn trailed off.

“Dawn, it’s gunna be okay. I’ll make him better, but stay downstairs with Cordy until I say it’s okay to come up,” Angel said.

Dawn nodded and went downstairs with Cordy.

When he was sure they were downstairs he started. “Wake up, William,” he said, in his sire voice. It was gentle yet firm.

Spike stirred slightly before his eyes opened. “Angel?”

Angel sat back down. “You need to eat.”

“No, I don’t,” Spike said sitting up.

“Spike, don’t act like this. You’re killing yourself,” Angel said.

“So? It’s better then being here,” Spike said, his eyes filling with tears.

Angel pulled Spike into a hug. Even though they didn’t get along all the time, Spike felt safe in his sire’s arms.

Angel knew what Spike was going through. There was nothing Angel could say to make it better.

“Spike, Buffy would not want you like this,” Angel said.

“But it’s too hard. I came make this feeling go away. It hurts too much,” Spike whimpered.

“The feeling doesn’t go away. Come one. You need to eat,” Angel said, bring Spike to his feet.

They made their way downstairs where Dawn and Cordy were sitting in the kitchen. Dawn went over to Spike and he hugged her tightly.

Angel heated up some blood and stood next to Cordy.

The microwave beeped and Angel gave Spike the mug. Spike drowned it hungrily.

“Feel better?” Dawn asked.

“A little,” Spike answered.

Angel took the mug and rinsed it. “Okay, we still have a long way to go,” he said, taking Spike back up stairs.

“How did you deal with what happened?” Spike asked, getting back into bed.

Angel sat next to him. “Cordy and um… killing a lot of demons. Have you even tried to talk to Dawn?”

Spike leaned his head on Angel’s shoulder. “It still hurts.”

Angel put his arm around Spike. “I know,” he said, laying down with Spike. “Get some sleep though.”

Spike fell asleep quickly but Angel stayed with him. Spike whimpered and shook throughout the night, and Angel did everything to calm him down.

Downstairs, there was a flash of light. Then, there was Buffy, unconscious and sprawled at the foot of the stairs.

In the morning, Dawn peeked on Spike. Both vampires were still asleep, so she went downstairs. She stopped short when she saw Buffy.

She ran to her sister’s side. “Buffy?” She asked, turning her on to her back.

Buffy groaned. “Dawnie?”

“Buffy,” Dawn said, throwing her arms around Buffy. “Let’s get you off the floor,” she said, helping Buffy to the couch. “There’s someone here who would really like to see you.”

Buffy nodded as Dawn went upstairs and entered Joyce’s room quietly. “Angel,” she whispered, touching his arm. “You need to come downstairs.

Angel slipped from Spike’s arms and he whimpered, but they still went downstairs anyways. “Buffy,” Angel whispered, when he got to the bottom of the stairs.

Buffy got up and went toward him. They hugged for a long time, before Angel pulled away. “You need to go up and see Spike.”

“He’s here?” Buffy asked, a little hopefully.

“Yeah, he’s in mom’s room. But he’s in really bad shape,” Dawn said, softly.

Buffy looked at Angel before going upstairs. Spike was shaking when she went into her moms room. She frowned at his discomfort and slid in the bed with him. She moved into his arms and held him while he calmed. She kept watch over him until he woke up.

As Spike swam back to consciousness, he got a big whiff of Buffy. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and was greeted by Buffy’s face.

“Hi,” she said.

“This has got to be some kinda cruel dream,” Spike whispered.

“No, I’m real. Dawn and Angel said you were in bad shape. I can see that you missed me,” she said, running her hands over his face.

“Yeah, I missed you. It’s been so hard with out you,” Spike whispered.

“Lets go downstairs and let Angel and Dawn know that you’re okay. I need to know what happened to me,” she said, getting out of bed.

Spike hastily got up and followed her, not wanting to be away from her.

“And if you ever refuse to eat again, I’ll kick your ass,” she said, slipping her hand into his.

Buffy walked in to the kitchen with Spike’s hand in hers. Angel and Dawn both looked relieved when they saw the two of them.

Dawn went up and hugged Spike as Buffy went over to Angel. “I’m okay, Nibblet,” he said.

“Thanks, for helping him,” Buffy said, looking up at Angel.

“Buffy, he needs someone to talk to. He’s not 100% better. He needs to eat,” Angel said, eying his childe carefully.

Dawn released Spike and he drowned 3 packets of blood before he was satisfied.

“I don’t want anyone to find out I’m back until I’ve had a chance to talk to each of you,” she said, taking Angel to the living room.

“You alright?” Angel asked.

“I’m better. Do you have to go back to L.A. anytime soon? I’d like you to stay. For me and for Spike. I know he needs me, but he I think he needs you more. Don’t abandon him please.” Buffy said.

“I’ll stay until he’s better. I won’t abandon him. Not again. I need to get through to him somehow. I’m not gunna let him shut me out,” he said, hugging Buffy. “You want Dawn next?”

Buffy smiled and released Angel. “Yes, please.”

Dawn came in a few minutes later and gave her sister a hug. “I missed you so much,” Dawn said.

“I missed you too,” Buffy said, pulling back. “Tell me about Spike.”

“He’s been living here. He watches over me so no one else has to and he gets along with Xander now. I know he’s not your favorite person, but I’d like him to stay. He takes really good care of me, but lately, the grief has been killing him. He blames himself for your death. If he had been quicker, you wouldn’t of had to jump,” Dawn said, looking at the ground.

“He’s not going anywhere. I’ll talk to him and see if I can make it better,” Buffy said, softly.

3“Buffy, he loves you more then anything. I need him and I don’t think he’ll be able to take rejection from you,” Dawn said.

“I know,” Buffy said.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Angel was trying to make Spike open up.

“Where’s Cordy?” Spike asked.

“She went to visit some friends. She figured that this situation was too personal for her to be involved in,” Angels said. “I know that you hate me but you can’t keep your feelings inside of you anymore.”

“I don’t hate you,” Spike said, softly. “Not anymore.”

“I know it was hard for you after I left. Maybe if I hadn’t left you wouldn’t be like this. Buffy’s here now and if you won’t talk to me, maybe you should try talking to her,” Angel said.

“I don’t wanna lose her again. Everyone keeps getting taken away from me. You left, then Darla, the Dru, Joyce, then Buffy. If everyone would just stay put and not leave me, this world would be so much easier to live in,” Spike said, leaning his hands on the counter.

Angel put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Buffy asked me to stay for a few days and I told her I’d stay until you’re better. I do have to go back to L.A. eventually but if you need me, I’ll come back. I promise.”

“Well I need you now. Buffy won’t understand what I’m going through,” Spike said, looking at his sire.

“I’m going to talk to Buffy’s about some things, and hopefully one of your problems will be solved,” Angel said, just as Dawn came in.

“Spike, Buffy would like to talk to you,” she said.

Spike sighed and cautiously went into the living room. He joined Buffy on the couch. “You okay, Luv?”

Buffy nodded and crawled into his lap. “Yeah, I’m better. Dawn said that you’ve been living him, and I don’t mind if you continue to stay here.”

Spike hesitantly put his hands on her waist. “If you want me to stay I will,” he said, softly.

“Spike,” she said, looking at him. “It’s not your fault.” She placed a finger over his lips when he tried to argue. “No matter how much you blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault.”

Spike closed his eyes against his tears. “But I promised you I would protect her,” he whimpered. “And she got hurt, and you died.”

Buffy kissed his forehead tenderly and held him tightly. “It’s not your fault. You did protect her, after I died, didn’t you? The world isn’t over yet,” she said.

Spike hugged her close to him. “I just can’t believe you’re here,” he whispered.

After a few minutes, they reluctantly let each other go. “I should call all my friends,” she said.

“I will,” Dawn said from the door way. “You go upstairs and calm down.”

About 20 minutes later, the gang was assembled in the living room. “Angel, what are you doing here?” Willow asked, from the couch.

“I was needed here,” Angel said, standing next to Spike.

“There’s something that you all should know,” Dawn said, guiding Buffy downstairs.

“I don’t believe it,” Willow said. “It worked!”

“What worked?” Spike asked.

“We did a spell to bring you back,” Willow said.

“Whose ‘we’?” Dawn asked.

“Willow, Xander, Tara, and I,” Anya said, bluntly.

Buffy saw Spike try to keep his demon at bay and gently pulled him to the kitchen. “Spike, calm down.”

“I’m calm,” Spike said, growling and vamping out without even realizing it.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist, hoping that he would chill.

Spike looked down and smiled at her. His face returned to normal, and he brought his arms around her shoulders.

“It’s okay,” she said, running her hands over his back.

“No, it’s not,” Spike said, pulling away. "I love having you back but magic is dangerous. Some one could have gotten hurt. Like Dawn. You jumped because of Dawn’s blood. Something could have happened to her and no one would’ve known why.”

Buffy put her hands on his face. “No one is gunna take us away from you, I promise.”

Spike relaxed a little and brought his hands up to hers.

Buffy pouted. “I don’t wanna go back in there,” she mumbled.

Spike smiled. “I know, but we gotta,” he said, sliding his hand into hers.

They walked back into the living room, and everyone raised an eyebrow except Dawn and Angel.

“What’s with the hand holding?” Xander asked.

“Xander,” Willow said. “It’s Buffy’s choice. Relax.”

“Where’s Giles?” Buffy asked.

“England. I’ll call him,” Dawn said.

“Thanks, Dawnie. Now we know how I got here, now I wanna know why,” she said, looking at everyone.

“We need you,” Willow said.

“A lot of us needed you,” Angel said, looking at his childe. “You and I need to discuss something very important.”

Buffy went to the porch with Angel. “What’s wrong?”

“Take Spike’s chip out,” Angel said, crossing his arms. “It’s wrong.”

“I know, but it’s necessary,” Buffy said.

“No, it’s not. Buffy, Spike loves you and Dawn more then life itself. The chip is keeping him from living- or unliving. But his love for you and Dawn will keep him from killing. If you really care about him, then you know I’m right.”

“Angel, we don’t know a single thing about the chip except that he can’t hurt humans,” Buffy said.

“We’ll find a way. One way or the other,” Angel said, going back inside.

Buffy followed and sat in Spike’s lap.

Later that night, Buffy pulled Willow aside. “Will, I need a huge favor.”

“Anything,” Willow said.

“Can you remove Spike’s chip with magic?” Buffy asked,

“Maybe, but…”

“Thanks Willow. If you do it, I’ll explain after,” she said, going downstairs.

She found Spike in the kitchen. “Hey you,” she said, going up to him.

Spike turned around and smiled. “You okay, Luv?”

“I asked Willow to find a spell to remove your chip,” Buffy said.

Spike’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You don’t need it,” Buffy said.

“Buffy, are you sure?” Spike asked.

“Yes. I’m positive. Things are gunna be different. Starting with the chip that’s in your head,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “But Willow thinks it’ll take awhile.”

“No rush,” Spike said, kissing her head.

“No rush,” Buffy whispered.


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