Pinky the Vampire Slayer: Part Eight
by Kirbyclause
The Brain ran into the computer lab. He began talking before most of the people he was attempting to communicate with turned away from Willow's detailed explanation of the differences in the new 90's Barbie and the traditional model. However, it seemed no one was particularly offended by the intteruption.

"There's vampires! A horde of them!", the Brain exclaimed. "Well, duh.", Buffy replied. "That's why there's a Slayer." "We must get Pinky my robotic suit.", the Brain continued without really listening to her. "I left it out back."

And with that, the cranially gifted rodentia family mammal extricated his corpreal person from those particular coordinates of the space - time continuum. "Wow, the big headed mouse left here pretty quick.", Buffy overstated the obvious. "You think he really has a robotic suit that'll help Pinky?" "You really think a genetically altered lab mouse actually told you that he had one?", asked Xander. The group looked at each other. "Let's go.", they all stated at once.


* * *
Pinky stood, fur matted with a mixture of blood and sweat and dust, ears and tail drooping, one toothpick in his right hand from a box of four hundred. But he stood, and stood over an inch of the ashes of the vampire rat horde. Then his sense perked up.

"WHO DID THIS?!", and enraged Snowball screamed. "It wasn't me, it was the one armed man.", Pinky replied. "It matters not,", a strangely calm hamster told his nemesis. "When I open the Hellmouth, they will all be recreated. My power will still stand. As for you..."

A vampire bat, with a head band endowed with the symbol of the rising sun, fluttered down in front of Pinky. First swung a wing at the Slayer's head, which the Mousy Pink Defender ducked. Pinky grabbed the legs of the now reversed bat, and tumbled him over. Unfortunately, he it distracted him from the other two.

Second and Third each grabbed an arm of Pinky and slammed him backwards into the shelf they were nearest to. They released the Slayer, sending Pinky flying through the air until he crashed into a shelf across the room. Debris fell upon him, the Slayer was buried, but all was not lost-One particular box had fallen from the shelf and was now openned before the Slayer.

A box of pre sharpenned pencils. Pinky regained his feet and stomped on one of the erasers. The newly drafted spear lept into the mouse's hands. "Now let's see how you scream, vamp.", the mouse detailed.

The vampire bats looked at each other, and then shrugged shoulders as if to state their consent. The three returned thier gaze to Pinky, and let loose a scream only a vampire that had used echo location in life could scream. The rubble around Pinky exploded, and the Slayer was buffetted by the sound wave. But he still stood.

Pinky started, "Ask a stupid question..." "And you're probably an idiot.", First finished. "You have destroyed the horde...", began Second. "So prepare to die", finished Third. And together they charged.

Pinky caught them all broad side on the staff, and forced them a step back. He made a stab at First, on his left, only to be kicked on the side of the knee by Third. At least that saved him from the swiping wing of Second, who Pinky then swept to the floor with the pencil. He saw Third lunging, rolled onto his back with his feet to First, caught Third on point of the pencil. The exploding dust allowed Pinky to regain his stance.

But not a rest, for the others were on him like money on Bill Gates. First quickly tried to mash the pencil to the ground, but his sharp wing only succeded in cutting it in twain. Second kicked Pinky's left side, which he blocked using the side with the eraser. First's closing wing was scratched with the point of the other end. The two vampire bats lunged on Pinky at the same exact time. Pinky spun and put the two peices of pencil behind him.

One bat got pink eraser shavings in his fur. The other exploded in a cloud of dust. "No!", declared Snowball. The vampire hamster held up a ball with a cork in it. "Potion, make my monster grow!", he declared while hurling it to the feet of the bat. A strange fog enveloped the bat, and only it's shadow showed. And that shadowed showed that the bat was expanding, all the way up to five feet tall (over boasting Pinky twelve fold). But the sound of a door openning gave hope.

"I'm telling you, this is a break through for feminism everywhere.", Willow was telling Xander while trying to hold up the torso. Xander, while shifting the weight of the left leg of Brain's suit, replied, "And I'm telling you, that if women want to be treated as amicable as possible, they would wear bikini's all the time." Angel actually dropped his false human appearance at that statement, and turned to the boy next to him. Xander looked him right in the eye. "I can assure you, that if Buffy came into my office wearing a bikini, she'd probably get my job, let alone a job." "Can we keep me from being your swimsuit example", Buffy asked, temporarily forgetting about the large mechanical suit the group was attempting to manuever down the stairs to the basement. Unfortunately, gravity didn't forget the suit.

After many bruise giving jars, they came to rest on the floor of the basement in a great tangle. The giant vampire bat laughed and howled.

Buffy looked at Giles through his glasses, which she was now wearing. "You must have four thousand/twenty vision, Giles.", the human Slayer told him. Giles tested his limb pinned underneath Buffy and Willow. "If only Snyder could see me now.", he commented sarcastically. Willow looked into the eyes of the boy she was lying on top of, "Gee, you're lumpy, Xander." "Sorry about getting my hand caught in your pocket Will.", Xander said back. "Why do you need such a big flashlight anyway?", the teen asked her. Angel, with his fangs bared and glaring at Xander, told him coldly, "That's not her pocket."

Xander yelped and the pile disintegrated in his haste to distance himself. Angel jumped to his feet, and tried to take a step toward the kid. However, Buffy hanging onto Angel's leg gave him the chance to maintain his temper. And during it all, a certain mouse crawled into a certain suit.

As soon as it was activated, Pinky and the suit tunred to the vampire bat who, for some reason, had found a reason to stop laughing. Pinky kicked the suit's leg out, and it caught the vampire bat in the ribs. The suit spun and lashed a leg out, cartwheeling the vampire to the floor. Pinky pulled his last toothpick, which had managed to stay fixed to the mess of his fur, and fell from the robot's neck hole to the chest of the vampire. As if spiking a football, Pinky threw the toothpick into the fur beneath him. And fell to the floor with a thud, after the last vampire bat disintegrated.


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