Days Of Wine & Roses: The Good The Bad and The Buffy
by Fairfax
Buffy’s entire body gave a convulsive jerk as she jolted back into consciousness, then guiltily glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. To her left Lee, her study team mate and sworn ally raised a pierced eyebrow then passed Buffy a mint.

‘My hero,’ she mouthed, then fixed her gaze to the front of the lecture theatre, determined not to drift off again.

She was so tired, concentration was impossible and she could feel her eyelids drooping once more. For the hundredth time Buffy said to herself that had she known Watcher training would be so tough then she would never have bluffed her way into it. For three long months she’d taken all the lectures, physical training and extra classes that Mr Stanger could throw at her and was still failing. At this rate the only way Giles would realize she was here would be when she got summoned to his office to be kicked out.

For the first few days she’d been constantly on edge, expecting to run into him at any time and was half dreading his reaction, half thrilled at the thought of seeing him again. Eventually the tension got to her, so she enquired as casually as she could into the Head of the Council’s whereabouts and was horrified to learn he’d gone on an extended business trip. This was confirmed by Giles’ emails to her, he’d even met up with Dawn in Singapore, exhausted and sore after another long day of intellectual and physical endurance Buffy had wanted to scream in jealous disappointment when she read the messages from her sister and her Watcher saying what a great time they’d had.

She could quit, at any time she could say who she really was, then it would all be over. The fact that escape would be so simple made Buffy more determined to stretch Slayer stamina to the limit and see it through for as long as possible.

The title of today’s lecture had given her a real boost. ‘The Career of Buffy Summers: Part One’ that last bit was the best - she required serialization. After a brief introduction and a list of Buffy’s achievements, Mrs Siegle had turned out the lights and as slides showing exerts from Giles’ diaries, pictures of demons and diagrams of fights, flickered before her, Buffy had surrendered to the darkness and fallen asleep.

‘Moving on to what is perhaps the most controversial aspect of Miss Summers’ interpretation of her calling we turn to her romantic involvement with the vampires Angelus and William the Bloody, known during these times respectively as Angel and Spike.’ Mrs Siegle’s voice dripped with disdain as she said their names. ‘As we will discover during the course of these entanglements Miss Summers would make some very poor decisions undermining the successful working practices the so-called ’Scooby Gang’ had established.’

Way to be impartial Mrs Siegle, thought Buffy. Make me sound like a whore and a moron why don’t you?

‘Firstly Angelus…’

It was awful, Buffy slumped in her seat wishing she could fall through the floor, as the rest of her class earnestly took notes and posed questions. She could’ve worked out that the official line of the Watchers’ Council was unlikely to be pro Slayers getting it on with vamps, but Mrs Siegle made it all sound so over-emotional and stupid, unfortunately that’s rather a good definition of love when you’re seventeen.

‘What’s wrong?’ Lee whispered. ‘You’ve got to make some notes, there’s bound to be a test on this.’

‘Oh I think I’ll pass that one just fine.’

‘Are you feeling alright?’

Buffy caught the phrase, ‘leading us to the night Angelus was slain’ and decided that she wasn’t. As she was getting to her feet to sneak out, the door opened and Giles strolled in. Buffy dropped back down, forcing herself to assess the situation rather than panic. The only light in the room came from the projector that she was sat directly in front of in the back row, so there was no chance that Giles coming in at the front would see anything other than tiered rows of shadows. As long as the lights didn’t go on until the end and she was the first out of the back door then she’d be in the clear. She knew that she’d get caught eventually, but had always imagined that it would be in less public circumstances. It couldn’t happen like this, it just couldn’t.

‘Forgive the interruption, Mrs Siegle, everyone.’ said Giles. ‘I thought it was high time I sat in on a class and as you will appreciate found the title of this one irresistible.’

There were a few uneasy giggles.

‘Of course. Won’t you sit down?’

Buffy stopped breathing as Giles walked up the stairs, nearer and nearer to where she was, and didn’t start again until Giles was sat on the end of one of the middle rows and the lecture continued.

******************

‘…However perverse it may seem I am actually, in this present moment, grateful to Angelus for providing me with such a compelling distraction from the inescapable fact that I have failed in my duty as a Watcher completely. Not only did I betray my Slayer, but I have lost her as well. And so it is that the bond I felt had been forged between Buffy and myself has been proved to be weak enough for her to believe that I would be of no assistance during this most testing of times. I am not such a hypocrite that I will do anything other than respect Buffy’s decision to run, however I cannot adequately express my sadness that she felt that was the only course of action available to her.’

As Mrs Siegle read the final paragraph of a longer exert taken from Giles’ diary the tension in the room was palpable, vastly increased by the fact that the man who’d written those words was in the room with them. Each of the trainees was thinking the same thing. In the those circumstances what would they have done?

The exception was Buffy, she could barely think at all. Why had he never told her what had happened that night? After all that when Buffy asked him to go to the mansion and look after Angel, Giles had done it. Just like he’d listened to her babbling on about how glad she was Angel was back. That she didn’t know at the time was no comfort now, as Buffy realised with shame that she had never asked. She frantically scribbled a note and passed it to Lee.

‘Why me?’ He wrote back.

‘I’m always asking questions, Mrs Siegle kind of has a down on me.’

Lee smiled, his desire to please Buffy won over the fact he didn’t like speaking in class.

‘Can I ask why Miss Summers was never made fully aware of what had occurred?’

‘Mr Giles, perhaps you should answer that.’

Mrs Siegle gestured in his direction.

‘Certainly. What purpose would that have served?’

Lee found another note thrust into his hand and continued nervously.

‘When Angel, Angelus came back then Miss Summers may have reacted in a different way which would have made the ‘Scooby Gang’ stronger rather than driving them apart.’

‘I wonder how you know that,’ mused Giles. ‘Angel’s return was indeed a source of conflict between us all, however the effects were temporary. Buffy loved Angel very much and and I am sure that the knowledge of exactly what took place would have had no i-influence on her behaviour at all.’

‘Really?’ Another student asked.

‘Angelus had harmed and terrorized those closest to Buffy, murdered Jenny Calendar leaving her body in my home and seriously injured her best friend. Buffy knew all this and yet was delighted to have Angel back, further details were equally unlikely to concern her.’

Echoing out from the darkness, Giles’ voice sounded perfectly calm, which upset Buffy even more. This unemotional recollection made it all sound much worse than it had been. It wasn’t like that, Buffy screamed the denial so loudly in her mind that for a split second she thought she’d yelled it out loud.

‘Her love for Angel allowed Buffy to effortlessly separate the demon from the vampire with a soul. Regretfully she did not a-appear to consider that those of us who’d been his victims in one way or or another would have significantly more trouble doing so.’

There were no more questions and the lecture wound up shortly afterwards. Mrs Siegle dismissed them all by saying;

‘Today, you have had your first insight into the loyalty and courage a Watcher must possess. Some Watchers die for their Slayers, others fulfil their duties fully prepared to do so. As you leave here this morning, ask yourselves - am I prepared?’

The force of her words created a virtual stampede from the trainees desperate to escape from such a charged, solemn atmosphere. So Buffy wasn’t the first out the door, caught in the crush she was still in the room when the lights came on, she threw herself on the floor, hoping that the seats would keep her hidden until Giles left.

‘Well done, I think you’ve successfully scared the crap out of all them,’ she heard Giles tease.

‘I’m surprised you wanted to hear this.’

‘I’d come in the hope that Miss Winters was going to have one of the outbursts I gather she is famous for.’

Buffy was pleased to hear Mrs Siegle give an affectionate chuckle.

‘She was unusually quiet today, hopefully the silence meant she was taking it all in,’ her tone changed to worry. ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Liar,’ she accused.

‘Listening to all that was…strange, but nothing more.’

‘It must have been horrific.’

There was a pause.

‘At the time, yes.’

Giles was talking so quietly, Buffy could barely make the words out.

‘Really all it amounted to was a couple of broken fingers and a truly expert beating, everything healed quickly and well. No damage, no scars.’

‘Psychologically?’

He sounded amused.

‘Is that a question a mere instructor should ask the Head of the Watchers’ Council?’

Mrs Siegle was obviously upset.

‘To hell with all that!’ She said passionately. ‘What if Lynn asks her old college friend Rupert the same question?’

‘Then he’d say that he was fine and assure her that it wasn’t a lie.’

‘I’m pleased for you,’ Mrs Siegle took a long, ragged breath before continuing brightly. ‘How are things with you and Joanna?’

‘If you’re going to interrogate me about my love life, can we at least have a cup of tea?’ Pleaded Giles.

Their voices started to fade as they walked out.

‘Love life? I thought it was early days.’

The door banged shut. Buffy was left bewildered and alone.

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