Pinky the Vampire Slayer: Part Six
by Kirbyclause
Pinky and the Brain stared on in disbelief. "Allow me to rationalize this.", said the Brain. "Not only are you the vampire Slayer, and the adult human your Watcher; but I and Pinky are the Watcher and the Slayer only for mice instead of humans?"

"That is what I surmise.", Giles replied. "You fit the prophecy perfectly as well as the circumstances that you are learning of your fates." Brain raised an eyebrow quizically, "So you're trying to tell us that not only are you not going to stop the vampire mice that are attemting to activate the Hellmouth-you're stating that Pinky and I are the ones whose duty it is to stop them, even though this is the first we heard of either of the roles. Oh, this is going to be a regular excercise in amusement."

"Buffy,", began Giles. "I'm going to bring Brain up to speed as much as I possibly can in my office. Could I impose on you to show Pinky a few of the basics of your training?" "Yes," Angel agreed. "You should give Pinky a good right seeing to." Giles smiled but tried to hold it in. "After Pinky gets a couple of leg overs, he should be a real manly mouse.", the vampire continued. Giles couldn't contain his laughter as he escorted the Brain to his office.


* * *
The Brain was on top of Giles desk, flipping pages at near supersonic speed through the fifth book Giles had given him to read. "I know that you are a mouse Brain, but you're supposed to read the book not just glance at the pictures and say you did." The Brain, without taking his gaze from the book, put on an annoyed expression, "Actually, my genetic engineering allows me to read upwards of ten thousand words per minute; I have restricted myself to this pace only to be aware of any knowledge given to you by your experience you wish to divulge."

"Well, if you are able to coherently speak,", Giles said sarcastically. "Perhaps you might tell me why your Slayer isn't auhm...female." "Of course.", stated the Brain. "Both Pinky and I are genetically altered. While the genetic coding for potential Slayers are on both X chromosones, Pinky has the missing genetic code of his Y chromosone on the others throughout his DNA." The Brain looked up from his book, "That makes a lot of sense considering his predisposition to certain...fashion statements he has made in the past." With that, the Brain returned to flipping pages.

"Do you know how these mice are going to open the gateway?", he asked Giles. "Probably by chanting some magic spell while focussing their demonic energies.", the human replied. The Brain stopped reading, then focussed his eyes on air as if trying to make sense of the impossible. "You probably think of evolution as a theory, don't you? Do you at least accept the earth as being round, Librarian?"


* * *
"This should make an acceptable practice dummy.", declared Willow. Willow then stood the Ken doll on the main table in front of Pinky. "Now who am I going to demenstrate on?", Buffy asked. Angel stepped forward, "The obvious choice is me.". "Not so fast.", Xander said while blocking Angel's hand. "I'll show you what you can learn from a REAL dummy...er sparring partner."

After Angel gestured for Xander to be as foolish as he wanted to be, the Slayerette took his ground before Buffy. "Now watch carefully Pinky.", Buffy told her rodent counterpart. Buffy then grabbed Xander's head and flipped him over her, then rested her knee in his stomach. "Man," Xander muttered, "the things I do to cop a feel." Buffy punched him on his chest. "I'm sorry!", Xander gasped.

"For what?", Buffy asked, not having heard Xander's comment. "For really being a dumby?", Angel supposed. After catching his breath, Xander turned his head to Angel. "Didn't you say you wanted to do this?", Xander pleaded. "Actually,", Angel replied,"I'm learning a lot. Buckle your safety belt.", the vampire quipped.

Only then did Pinky fall off the table.



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At the sound of a crash, the Brain looked up from his 7th book (well after he stopped trying to explain interdimensional physics to Giles.) Both Watchers ran into the Library, only to see Pinky sprawled on the floor. "Alas, poor Pinky!", the Brain explained.

"I'm not a lass, Brain. That was just the costume.", Pinky responded apparently undaunted by falling several times his own height. "Giles, I wasn't aware of the abilities I possessed before I saw a vampire.", Buffy stated. "Maybe we should give Pinky a few trinkets and send him off?"

"A Slayer is supposed to be trained, nearly from birth, Buffy.", Giles objected. "However, Pinky seems to be more of an unorthodox Slayer than you. Perhaps that is not such an unworthy an idea as I would suppose." With a spurt of "Goody!", Buffy got off of Xander. Xander in turn crawled to where Angel was sitting.

"I know just the thing.", Buffy said happily. She took off one of her cross shaped ear rings and handed it to Buffy. "Hey, I've been fighting the forces of darkness for nearly a semester now, and I've never got an ear ring.", Xander muttered. Angel whispered back to him, "I've given her a leather jacket and stuck my toungue down her throat, yet I haven't gotten an ear ring."

"What are you two talking about?", asked Willow. Xander and Angel looked at each other. "Football", Xander answered. "Politics", Angel spouted simultaneously. The two males looked at each other again, then began talking over each other. "Well, you know the Superbowl...The champions of that game get...Like, a phone call and stuff...from the president, you know?...It's like very patriotic to hear it."

Buffy dismissed their babbling and tried to affix the peice of jewelry to Pinky's fur. "I've got just the thing.", Willow offered. She took off Xander's freindship bracelet and hung it like a sash over Pinky, and the ear ring was fixed to that. "Now that's just cold-blooded.", Xander told Angel.

"I will need supplies for my 'offering' to the Pink Slayer.", the Brain told Giles. "A paper clip, a rubber band, and a box of tooth picks. "Gee, Brain.", Pinky said. "I don't think the vampires will mind terribly if we have spinach stuck in our teeth." "Don't force me to injure you on your first day, Pinky.", the Brain stated, agrivated.


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