Altered Chemistry: 1: James Bond
by Kirbyclause
Buffy walked across and all black background, as seen from inside a vampire's mouth. Double 'O' Slayer is decked out in a full evening gown ensemble; with white, satin, elbow length gloves and matching white silver crucifix. She quickly spun toward the vampires mouth, pulled out a palm size Whalter PPK cross bow and fired. The teeth turn brown, crack, and explode to dust.
* * *
When the dust cleared, the Sunnydale Funeral home can be plainly seen through a camera's point of veiw. G is in the library, over looking the graveyard with several monitors gathering signals from cameras strewn about the graveyard. XanderPenny sat typing galantly on a computer, while W simply paced. "Buffy, we can't get a bead on you.", Giles whispered into his head set.
"Then they can't get a bead on me either.", Buffy reminded him. Buffy was meticulously dressed in black ops apparel, and had a full size automatic crossbow hanging on a strap from her shoulder. Buffy lept out of the bush she was hiding in in the graveyard, ran straight for the nearest window in the funeral home and crashed straight through.
The vampire inside spun quickly to her. She fired, and the vampire burst into dust. "Buffy!", G's voice hissed through her headset. "Where are you?!" "Sorry about that, G.", the secret slayer told him. She waved a hand in front of her face to ward off the dust. "I just had to clear the air a bit."
"I've penetrated the outer wall, and am not detected.", Buffy told the librarian over the headset. "I'm now making my way to the morgue." She quietly slipped down the hall, checking carefully for any more gaurds of the Order of Orelius along the way. She stopped when she heard voices coming from a room at the end of the hall.
"Make way for the Annointed.", the voice said. "He hath been sired. Now, only we shall rule the earth. Do you realize what this means for the Slayer?!", the vampire continued. Buffy burst into the room and started shooting with her automatic. "I'm going to have a higher cleaning bills?", Double 'O' Slayer asked as a wave of dust covered her.
The surviving vampires pulled out uniform, Russian made, infantry rifles and returned fire. Buffy ran two steps and dove over the table which held Pork & Beans body. Bullets bounced off the surgical grade steel as the vampires tried to totally destroy Buffy. She held her cross bow over head, just clearing the table and let off a spray of arrows. The vampires cowered their way out of the room, but still pinned Buffy under her cover. Then the Pork & Bean's body started to move.
The secret Slayer snatched a hose leading to the cremation oven. The hose immediately started spewing a stream of natural gas. Buffy pointed the silver crucifix around her neck at in front of the hose's mouth, squeezed the sides, and let a laser beam ignite the expelling gas. Buffy jumped up and started blasting things with incredible heat.
Double 'O' Slayer shot the stream of fire through the doorway and several vampires keeping her covered ignited. She turned the hose on Pork & Beans, killing him instantly. She let another blast out in the hallway to keep the remaining enemy at bay. Buffy then turned the hose on a window barred from the inside.
The plaster holding the bars in started to heat up, expand, and finally crack. Just as the bars fell off the wall, a particularly brave set of vampires burst into the room with rifles blazing. But Buffy was already on the move, running to the window. At the perfect moment she jumped through it, shattering the glass and pushing herself back into the grave yard.
The vampires shot at her through the window, but the secret slayer was moving fast and got away. One of the vampires called to the shooters, and motioned them to approach. He held up an oversized hair beret. When he turned it over, he found a small hole on the underside. Another vampire picked up a grenade pin from the floor. They realized what the beret really was too late.
Buffy watched as her hidden grenade's blast ripped through the gas main. The entire side of the building exploded in a huge fire ball, and the other side collapsed inward. "Buffy! Buffy! We've lost visual contact. What's going on? Are you okay?", G asked rapidly through her head set. "Don't worry, G.", Buffy told him. "Some like it hot."
* * *
Buffy walks on the long leg of a giant bronze crucifix suspended in front of a golden sunset.
"See her move in school and nightclubs. Give informants at all the pubs."
The back ground changes from a golden sunset to well tanned, extremely attractive, naked but hidden in shadow men. Buffy smoothly turns, pointing her Whalter PPK cross bow behind her.
"She'll be seduced with and an angelic face, then she won't catch the evil's bitter taste."
A male's mouth opens on the from the side as the giant cross slowly fades. A PPK cross bow appears from it and fires.
"There's nothing so cleveeeer... Nor such a risky endeavooooor. I'll make sure kitten doesn't fret. Then the lion will be my-TEACHER'S PET!"
Computer chips, compact disks, magnetic diskettes, and other information devices fall upon an apathetic Buffy Summers.
"There's only one way to kill her, And that way is to love her. I'll show her only my soul... and hide my heart made of coal."
A very attractive, nude yet hidden in shadows, male vampire sneeks up on Buffy. Double 'O' Slayer whirls into the trademark crouching position, fires the PPK, and ever so quickly the vampire explodes into dust.
"There's nothing so cleveeer...
Nor such a deadly endeavooor.
I'll instruct her about the evil threat.
Then she will become my...
TEACHER'S PEEEEETTT! My teacher's pet...myteacherspet...
* * *
ONE WEEK EARLIER
Buffy Summers walked into the library. XanderPenny looked up from his computer. "I heard your last date nearly lost their head.", he smirked referring to Amy. Buffy took off her purse and threw it. Its strap caught exactly on a nearby hat rack. "When are you going to get out from behind that desk, show the world what a man you are?", she asked the boy.
XanderPenny got up, picked up a folder and walked in front of Buffy. "G will see you now.", he said coyly. "And I think you know what a man I am." Buffy smiled, and walked into G' office.
"Well it's about time you got here, Double 'O' Slayer.", the librarian scolded. "I'm terribly sorry, I just had to get a bit of a danish out my teeth.", Buffy apologized. Owen spotted Buffy through G's window and waved. Buffy winked back.
"Are you paying attention, Double 'O' Slayer?", G asked Buffy. "Of course,", she replied. "You stated that there were two murders, one being a homeless man that was found bloodless and shreaded, the other being Dr. Gregory who was found beheaded. They're considered unrelated by the police, but sources indicate otherwise due to the Hellmouth Chaos Mechanic projections.", Buffy stated.
G never failed to be surprised by his best secret slayer's frightening omiscience. "Yes, that's correct.", he told her. "I've arranged for you to meet with a defector from Visionary Activists of Maniacal, Purposeful, Ingenious, Really Evil Stuff."
"Why would we want to hear from an ex-member of V.A.M.P.I.R.E.S.?", Buffy asked. G nodded, "I support your concern, Double 'O' Slayer. However, he claims to have information regarding the killer of the slash victim. You'll meet him at the Bronze, after your obligatory stopover with W."
Buffy Summers nodded and left.
* * *
Buffy walked into the chemistry lab. Amy's special effects show was in full tilt over a batch of chemicals. Chris poked a dead frog with electrodes, and the animal started to twitch. Buffy then spotted W, and walked over to the girl.
"Oh, there you are Double 'O' Slayer.", W commented. The inventor and developer then gave a signal to another person in the chem lab. The man put something in his mouth and turned to a test dummy. "That device shoots a high temperature flame at any thing in its path.", W informed the secret slayer. The man parted his lips and burned up the dummy. "I call it a 'Hellmouth'.", W declared, perhaps too pleased with her own pun.
"Anyway, latest intelligence reports from a specialist being held in unique facilities in London indicate that Dr. Gregory's beheading was done by a non-human that bit it off.", W informed. The inventor handed Buffy a hair band. "Hidden inside this hair peice is a special recorder that has the sounds of nearly every known animal. You can match up the sound to identify the beast should you come into contact with it."
W then picked up a silver crucifix on a silver chain. "Besides having the typical laser embedded, as well as the side arm grenades, when you tug on it your Citroen will engage an intercept course with you." "You mean like this?", Buffy asked as she nearly pulled on the cross. "Please, Double 'O' Slayer. The rubbish people are already nearly on strike from the many times you've totalled the car. Perhaps this could be the one mission you leave it in one piece?", W chided.
* * *
Later that night, Buffy walked into the Bronze. Decked out in a typical jet black evening gown, she strolled across the floor catching the eye of every man in the building. She eventually came to stop at a table where black jack was being played.
Buffy called a waiter over, and traded two thousand dollar bills for chips. She placed all the chips on one bet. A man with black spiky hair, dressed entirely in black except for a white t-shirt nodded to her, acknowledging the bet. The dealer gave Summers one card face down and a king face up. He then proceeded to deal himself two cards, both kings. "House holds twenty.", he declared. "Hit me.", Buffy told him. The dealer gave her another card, a nine.
"Hit me.", Buffy repeated. "But you have nineteen showing.", the dealer warned. "I like to live...dangerously.", the secret slayer explained. He dealt another card, and ace. Buffy turned her face down card up, and it too was an ace. "Player holds at twenty-one.", the dealer declared. Buffy pulled her winnings into her purse after converting the chips to cash. Then she was approached by the spiky haired man.
"You're the Slayer.", the man observed. "And the password?", Buffy asked. "I would doubt that I need a passwo...", he trailed off after noticing Buffy pushing her Whalter PPK in his chest. "Luke may walk the sky but he's so stupid he doesn't need sunlight to die.", the man told her. Buffy dropped the small crossbow in her purse.
"What's your name?", he asked. "Summers. Buffy Summers.", she told him. "And yours?" "Handsaun Kindagai.", he stated. Buffy arched and eyebrow. "What Kindagai are you?", she asked. "Handsaun.", he repeated.
"Hm. Why did you defect from V.A.M.P.I.R.E.S., Mr. Kindagai?", Buffy asked. "Gypsies cursed me with a soul. Things changed. And please, my friends call me 'Angel'.", the vampire told her. "I think I like the 'Handsaun' approach better.", Buffy breathed.
"What can you tell me about the killer, Handsaun?", the secret slayer asked Angel. "He's nearly indestructable, free lance mostly. He's called only 'Claws'.", Kindagai offered. "I think I know where he can be found. If you're willing to look for a near perfect vampire.", he said.
"Why, Mr. Kindagai. I do believe I've already found one.", Buffy hinted.
* * *
Buffy and Handsaun were soon climbing Mt. Park, the highest mountain in Sunnydale because it was the only mountain high enough to ski on...er, because Kindagai thought Claws might be there. The pair were fortunate that M-6 had provided all the department's autos with male as well as female mounting gear. Perfectly dressed, the pair made their way up mountain, but stopped once they had reached a particular point on the side.
"Damn.", Handsaun muttered. "I thought he'd be here." "What's this?", Buffy pointed out a uncempt bunch of branches. The secret slayer pulled them away, and revealed a large pipe. "Get down the mount and back to my car.", Buffy instructed. "But...", Handsaun protested. Buffy turned to him. "Now.", she instructed. Handsaun nearly protested again, but hastily made his way back down the mountain.
Buffy turned back to the pipe. She heard muffled scratching of metal on metal. She took a few steps in to the pipe, and caught the full effect of the surprise. Claws stood over her, nearly 9 feet tall.
Buffy immediately turned a spin kick into his stomach and socked his kidnies. Claws laughed. The vampire swung at Double 'O' Slayer with his claw, but she ducked. His swing passed over her, and his claw got stuck in the side of the pipe. Buffy used her cross laser to weld it to the metal somewhat.
However, the laser beam set off a loud alarm. The secret slayer ran back to the entrance and pulled the two skis from her back. She flipped a small switch on the bottom of her purse, and two retractable ski poles fell into her hand. She extended the both of them, and turn down the mountain just as Claws reached the entrance.
Claws threw himself at Buffy Summers. Double 'O' Slayer ducked, put the ski poles to his stomach, and sent Claws crashing down the mountain. It took a moment to right herself, and that moment could cost her her life.
Ski commandos armed with submachine guns fell out of the brush. Buffy caught a glimpse of two snow mobiles with gun toting snow troops rushing from the other end of the pipe. The secret slayer lifted up on her poles, turned facing down the slope of the mountain, and pushed herself forward. Then the big band orchestra started playing the theme music.
Double 'O' Slayer raced down the slope with the vampire troops in hot pursuit. The secret slayer retracted her right pole, dropped it into her purse, and pulled out her Whalter PPK cross bow while bullets ripped apart the snow around her. Buffy hit a mogul (bump) and was propelled into the air. She took the oppurtunity to pull a 180 degree twist, shooting two of the skiing vampires directly in the heart. Several more ski troops, as well as those on snow mobiles continued the chase down the mountain while Buffy skiied backwards.
Double 'O' Slayer neatly dodged the still flailing and tumbling Claws as she sped down the mountain. The secret slayer caught a glimpse of her Citroen speeding to her left. She leaned that way, changing her path of descent. It took a moment for the vampires to react and match her course. She further delayed them by carefully putting two shots into the lead snow mobile's engine, blowing it up and taking the many of the vampire's with it.
When she noticed the snow letting up, she hopped and pulled off another 180. When she reached the grass, she kicked off the skis and made use of her minute head start on the vamps. Handsaun tumbled out of the driver's seat, rolled over the hood of the car and jumped in the passenger's seat. Buffy dived head first over the roof of the auto as the vampire's bullets bounced off the impegnatrable armor.
"Care for a jaunty ride through the country side, darling?", Buffy asked as she looked in the rear view mirror and saw four aproaching cars that had no reflection of drivers. "Take out 'the country side' and you'd simply have me estatic.", Kindagai replied. Buffy turned the car around, and rushed the oncoming vampire's cars. All the vampires skidded out of the way as Buffy's terribly British Citroen barrelled through down the road they had come.
By this time, Claws had finally landed at the bottom of the mountain. He got up, brushed off his sky blue suit, and walked over to one of the V.A.M.P.I.R.E.S agent's cars. Claws tore the driver's door off the car and tossed the driver out. He turned to smile at the passengers, showing his fangs were metal. They indicated their consent for him to drive with whimpered mewlings.
Buffy saw the vamp cars chasing them as she tore into Sunnydale proper. She popped open a panel between the dashboard and the gear stick. "I hope it's their birth day, as they are getting a surprise and all.", the secret slayer quipped. She slowed the car just enough so that the lead vampire car pulled up beside her. All the vampires except the driver hung out of the windows and blasted the car with automatic weapons. The Citroen wasn't even scratched. Buffy pressed a button on the uncovered panel, and lasers shot out of the car's hubcaps. The vampires' car's tires immediatly were burned off and it slid on its axles into a fire hydrant.
Buffy took a hard left, but the vampires continued. She pressed another button and the Citroen sprayed oil over the road. One car wiped out and crashed to the side of the road. Claws' auto and the remaining car sped after them.
Double 'O' Slayer's car quickly spun facing backwards, but continued on its original path. Spikes jutted out of the tires to firmly grip the road. Buffy pressed the button again, and soon she was driving on her own oil slick. The Citroen's headlights receded and were replaced by flame throwers. At the touch of a button, Buffy ignited the oil behind her. Claws quickly threw his car to the pavement to drive on. The other auto caught fire and exploded at 80 miles and hour.
The Citroen spun, retracted its tire's spikes, and continued down the road. Claws pushed his car to the max while regaining the road. The vampires he had with him jumped out, taking their chances with the pavement rather than what Claws was willing to do to catch Buffy.
The secret slayer pressed and held yet another button. A green cross hair and circle appeared on the LCD embedded into the Citroen's rear window. The cross hair settled on Claws' auto and turned red. The liscence plate (00 SLYR) pulled up and a rocket launcher barrel was exposed. When Buffy released the button, a missile lept out of the car and headed straight for Claws' face.
Claws saw the liscence plate pull up. The vampire quickly slashed the winsheild of his car, shattering the glass over the road. He caught one of the vampire's guns on a blade of his claw and flicked at the back window, hard. That glass shattered and he ducked his massive frame into the passenger's seat. Buffy's rocket passed through the front window's cleared out space, through the car, and out the back harmlessly.
Claws smiled at the Citroen. "I don't believe it!", Handsaun exclaimed. "Good things come to those who wait.", Buffy informed him. The rocket turned in a wide arc, heading back for the car it had passed through. Claws looked through his own reflection in the rear view mirror and gaped at the impending harbringer of destruction. The vampire leaped from the car through the door he had already ripped off. He hit the pavement at 90 miles and hour, showered with flame and shards of metal.
Buffy stopped the Citroen and looked back over her shoulder. Claws was brushing off his sky blue suit again. He started walking towards the English car but met a woman first. The woman simply looked at Claws, and the giant monster fled in terror. Buffy was awestruck as the vampire struggled his way down a man hole. The woman continued on with her groceries.
"Now that's something you don't see everyday.", Kindagai commented. "Well, actually-I do.", Buffy explained. A peice of paper with a different photograph of the woman rolled out of the dashboard.
Buffy started driving to a Handsaun Kindagai's apartment. "It states that the woman is Ms. French, the high school biology substitute.", Buffy informed him. "Maybe Claws just had a bad educational experience. That would explain his carreer choice.", Handsaun suggested.
Buffy drew the car to a stop in front of his apartment. "Would you care for a drink, Ms. Summers?", Kindagai asked. "Martini, shaken not stirred?", Buffy asked him. "I have the vodka at the waiting.", the vampire told her. "Then how could I possibly refuse?", Buffy replied.
* * *
Buffy walked into the library wearing a black strapless gown, a silver crucific necklace and matching gloves that went above her elbows. "Double 'O' Slayer, where the devil have you been?", G asked sharply. "I surrounded a vampire last night. I had to force what he bottled up inside him out.", Buffy replied. "What's happened?"
W rushed into the room. "XanderPenny's been kidnapped, that's what happened.", she told Summers. "He was last seen with this woman." W pulled out a computer enhanced image of XanderPenny walking along side a female. Buffy took the sheet from her car from her purse and laid the photographs side by side. It was the same woman, Ms. French.
"Do we know where they are?", Buffy asked G. "No.", G responded. Buffy thought for a moment. "G call a commando unit. Navy Seals, Army Rangers, Coast Guard, whatever." "And send them where Double 'O' Slayer?", G countered. "I'll tell you that as soon as I find out.", the secret Slayer responded.
"W,", she continued. "I'll be needing that cellular phone with the 50,000 volt charge to convince someone." "But Double 'O' Slayer, that would ignite a vampire and instantly kill a mortal.", W warned. "I hope so. Now I have to get moving.", Buffy told her.
"Dammit Doulbe 'O' Slayer. Who do you think is running this organization?", G snapped. "I'm sorry sir. I thought XanderPenny had been captured by the enemy. Perhaps you'd like to take back my liscence to slay before I go save him?", Buffy asked. G sat down and shook his head. "Dismissed Double 'O' Slayer.", the librarian conceded before calling in favors to get a force together.
* * *
Buffy slipped quietly into the sewers. With the V.A.M.P.I.R.E.S. activity in Sunnydale, it was surprisingly well kept. Buffy noticed a pipe supporting several rats. She pressed a button on the phone, and touched it to the pipe. For the next several hundred meters Buffy was passing electrocuted, dead rats.
Then she spotted a shadow up ahead. The secret slayer concealed herself and waited for Claws to pass by. Claws stopped when he reached the point she was concealed at. Rather than waiting to see if she had been discovered, Buffy jumped out at Claws.
The giant vampire slashed at her, and the secret slayer was forced to evade with a short tumble to the floor. When she got up, Claws snarled at her. Buffy immediately jammed the phone into his metal fangs. Electricity danced across the vampire's teeth, his face, him and the entire tunnel. Claws rolled his eyes and fell to the floor.
Buffy grabbed the dazed monster by his sky blue suit's lapels. "Who's Ms. French?!", she asked forcefully. Claws shook his head. "Where is she?! Where is she?!", Buffy asked while banging Claws' head on the ground.
* * *
Buffy was pushing Claws down the street, his hands tied behind his back. At a particular house, Claws started growling and struggling more. "You're better than radar.", Buffy complimented. She contemplated how she would get in the house.
The secret slayer whirled as she heard cords snap. Claws growled and started running to the left. She drew her PPK and fired, but the behemoth had already run to the other side of the house evading the shot.
* * *
Ms. French oppenned the front door when the door bell range. There was a while between the actually ringing and openning, as she had a civilian and XanderPenny held captive downstairs. Buffy Summers stood on the front porch, wearing beige fatigues and holding boxes of cookies.
"Buy some girl scout cookies, ma'am?", Buffy asked. "I thought the girl scouts were younger.", Ms. French asked specifically. "Actually, we have three age divisions. The one I'm in continues to age 16.", Buffy replied. Ms. French pulled a some string out. "There's something I've always wanted to know 'girl scout'.", Ms. French said. "How do you tie a monkey's fist knot? You would know if you were a girl scout."
Buffy took the string and proceeded to tie the knot with out error. "Can I ask a question, Ms...?" "French. Debbie Dustha French.", Ms. French asnwered. "How long have you've been in town, Ms. French?", Buffy asked, handing back a perfect monkey's paw knot. "Come in, and we can get aquainted.", Ms. French invited.
Buffy's eyes narrowed. The secret slayer knew that she was probably discovered, but it was her only lead on XanderPenny. Slowly Double 'O' Slayer walked into the home. As soon as she did, the door slammed shut, and two mercenaries dressed in green jumpsuits with pictures of mantises on them pointed guns at her head. "If you don't like door to door salespeople, all you had to do was say so.", Buffy told Ms. French calmly.
"Don't be coy with me, Double 'O' Slayer. I know you've come for your beloved XanderPenny.", Ms. French told her. "Don't tell him, okay? We're at that touch and go part of our relationship.", Buffy quipped as the two mercenaries took away her purse. "Don't forget her crucifix.", Ms. French instructed the two guards. "We wouldn't want her to laser her way out."
The guards ripped the cross necklace off. Ms. French gestured toward the interior of the house, and the four walked to an elevator at the center. After boarding, the elevator took them down to the basement. "Nice accomadations.", Buffy Summers commented after the doors openned.
That was an understatment. The villain had the obligatory fusion reactor, computer core, monorail to transport her hundreds of mercenaries around the basement accounted for. There was a death trap by shark pit, an armory, and an area set aside for living in the lap of luxury as well as a sector of scientific equipment. Two more mercenaries joined Ms. French's contingent, and they lead Buffy to the living area.
"Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred?", Ms. French asked Buffy calmly as the mercenaries put Buffy's weapons on a table just out of reach. "I doubt I'll live long enough to savor it.", Buffy responded in a conversational manner. Ms. French laughed. "Don't worry. I'm currently using the shark pit to guard a few 'guests' of mine."
A spotlight sprang to life over the shark pit. XanderPenny and a civilian were shown softly swaying over the pool, politly waiting for rescue. "If I'd known that our first date was going to end up like this, I would have refused sooner Buffy.", XanderPenny flirted. "I'd wouldn't be so hot-headed XanderPenny. It seems that a dip might be more chilling than one would normally suspect.", Buffy told him. "'Chilling', Buffy. My...I would have never used that word in the same sentence as you.", XanderPenny replied. Buffy put her hand to her neck and tugged an ear ring.
"Enough of this flirting.", Ms. French commanded. "One more idle jibe from the either of you, and I won't even feed you to the sharks together.", she stated. "Wouldn't it be rude of you to kill us without telling us your evil plan, Debbie?", Buffy asked calmly. "Oh, of course.", Ms. French replied. "Where are my manners?"
Ms. French morphed into a giant preying mantis, showing that it is her face embroidered on the mercenaries' uniforms. "I am the beast known as She-Mantis. When I mate, I kill the young virgin I mate with and lay thousands of eggs. The mate I have chosen is XanderPenny."
"After my eggs are laid, my men will ship them all over the world. My offspring will hatch in the safe deposit boxes of thousands of banks in the richest countries of the world. Using my species phenomenal strength, the children will burst into life with access to all the world's jewels.", the beast told the secret slayer.
She-Mantis picked up a small, coin shaped and sized device. "These will allow me to give messages to all my offspring when they hatch. I will become the richest succubi in the world. HAHAHAHA!", She-Mantis boasted. Buffy took a step forward, and carefully took the communications device in her hand.
"Well, would you look at that.", Buffy commented. "It's nearly like the distress homing device I have hidden in my earrings that are activated when I pull on them.", Double 'O' Slayer told She-Mantis. The elevator doors burst open, and commandos suspended on ropes flooded the basement base.
The commandos quickly dropped behing the most convenient cover and started firing. The mercenaries hid behind equally protected cover, and handed out weapons from the armory. Soon both sides were throwing grenades and firing automatic weapons at each other. Although both sides took casualties, there numbers strangely seemed to remain constant.
"Kill her!", She-Mantis ordered her guards. But Double 'O' Slayer was already moving. She got to the table, grabbed her PPK, and whirled around firing. Buffy hit every guard before they got off a shot. She-Mantis pulled out a remote control, pointed it at the cage above the shark pool, pressed a button and ground the control beneath one of her feet before running in the opposite direction.
XanderPenny's and the civilian's cage fell into the water. Buffy ran over just as the sharks realized they had an unexpected feast at their lips. Buffy thought for a split second, then took the beret/animal recorder from her hair. She thrust it into the water and played a recording of a school of dolphins, the only deadly enemy to two lone sharks. The sharks cowered while XanderPenny and the civilian made it to shore.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you!", the man said as Buffy pulled him out of the pool. "I'm so happy to see you.", the civilian continued. "You know how the men react to your appearance, Buffy.", XanderPenny smugly chided. Then the first really big explosion sounded.
Buffy immediately knew what it meant. "Quickly XanderPenny. Get this man out of here, and instruct the commando unit to evacuate. The nuclear reactor is melting down, so the whole complex will collapse inward.", she told the boy. "But a reactor core melt down can't cause a structural collapse.", XanderPenny protested. "But it does every time a Double 'O' agent is caught in an under ground arch villain's headquarters like this.", Buffy replied. "Quite right.", XanderPenny agreed.
"Where are you going?", XanderPenny asked Buffy. "I've got to go after She-Mantis. "Yes, you wouldn't want G to lower your pay, now would you?", XanderPenny quipped as he hoisted the other male onto his shoulder and helped him across to the commando unit.
Buffy found She-Mantis attempting to save some of her eggs from the impending collapse of the building. The rubble falling around her told Double 'O' Slayer she didn't have much time. Buffy set the recorder differently, then played it as loud as she could. Bat sonar washed over She-Mantis. The beast turned and bucked as Buffy set the beret/recorder down next to her. "And you thought the tape you confiscated from the Goth in your class was bad.", Buffy reminded her.
Double 'O' Slayer switched her PPK cross bow to her better hand and ran back through the remaining mercenaries. She shot her way through, and ran at full tilt to the elevator. The secret slayer lept at one of the ropes hanging down the shaft just as a fire started. Buffy quickly climbed up the rope, and ran out the front door. She made it to the sidewalk only a moment before the entire house imploded, forever burying She-Mantis and her eggs.
"Good god, what happened in there Double 'O' Slayer?", G snapped. The librarian pushed his way through the commandos he had arranged for. "I guess a mother's love isn't enough.", Buffy supposed. The secret slayer then saw Handsaun Kindagai across the street, leaning on her Citroen. "I think that I need a vacation from regular schooling after that teacher, don't you XanderPenny?", Buffy asked the boy.
XanderPenny only shook his head as Buffy Summers made her way across the street.
"My heart staked? Neveeer...
My love granted? Foreveeer...
The Hellmouth may as well be our home,
but together we'll stop the demons' roam."
"For vampires never diiiiiie. Vampires never diiiiiiie."
Double 'O' Slayer will return in "Thunder Fang"
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