"We became best friends. We told each other everything. Our secrets, our fears. Without Angel, I never would have made it."

"Okay," Buffy said. "But why are you alive?"

Gillian chuckled softly. "Oh, I'm nowhere near the end. What’s gonna happen didn’t happen until a year and a half after that part I just told you."

"Looks like we're gonna be here a while," Buffy said.

"I've read accounts of you, but I've never heard the story so in depth," Giles said. "All I know was that your family died, then you were recorded dead around thirteen years later. The records say you were one of the two Slayers Spike killed."

Gillian laughed. "Oh, my God! Spike thinks he killed me? Oh, that is funny." Gillian paused, then continued. "Jake thought I was dead about three years after my parents died. Me and Angel didn't want him to know about what really happened. Now, I'll pick up the story a half a year later. My sixteenth birthday. . ."

Gillian skipped through the cemetery, whistling, "Happy Birthday." The vampires must have been hiding from the happy Slayer 'cause she hadn't seen one all night.

"Happy?"

Gillian looked up to see Angelus smiling at her.

"Yes I am. It's not every day you turn sixteen," she replied with a laugh.

"I got a present for you."

"You did? Where is it?" Gillian bounced over to Angelus happily.

"It's back at my apartment. You have to come and get it."

"Okay, let's go." Gillian grabbed Angelus's arm and began dragging him towards his apartment, but he stopped her.

"What about the vampires?" he asked.

"I haven’t seen one all night. Sunnydale will survive."

Angelus laughed and shook his head. Gillian, now the best friend he had ever had brought out the best side of him. Somehow, when he was around her, he always felt like smiling. Angelus followed Gillian to his apartment. He opened the door and led Gillian in. He motioned to he sofa and Gillian sat down.

"Stay here," he said, walking back into his bedroom.

Once there, he picked up the small black box that held Gillian's birthday present. He
breathed deeply to calm himself and opened the box. Inside he saw the beatiful butterfly
necklace he had bought for Gillian weeks before. He knew she loved butterflies but had
debated giving it to her ever since. The reason he was unsure was becasue of the inscription on the back of the butterfly. It read:

Gillian
Thanks for being there for me
My heart is yours
Angelus

He had known he loved her since the first time he saw her leaning up against that
gravestone, crying. She had looked so sweet and vulnerable there all by herself.

Angelus sighed and closed the box, mustering up his strength. He could do this. Even if she rejected him.

Angelus walked out to the room where Gillian was sitting. "Hey," he said, holding the box behind his back.

Gillian smiled and stood up. "Where's my present?" she asked, walking over towards
him.

Angelus pulled it out from behind his back. As he handed it to her, he made sure their
hands touched. He felt the almost electric shock. Gillian smiled faintly and he knew she felt it too.

Slowly, glancing up at Angelus once, Gillian opened the box. When she saw the necklace, she gasped. "Thank you," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

Gillian took it out of the box and was about to put it on when Angelus stopped her.
"Read the back," he said, somewhat nervously.

Gilian flipped the butterfly over and read. She then put it around her neck. When she
looked up, her eyes were filled with tears. "Ever since you comforted me that night in the graveyard when I was fourteen, I've been grateful. Ever since you told me about Spike I've been trying to think of a way to tell you that—well, that—I want you as more than just a friend."

Angelus looked down into her blue eyes and knew she meant it.

Gillian raised up onto her toes, Angelus bent down, and they shared a kiss that would
lead to many others. Hesitantly their lips pressed against each others. Then harder, more
passionate. Gillian reluctantly ended the kiss to breathe. As their eyes locked and as they
kissed again, the world around them faded. They were still vaguely aware that they were still kissing even though, in this secret place of their minds, they weren't.

There was no need to actually speak since their minds were
connected and they could hear each other's thoughts.

As much as Angelus tried to hide it, one word kept flashing through his mind.

evil, demented creature of the devil. This isn't right. >

< I don't care if it's right, Angelus. I like it. >

problems. Only I should have to deal with them. >

vampire and I'm not gound to run now. > Gillian was speaking—or, thinking—softly, gently, as if to coax him into talking.

Angelus sank back furter into his own mind. Gillian followed him into his mind.

Angelus’s mind was cold. Icelike. It was like he hadn’t felt any love for a hundred years. Gillian unintentionally saw he memories, as much as he tried to hide them from her. She saw Angelus—in a memory—torturing a gypsy girl with long dark hair. She saw him killing her friends, her family, driving her insane, and then, one night, killed the girl herself. But not right away. First he beat her and mocked her. The images Gillian saw in Angelus’s mind were horrible.

It wasn't an accusation or even a reprimand. It was more of a wave of sorrow that Angelus had to live with this pain without anyone to share it with.

Angelus—in the real world—pulled away from their kiss and Gilian fell to the floor,
knocked up agianst the sofa.

"Leave me alone, Gillian. Please." Gillian was surprised to see that Angelus was crying.

Gillian crawled over to Angelus and wrapped her arms around his shaking shoulders.

"It's okay, Angelus," she whispered. "I don't hate you for any of this."

"How could you not hate me, Gillian?"

"Soulmates. Two people destined to be together forever. How could I hate you? I'll never leave you, Angelus. I promise."

Angelus and Gillian sat there on the floor, crying together, until both eventually fell asleep.

EARLY JUNE, 1998

"I couldn't fully comprehend the full meaning about what it meant to be soulmates. Once you meet your soulmate, you feel incomplete if you're ever separated," Gillian said.

"So, let me get this straight," Buffy said, sitting up straighter. "You and Angel are
SOULMATES?"

Gillian nodded. "Why? What's the problem?"

"No, you see, he loved me! I'm the one he talks to about things!"

Gillian paused. "Did he ever tell you about what he did to the gypsy girl? I mean, how he tortured her? All those awful details?" Gillian asked softly.

Buffy hesitated, but only for a moment. "Well, that's different. You pulled that out of his mind! He didn't want to tell you that!"

"Have you ever seen him cry?" Gillian shot back, still speaking softly.

Buffy was silent.

"Didn't think so. Me and Angel were meant for each other, Buffy. You may have like
each other—or even loved each other—but, believe me, it wasn’t the same. When you're
soulmates, it's like you know this person's your destiny the first moment you see them.
When you touch, sparks fly. When you kiss, sometimes you can see into each other's
minds. And when you—" Gillian shot a glance at Giles "—do, uh, other stuff, it's like—well, indescribable."

Buffy looked down at her hands and sighed. "But I love him," she protested weakly. "And it IS the same—sort of."

Giles shifted uncomfortably. "You stil haven’t told us why you are sitll alive," he said, trying to change the subject.

Gillian smiled weakly. "I know you're impatient but I have to tell you the whole
long story so that you, as a Watcher, can understand why we did what we did. And I dont’t think Buffy will understand this if I didn’t tell you how much we loved—love—each other and all we had to go through."

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll start nine months later. The night my life fell apart . . ."