Broken: Chapter 2
by SciFiFan151852
Broken – chap 2

Xander POV



Today was the final straw. I turned up at work and was there for roughly an hour before I got told to go home, permanently.

When I arrived home I thought Anya would be understanding and that maybe she could cheer me up a little. I had no idea how wrong I was. I told her what happened and she lost it completely. Ranting at me, she screamed about how she’s sick of the basement and “how much longer are we going to have to live here now?”, and my personal favourite of all “we hardly ever have sex anymore, do you not find me attractive?” Sometimes I love that she’s so blunt and sometimes I hate it. Today was neither. I just stood there while she showered me in verbal abuse. I just felt… nothing.

I couldn’t think of one of my trademark jokes, and I didn’t know what to do to make Anya relax… I didn’t even feel like making her calm down. I was numb.

I saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears, her tiny fists bruising my ribs, her face contorted in anger and frustration.

After what seemed like ages, she stopped and glared at me, trying to find something, I don’t know what she was looking for but she must have seen it because then she turned around and slouched outside, slamming the door behind her.

I stood there for a while, contemplating whether I should go after her and tell her sweet lies, hold her limber form to my chest and kiss away her tears.

Turning around I headed to the shower.

Stripping, I stepped under the jet of water, hardly even noticing that it was freezing cold. Leaning my head against the wall of the shower cubicle I closed my eyes hoping that when I opened them everything would go back to the way it used to be. When I was young and life was simple and happy. A time when my family cared and smiled and I was loved.

I opened my eyes and saw the bathroom tiles in front of me.



Grunting slightly, the only sound I’d made since I’d told Anya about being fired, I switched off the shower and stepped out, grabbing the towel nearest to me. I stood in front of the bathroom door, my hand outstretched, a little pool of water forming around my feet. Sighing slightly I opened the door and stepped out into the empty room. Stepping further into the room I noticed that the wardrobe doors were open and that all of Anya’s belongings were gone. There was a note on the bed, but I ignored it and just stood staring at the empty spot where her clothes used to hang. Then I sat on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands, making no sound and not moving at all. Just waiting for night to fall and to head to Giles’s house for the daily Scooby meeting.



So now I’m sitting here staring blankly at the book in front of me. My hands are turning the pages and my eyes are looking at the sentences but the words aren’t registering in my mind.

Buffy and Willow laugh as Giles attempts to get the ‘stupid box’ to work. Their laughter seems distant to me, like an echo or a fading memory, reminding me of times that were. I feel like I don’t belong here. I may have done so at one point but I don’t belong here anymore. They’ve grown and developed as humans and I feel like I’m at the begging again, like I’m going round in circles and it’ll never stop.



There’s a niggling feeling in the back of my brain that I’m being watched. Turning around I see Spike staring at me before he quickly snaps his head around and pretends that he wasn’t looking. I can’t be bothered to care about what the annoying vampire is up to.

Willow’s gone back to researching now, her nose almost touching the pages of the book as if she thinks that if she looks close enough, she’ll find all the answers to… everything. I know there are no answers. People have been searching since the beginning of time, I’d have thought they’d have realised now that they’re not going to find anything.

Buffy is trying to research but she keeps looking amusedly at Giles, who is attempting to search for something on Google.

I get up, I’ve had enough.

No one stops me; they don’t ask where I’m going. They just nod in my direction and mutter a ‘see ya’.

I wonder where I should go now. I could go home but I don’t really feel like it, I don’t feel like going anywhere. I just wish I could feel anything.

Realisation dawns; I’m in the cemetery. There’s a growl behind me.

Was that a hint of fear?



Tbc….

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