Life in L.A.: Drowning Sorrows
by Melissa Summers
“That was a rush!” Dawn exclaimed, stumbling into Spike’s apartment. Her head was still spinning from the ride over here. Vipers were fast!
“Just don’t tell your sis I drive like that.” Spike said, closing the door behind him.
“I won’t.” Dawn said, excited at the prospect of having a secret. “Besides, I know you would never hurt me. You always keep me safe.”
“That I do, Lil Bit, that I do.” Spike said with a smile.
“So, now that we’re here...spill!” Dawn demanded.
Spike raised an eyebrow. “Spill what?”
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Buffy! You haven’t seen her since...well, since you died. I mean, come on! How do you feel about her? Do you still love her?”
She seated herself down on the couch, and Spike pulled up a chair and spun it backwards so he could lean against the back to face her.
“Tell me this, love, does she still love me?”
“Of course she— I think she— I don’t know.” Dawn said truthfully. “At first, she was really sad, and stayed quiet all the time. Then, eventually, she talked about it and seemed to move on. Well, not move on exactly, but she got better, you know?” Spike nodded. “Anyways, when she heard you were alive, she...it’s hard to describe. She was happy, but sad at the same time. Are you following me at all?” Spike nodded again. “She had come so far, and then there you were.”
“So you don’t know then.” Spike said, more as a statement than a question.
Dawn nodded, looking at the floor. She looked up. “So now you tell me. Do you still love her?”
“I...” He started, looking up into her eyes. They were so bright, and sparkling, full of life. Her shiny brown-blonde curls made soft waves as they met her shoulders, and reflected a golden color in the light, just like Buffy’s hair did. She reminded him of Buffy in a lot of ways, and yet there was something there, something Buffy never had.
Innocence.
Spike had always thought that it was the dark that drew him in. The fight, the thrill of the hunt, even the kill. The killer, even. But now as he looked at this young girl before him, he realized that’s not what he wanted anymore. Dawn had the same unique knowledge beyond her years that shown in her face, but the lines of worry and death were not there.
Don’t get me wrong, Spike thought, she’s had her share of roughs and tumbles. She’s got a killer in her all right, and yet...it hasn’t effected her yet. Her youth, her joy was still in tact. It was fresh and alive in her, he could smell it.
“I don’t know either.” He admitted. “It’s complicated.”
“You want to move on, don’t you?” Dawn asked knowingly.
“I would only hold her back. She needs to move on just as much as I do.” Spike replied.
“It still hurts, though, doesn’t it?” Dawn prodded. “I mean, the moving on. Because, you did love her, once.”
“I did. I really did.”
“And you still kinda do.”
“I do.”
“And you still want to move on? Even though you still have feelings for her?”
“It’s for the best.”
“Well, I know one thing that heals all wounds. Something I think you have.”
“Time.” Spike sighed. “Bugger time. I got time all right, I got an eternity of time, but it ain’t gonna heal wounds. That’s for bloody sure.”
“Time? Not exactly what I had in mind.” Dawn said, getting up and heading to the fridge. She opened it up and “Aha!” pulled out a bottle of...
“...beer?” Spike said with a questioning glance. “Good thinking, and yet I’m scared to ask how you knew.”
Dawn pulled out some bottles and brought them over to the coffee table.
“What? Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m poor pathetic little Dawn. The young girl who is so cute and innocent she can’t possibly get into trouble.” Dawn remarked.
“No, not at all what I was thinking.” Spike said, mentally slapping himself. “I mean, that coming from the girl who played hooky to make out with a vampire after trashing someone’s house.”
Dawn cringed. “I knew that would come back to get me. But I mean besides that, I have my share of high school fun.”
“Dawn...” Spike said in a concerned tone.
“Nothing dangerous. No smoking, drag racing, drugs, or anything like that. Just, a little shot glass here and there, jello shooters, the standard stuff. But never driving afterwards!”
She opened a drawer and shuffled through it until she found a bottle opener. Prying open two bottles of beer, she carried them back over to the table and handed one to Spike.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on there partner, I don’t think so. Buffy would have my head.” Spike said, trying to take the bottle from her.
“Well Buffy isn’t here now, is she?” Dawn said, holding her bottle back out of his reach and taking a swig. “Besides, you’re moving on, remember?”
“And you are?”
“Helping you drown your sorrows in beer?” Dawn suggested.
“Dawn, I don’t need you throwing up in my newly tiled bathroom.” Spike retorted.
“That was so last year!” Dawn exclaimed. “I remember it too. I threw up all over Janice’s bathroom. Lucky for us, her parents were out of town, and we got it cleaned up before they got back.”
“And Janice wasn’t mad?” Spike laughed, relaxing slightly.
“How could she be? She was throwing up right beside me.” Dawn smiled.
Spike smiled too. “Fine, I guess you can have a little. It is illegal, but working for Wolfram and Hart has it’s perks. Now Buffy, that’s another story entirely.”
“I won’t tell her if you won’t.” Dawn offered.
“Cheers.” Spike agreed, clinking his glass with hers.
They both drank to that. Another secret between the two.
An hour later was a different story. Crash Bandakoot, with it’s magic crystals and fruit, took on a whole new view after throwing back a few.
“Why are we collecting fruit?” Dawn questioned. “What kind of sick game is this?”
“Love, I didn’t even know that when I was...what’s that word? Oh yeah! Sober.” Spike replied.
Dawn laughed. “Sober. That’s a funny word. Sober. Sober.”
She put down her controller and sighed. “I’m bored. Spike, I’m bored. Did you hear me?” She asked nudging him.
“Yes, I heard you! Stop poking me. I said stop!” He said snatching her finger into his hand.
Dawn smiled sweetly, and he let go. Quickly she used the opportunity to poke him again, causing him to playfully tackle her, pinning her arms expertly to the side, and straddling her waist.
A very compromising position.
“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know anyone was, I mean, Angel sent me, and I...”
A boy was standing above them. He looked about Dawn’s age, with messy brown hair, and grey-blue eyes.
“No, we weren’t...doing anything.” Dawn said, pushing Spike up, who took the cue to get off of her.
“You see, we’re...” Spike started.
“Drunk. I think. Right?” Dawn looked over to Spike, who nodded.
“How did we get drunk?” Spike asked confused.
“You.” Dawn pointing, bringing herself to her feet. “You were...grieving or something. Losing the love of your life. That! Yeah, that was it. Are you over it yet?”
“Yeah, I reckon I am.” Spike decided after a short pause. “Wait, what am I over?”
“The love of your life.” Dawn reminded him.
“Right, right.” Spike remembered. “Got it.”
The boy stood there, watching. Spike looked over at him.
“And you are?” He asked, as Dawn helped him to his feet.
“Um, Conner. My name’s Conner.”
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