Fallen Angel: Meditation and Songs
by Ghost
Nine days later, at at 4:30 P.M.
“Ghost, you need to relax,” Wesley tried to explain, sighing in hopelessness. He had been trying to teach Ghost to meditate for a week now, but... She couldn’t even get past the first step: sitting still.
Amused, Angel watched from the doorway, out of the sun streaming in through the windows. They were in Ghost’s room, and though she normally liked it dark, she had accidentally, in a burst of magick, destroyed her curtains. Ghost took a deep breath and let it out again, adjusting her cross-legged position. She sank slightly into the soft bed, her hands resting on her knees. Wesley sat in a wooden chair, holding his head in his hands. Angel pitied him, glad that he hadn’t been assigned this particular job.
“How am I supposed to relax when you all are staring at me?” Ghost tried to obey, however, closing her eyes to make a record of about five seconds with no interruptions. The girl didn’t even notice, at first, as Wesley’s chair began to lift into the air. Neither did Wesley, apparently, until he hit his head on the ceiling. His ‘ow’ woke Ghost from her trance, and as soon as she opened her eyes, the chair fell, breaking and slamming Wesley into the wall.
“Ah, sorry,” Ghost managed to get out between chuckles. Wesley flung his hands in the air in defeat, marching out of the room. Angel followed him for a few paces, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
“She’s doing better,” he consoled. It wasn’t a complete lie; she was. Slightly.
“Are you referring to her magick? The part where she only destroys one thing at a time, instead of shattering everything breakable within a ten-foot radius?” Wesley waved his hand around them. He did make a good point; scattered bits and pieces of things lay everywhere, and there were a few holes in the walls.
“Well- yes, I was, but-” Angel stopped. “You still can’t see it, can you.”
Confused, Wesley asked, “See what?”
“Nothing, never mind.” Angel turned to go back to Ghost, glad that Wesley didn’t follow him. What Angel had meant was that Ghost was getting to be a better actor- hiding that thing in her eyes.
Angel entered the room, dodging around the spots of sunlight to stand in a corner. Ghost was waving her hand over the broken pieces of the chair, making them jump about every now and then. She didn’t look up as he came in; she hardly did anymore. Angel knew that she knew he could see it, though it would take more than hell to get her to admit it.
“There has got to be a better way to control my magick than this,” she muttered. “I mean, if meditation is supposed to help, then it really shouldn’t be setting me off.”
“I’m sure you’ll eventually get the hang of it.” Angel wished the sun wasn’t up, so he could walk over to her and make her look at him. Then, suddenly, an exciting, wonderful idea popped into the vampire’s head. “Ghost, I just thought of something that might help.”
She finally looked up, shaking her head to attempt to make it look like she was getting the hair out of her face, when she was really letting it hang more in front. “What?” She asked, her voice containing a piece of hope.
“I know someone who- well- if you sing, he can ‘read’ you. He might be able to figure out a new process to try.” If Angel could’ve breathed, he would’ve been holding his breath, hoping that she would consent. She stared at him for a moment, and he could almost imagine gears in her head turning. Shaking away that odd thought, he looked expectantly at her.
“I... guess,” she said, looking back down at the pieces of the chair. “When?”
Angel was truly surprised at her agreement- maybe she was too troubled to have really thought about what it meant. “Tonight, if you want. After the sun sets, or else... Well, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. Sorry about the chair.” The moment the words left her mouth, the shattered chair sprung up, pieces flying about, and when the whirlwind stopped, Ghost’s mouth hung open in surprise. The chair had been perfectly rebuilt, even better than how it had been when it was destroyed.
“I- did I do that?” Ghost whispered. Tentatively, she tapped the seat, but the object was stable. “Cool.” She grinned, laughing, glad that she had successfully done something. “I’m gonna go tell Wes,” She happily informed Angel. “He should be pleased- he’ll know all his efforts weren’t for naught.” She made a face. “Now I’m talking like him.”
Chuckling, Angel watched as she left the room, running down the stairs and calling out Wesley’s name. His smile soon faded, though; he hoped this wouldn’t make her change her mind about seeing Lorne.
Lorne. They hadn’t seen him for a while, but he undoubtedly was doing well- if not, he would have blamed it on Angel Investigations, simply because they had been partly responsible for wrecking his bar/karaoke place once or twice.
Maybe, Angel thought, Lorne would be good for Ghost. Not just because he could read her, but because of how Lorne was. He could imagine Ghost staring at Lorne dumbfounded as he called her things such as ‘pumpkin’ and ‘sweetie pie’. The vampire slipped out of the room, wincing as his hand passed through a spot of sunlight, and trotted down the stairs. He entered the main room to see Wesley toppling down on a chair, looking relaxed, with a big smile on his face. Cordelia stood in the office area, shuffling through papers, and Ghost was laughing at Wesley. Cordelia looked up as Angel entered the room.
“Your police-officer friend Kate came by while you were all upstairs meditating or whatever,” she said. “Gave me these papers, said we should look into the case. But we’ve already solved it.” She looked over at Ghost, and jumped to discover she was standing right next to her, grabbing the papers.
“They’re about me? And they know what I look like...” Ghost held up a paper with a sketch of her face on it. “I guess those people in the shop went to the police. I can’t believe that they were believed.”
Frowning, Angel walked over and also began to sort through the papers. “But why so late? Kate should’ve brought this to me the moment she heard about it.”
“Who’s Kate?” Ghost asked, but before anyone could answer, she jumped, half-crumpling the paper she held. Her blue eyes widened, scanning quickly across a paragraph, and her hands shook slightly.
“What is it?” Angel stepped behind her, and managed to read ‘this girl has been identified as the same one who’ before the paper caught on fire.
“Ahhh!” Ghost threw the paper on the floor and stomped on it, though not so quickly that the fire couldn’t burn a hole through the section Angel had read part of. “Damn it,” She cursed. “Sorry about that.”
“What did it say?” asked Wesley, who had stood up from his chair.
“Just something about me being really dangerous, and that police were allowed to shoot me if it seemed best.” The lie would have been convincing, if not for the segment Angel had read. He noticed that she gave him a nervous glance, but he didn’t say anything.
“So who’s Kate?” Ghost repeated, changing the subject.
“A friend Angel’s who’s a police officer. I already said that, but I guess you weren’t listening.” Cordy gingerly picked up the burnt paper, cringing as it hissed and faded into ashes.
“Okay, well, we obviously don’t need to worry about this,” Angel said, clearing his throat. “I was going to take Ghost to see Lorne tonight.”
“Yes, maybe he could offer some advice if she sings,” Wesley commented, repeating Angel’s earlier words. “Fixing the chair was a miraculous event, but- I fear the control is only temporary.” He sighed, gazing at the ashes of the paper.
After sundown...
Ghost, Angel, and Wesley all walked out the front door, Wesley glancing back at Cordy. She had refused to come, saying that someone should stay behind and mind the office.
“A convertible?” Ghost stared at the car, then turned to Angel in confusion. “Why the hell do you drive a convertible? Do you hate yourself, or something?”
“Uh, I just-” Angel stopped. He really didn’t have a good reason for driving a convertible, other than he really liked cars. But he wasn’t about to tell Ghost that.
“Doesn’t matter. It’s sweet.” She ran a long-fingered hand appreciatively along the side, then opened the passenger’s door, and sat down, ignoring Wesley’s glare as he slid in the back.
Angel hopped into his car and turned the key in the ignition, marveling at Ghost’s ever-changing personality. One moment she was a frightened, timid girl, and the next she was oohing over a car.
A few minutes later, they pulled up in front of Lorne’s karaoke bar. Ghost seemed to find the loud noises and flashing lights from inside intimidating; she took her time getting out of the car. Wesley slipped ahead of Angel to hold the door open for the girl, which was actually a good idea; she might not have entered otherwise. Looking extremely uncomfortable, Ghost walked through the door, and Angel thought he might have finally found someone who hated parties even more than he did.
A blast of foreign language met their ears, and Angel looked up at the all-too familiar stage, where a blue-skinned demon sang in an off-key, squeaky voice. Scanning the crowd for Lorne, Angel grabbed Ghost’s arm and dragged her towards the figure as he recognized him; it wasn’t that hard, with his vibrant green ‘skin’, or whatever it was.
“Lorne, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Angel had to shout to catch Lorne’s attention. The demon glanced to see who was speaking to him, and hurriedly sent away his companion, who looked like a giant mass of mud and flies.
“Angel, sweetie, I haven’t seen you in a madness-filled few weeks! Who’s your new friend?” Lorne greeted Angel as enthusiastically as ever. Recalling his earlier vision of Ghost’s face when she met Lorne, Angel chuckled to himself to see he had been completely accurate. Until Lorne started shaking Ghost’s hand vigorously, that is; then her eyes grew big, and her face turned even paler then normal.
“Hey, pumpkin, you another vampire? You’re as pale as one. And my, what gorgeous eyes you have, kind of remind me of my off-tone friend up there.” Ghost glanced around for some sort of escape, and scowled as she saw that Wesley had escaped to the bar. She tore her hand out of Lorne’s grasp as he nodded to the singer. “You here to sing, sweetie-pie? What’s your name?”
“Her name’s Ghost,” Angel told him after the girl stared in horror at Lorne for a few moments. Lorne was unfazed at her scowling, and grinned even wider at the revealing of her name.
“Ghost! Well, honey, you better get some more sun unless you really wanna live up to your name. You never answered, are you here to sing?” Ghost stiffly nodded, regretting that she had agreed to this horror. As Lorne glanced around at the crowd, apparently searching for Wesley, she shot a nasty look at Angel.
“I have to sing in front of all these people?” She hissed. Angel grinned.
“I’ve had to do it before,” He consoled her.
“Oh, so you are singing! Lovely to hear it, honey. You can hop right on the stage as soon as miss blue is done. Where’s Cordy and Wesley?”
“Wesley is getting drunk at your bar,” Ghost said, somehow portraying a scowl in her voice, “And Cordy didn’t come.” After a moment, she added in a mumble, “And I can’t really blame her.”
“Well! Sounds like someone needs to cheer up. C’mon, sweetcheeks, let’s get you up on stage.” Lorne pushed Ghost through a small opening by the side of the stage that would lead her to the stairs, as the blue demon stepped off the stage to cheers. Lorne said something to her that Angel couldn’t hear, but delighted her, and then rushed off after Ghost, who had not yet appeared on the stage. A few moments later she stumbled out, looking nervous, and walked up to the mic.
“Silly thing, she was trying to get out the back way,” Lorne told Angel, coming back out into the main room. Angel had almost expected that, but he didn’t say anything. He waited impatiently as the music started- it was dreary and depressing, but not slow- it was rock music. The words that left Ghost’s lips were beautiful, and her voice was breathtaking; but the instant the first word left her mouth, Lorne was frowning. Angel wanted to ask him why, but he didn’t want to interrupt the song:
Catch me as I fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and I fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
I know I can stop the pain
if I will it all away
if I will it all away
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
I'm frightened by what I see
but somehow I know
that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
if I will it all away
if I will it all away
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
Fallen angels at my feet
whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me I fear
she beckons me shall I give in
upon my end shall I begin
forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet the end
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
Don’t turn away
Don’t try to hide
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t turn out the light
Don’t turn away, yeah
Don’t try to hide....
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t turn out the light
A long round of applause followed Ghost’s song, but she just shrugged at it and hopped off the stage. Wesley had joined Angel and Lorne, one of whom he expected to be clapping enthusiastically, but was not. Lorne still had the frown on his face. Ghost walked over to the trio, and Angel couldn’t help but notice the surpressed smug smile she wore.
“Well? What didja see?” She asked casually- too casually. Angel looked suspiciously at her, but she appeared not to notice his evaluation.
“Nothing,” Lorned uttered. “Nothing at all, and I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing for you, pumpkin.”
Angel stared at Lorne in confusion as he said ‘nothing’. Out of the corner of his eye, Angel could have swore for an instant, Ghost had a triumphant smirk decorating her mouth, but when he turned to look straight at her, it was replaced with a look of confusion.
“...Nothing? What- what does that mean?” Oh yes, she was a very good actor.
“Yes, what does-” Wesley began, than stopped, staring at something on Ghost’s wrist. She glanced down to see what he was looking at, then stiffened at crossed her arms. “Let me see your wrist,” Wesley commanded, Angel only realizing just now that Ghost had always worn long sleeves.
“Why? It’s- this doesn’t mean anything,” Ghost nearly fell as Angel, in a quick movement, jerked her arm out from her body and pushed back her sleeve. Wesley nearly pounced on her arm as he examined the silver bracelet gracefully encircling her slender wrist.
“That’s a powerful magickal artifact! The runes inscribed on this- they contain- binding spells, it looks like, and reflective, and protection, and- and just about everything else. Where did you get this?” Wesley looked up at Ghost’s face only for a moment, his eyes being drawn back down to the item, studying it carefully.
“Doesn’t matter,” Angel said. “Now we know why Lorne couldn’t read her, and why she agreed to come here in the first place.” Amazingly, Ghost met Angel’s eyes, glaring right back at him. “What exactly is it that you’re hiding, Ghost?”
“If I was going to tell you, you would already know,” The girl snapped, freeing herself from Wesley and turning from the group, running for the door.
“Ghost, wait!” Angel called, starting to run after her, but he tripped on somebody’s foot. He caught himself, but Ghost was able to escape out the door, and by the time Angel, Wesley and Lorne had gotten to it, Ghost was nowhere in sight.
“We have to find her,” Angel stated cryptically.
“Of course,” Wesley replied. “I need a better look at that artifact.” Angel gave him a look, then started off into the darkness.
“Take the car back and tell Cordy what happened,” Angel said, tossing the keys for his convertible to Wesley before disappearing into the shadows.
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