Morning in a motel

Ireland, the new girl, is sitting on her bed singing to the music. The audience can tell that she doesn’t have a reflection because she’s facing the mirror. Then her watch alarm goes off and her reflection appears.

Classroom in Sunnydale High

Teacher: Alexander Harris, Ireland McArthur and Oz Williams work together. Pick an aspect of Europe during the Renaissance to teach the class about. Pick your subject and get to work.

Xander: Hey, you’re new right? I’m Xander and that’s Oz.

Ireland: Yeah, I just moved here from New York.

Oz: So this is your first day?

Ireland: Yeah, so what do you think we should talk about? I like Machiavelli myself.

Xander: Sounds good to me, I don’t know who he is, but his name sounds cool.

Ireland: Great, I used to have a copy of his book, but I think it got lost in the move, could one of you show me where the library is so that I can get a copy?

Oz: Come on, Ireland, that’s an interesting name.

Ireland: Yeah, I was born there, mom said that my eyes reminded her of the countryside. Call me Erin though, it’s easier.

Xander: Why Erin? You lived in Ireland? I’m so jealous, how long did you live there for?

Ireland: Erin is Ireland in Celtic or something, lived there for forty (her voice drops off as she realizes that she shouldn’t say that) four years. Sorry, four years.

Inside the Library

Buffy: So Giles, what’s wrong? You’re keeping something from me. You know you shouldn’t do that. Last time, I died.

Giles: Well, I’m not really sure, but a new passage in the Codex says that the final slayer’s time is now.

Willow: That’s good, right? I mean that means Buffy defeats all the vampires, right?

Giles: I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. It seems that Spike and Drusilla have found something that will ruin the chances of another slayer.

Cordy: That’s a bad, right?

Buffy: So Spike and Drus-Ello!

Xander: Hey Bufster, G-man, Willster.

Giles: How many times do I have to tell you NOT to call me that?

Cordy: HEY!

Xander: Oh yeah, hey Cordy.

Willow: Who’s your friend?

Xander: Oh come on Will, no need to be cute, that’s Oz.

Oz: I think she meant our OTHER friend.

Ireland: Hi, I’m Ireland McArthur.

Xander: Right, um, this is Willow, Cordelia, Buffy, and Giles.

Giles: What did you say your name was?

Ireland: Ireland McArthur, why?

Giles: If you’ll excuse me, I have to make a phone call.

Ireland: Guessing from his tone, that's not good?

Xander: Not unless you’re a scary bloodsucking demon.

Ireland: (under her breath) Oh shit. (louder) What? Oh sorry, I have to go.

Giles: It seems that, where did she go?

Cordy: She just ran off.

Giles: Strange, well, you may as well know, it seems that Kendra’s replacement has been called here, to be trained by me.

The Mansion

Drusilla: Spike, I’m hungry. What are we going to have for dinner?

Spike: Slayer, pet. We’re gonna have slayer.

Drusilla: Spike, she’s coming...she’s gonna help us.

Spike: Who pet? Did you have a vision?

Drusilla: She’s a friend of Daddy. She’s gonna help us...Ireland

The Mansion, later that day

Ireland: Spike, Drusilla. I know you’re here, I can smell you.

Drusilla (whining): You hurt my Spikey.

Ireland: Oh don’t worry about him, he’ll live...well, he’ll unlive. He’ll be undead. You know what I mean, it just doesn’t work with the undead. He’ll be fine. (pointing at him) He actually taught me that. So, Drusilla, you’re looking stronger than the last time I saw you. When was that? Prague 96?

Drusilla: Spikey helped me get strong again.

Ireland: I know, and you nearly killed MY Angel in the process.

Drusilla: Are you going to help us get Angel back?

Ireland: Help you? Why would I help you? YOU KILLED MY FAMILY!

Drusilla: You’re one of the family though, family helps each other.

Ireland: I’m not going to help you. IO hate you, and I’m not your family...during the day.

Library

Willow: Welcome back.

Xander: Erin, slayer, where’d you go?

Ireland: Nowhere, I just had something to do. Sorry for running out (just realizing) Slayer?

Buffy: We’ll let Giles do this one. He loves it.

Giles: It seems that you are the slayer, the one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires.

Cordy: I got it! Buffy died, Kendra came, Kendra came, now Erin is the slayer?

Xander: What page are you on Cor? Cause we already got there.

Ireland (to Buffy): You died?

Buffy: Yeah, only for a minute. It kinda sucked.

Ireland: Yeah it does.

Giles: Report here at eight o’clock for training.

Library, about seven o’clock that night

Willow: So what are we looking for?

Buffy: I don’t know, there was just something about her that seemed strange.

Xander: She seemed normal to me.

Oz: Yeah, but what kind of name is Ireland?

Cordy: But in this town, I mean Oz? Buffy? Willow? Rupert? We all have odd names.

Xander: It’s the hellmouth I tell you.

Giles: I hate to bring this up Buffy; but, I don’t think we’ll find anything if we don’t know what to look for.

Ireland: Looking for things on me? Let me guess? I gave you the creeps. Check the watcher diaries about 240 years ago. The name Farr.

Drusilla: I hope we’re not interrupting your party.

Ireland: Not at all, not at all. Buffy, you take Drusilla, I got Spike.

Buffy: How come I get...nevermind.

Spike: Hello again Farr.

Ireland: Spike, bastard, how-ya-been?

Spike: I’m gonna suck you dry.

Ireland (steps up and offers her neck): Try it...(switches hair to other side so we see vamp/bite-scars) no wait, I don’t want any new scars. Here please.

Spike: I killed you.

Ireland: I guess that’s one thing you and Angel have in common, well other than Drusilla.

Drusilla: Have you seen my Angel? I need my Angel.

Buffy: Your Angel? MY Angel was sent to HELL

Drusilla: eeewwwww....

Ireland (facing Drusilla): Buffy, just let her be. She'll leave, and if she causes any more trouble, we can kill her.

Buffy: No way she gets out alive.

Ireland: I told you to let her be.

Xander: You did that?

Ireland: No, she did. She’s just using her gypsy magic.

Willow: How did you know?

Ireland: I’ve faced her before.

Oz: So what do we do?

Ireland: Just leave her be. The sun’ll be up in a few hours, and she’ll leave by then.

Ireland: Nice try.

Ireland: Ow, that really hurt.

Ireland: What’d you expect? Dust?

Ireland: Don’t even think about it Xander, it’s not what it seems. One, you can’t kill me, and two, I’m on your side.

Ireland’s hotel room

Ireland: In here, come on in...sit in there, I’ll get tea and stuff.

Ireland: I guess you guys want to know what my deal is, huh?

Giles: Yes, um, that would be helpful.

Ireland: Ok, Giles, you might want to take notes on this for future generations. Xander, you have the watcher diary from the 1750’s?

Xander: Sure do.

Ireland: Why don’t you read what it says about a vampire named Angelus.

Buffy: Angel?

Willow: Erin, we’ve had encounters with him, we know his deal, what does he have to do with you?

Ireland: Well, you already know about him, then I guess look for a vampire named Farr. You might want to leave out the details, Xander.

Xander: Ok, Farr - evil vampire from Ireland, this says she’s a paramour of Angelus, what’s a paramour?

Cordy: His lover.

Ireland (under her breath): Idiot.

Cordy: Me?

Ireland: No, sorry, Farr was never his paramour, Angelus used to be pretty good at staying away form slayers, he didn’t want anybody to know hiss weaknesses. I guess those aren’t going to give any accurate information, so I’ll tell it like it is. Plain and simple, I was Farr.

Cordy: You’re Farr?

Ireland: I was, yes.

Buffy: You slept with Angel?

Ireland: No, can we say incest? Sick much? He’s my brother.

Giles: Dear lord.

Xander: Your brother?

Ireland: Yes, look, I’m going to make this as short as I can, Giles, I’ll give you the sick details later. Anyway, the night that Angel was turned, he came home to kill us...mom, dad, me and Philip - our little brother - Anyway, I fought back with a big kitchen knife, cut his neck, then he drained me, and I guess it was reaction, but I drank from him too. It changed me, but they still thought I was dead, so I was buried with the rest of the family then I rose three days later, at that point he was long gone. I pretty much followed him all over Europe, protecting him, staying in the shadows, he was always rash and impulsive, I was worried he’d get in trouble - and they say that vampires don’t have any emotions - Anyway. After he attacked the gypsy and got cursed, I followed him through, but one of them had a dream and they were waiting for me, they knocked me out and gave me my soul back. When I woke up, I didn’t remember anything and they took me in, I took the girl’s place in the clan. I lived with them until 1996, they always told me that I was just special, that was why I never got older. Anyway, we were in Prague when your good friend Spike fed off me - obviously didn’t kill me - that set off the ‘angry mob’ that ‘killed’ Drusilla. As payback, Spike came and killed the entire clan, just when I got back to them, the elderwoman touched my head, said “Angelus,” and I remembered everything. Since them, I’ve been tracking him down.

Oz: So how can you go out in the sunlight?

Ireland: Oh sorry, living with the Gypsies trained me with magic, and I found a spell that restored half my mortality. So now I’m immortal during the day and a vampire with a soul at night.

Willow: You’re a wicca?

Giles: So you can’t be killed?

Ireland: Yes, I’m a wicca, and no I can’t be killed. Any questions?

Buffy: I think I got it, and I guess we have to take your word for it.

Library, the next morning

Ireland: So - Where is my brother?

Buffy: I killed him...sent him to hell.

Willow: I could have sworn the spell worked.

Ireland: What spell?

Willow: Restoration, I tried it twice, I really thought it worked the second time, it was like I felt something go through me.

Buffy: You tried it twice?

Willow: Yeah, Xander told you.

Buffy: Xander said you said to kick his.....XANDER!?!

Xander: Present.

Willow: Xander, you didn’t tell her that I was trying the spell again. I can’t believe that. Buffy could have stalled and Angel might still be here if you....

Xander (cutting her off): Angel is a killer, he deserved to die.

Ireland: Xander, I know this is none of my business, but that’s not your choice to make. Angelus deserves hell, as does Farr. I can promise you - from experience - that Angel regrets everything that the demon did with his body. He puts himself through hell every day, he doesn’t deserve it. The demon deserves hell, just as the demon in me does, but Angel and I don’t deserve it. If Angel is in hell now, then he’s suffering more than you can imagine, and more than he ever deserves.

Buffy: Everybody STOP! I’m just as pissed as you Ireland, and you Willow, but that’s not the point right now. I really don’t want to think about it, I can’t think about it, that was why I left town, can we not talk about it right now? Plus, we have a very serious prophecy that is going to be fulfilled in the next few days that we have to sort out. We can deal with this later.

Giles: A very good idea. Lets get to work everyone.

Ireland: Ok - team meeting - Giles, what do we know?

Giles: Well, the codes is somewhat unreadable, it’s been burned, but as far as is legible, the final slayer is here now.

Buffy: That’s easy enough. She’s the last slayer. She’s immortal, she’s gotta be it.

Giles: That sounds right, but that’s too simple, and quite frankly, a prophesy is never what it seems. Do you have any insight, Erin?

Ireland: Well, Drusilla can’t take me on, I know that much, so I’m thinking she’ll call on a demon.

Cordy: Gee, that narrows it down.

Xander: Shut up Cor.

Ireland: No, she’s right. That wasn’t very helpful. She had a favorite demon, one that reminded her of herself, I wish Angel were here, he knows her better than I do. This was always his thing, he never wanted to do the dirty work, he had demons do it for him.

Buffy: Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but could we please not talk about Angel?

Ireland: Sorry, I know it’s touchy with you. I might have something at my motel that would be of help, how bout I meet you guys at the Bronze tonight? I’m gonna head on over there, I’ve got a bunch of stuff to go through to find it.

Willow: Do you want my help?

Ireland: No, it’s ok, there’s stuff in there that I don’t want anybody else to see. Stuff that you wouldn’t want to know about.

Xander: What all?

Ireland: Well, lots and lots of blood, and lots and lots of gruesome killings. Basically the parts of horror movies that they leave out.

Buffy: Raise your hand if EW.

Ireland: I warned you, anyway, I’m going to go do that, I’ll see you guys tonight.