Disclaimer: If I owned Buffy and Angel they would be where they deserve.... in each others arms. They’re Joss’s, Fury’s, etc.
Rating: PG -13, I don’t really know. It’s pure fluff.
Spoilers: None.
Timeline: This takes place before Sanctuary(AtS) and The Yoko Factor(BtVS)
Couplings: B/R(yuck) and shades of B/A, always.
Summary: What did Buffy tell Riley about Angel? Riley’s POV.
Author’s note: I have issues with The Yoko Factor, I admit it but even though I don’t like Riley’s character I love his line: “She doesn't love me.” And just let me say: DUH!
Contrary to what you may think after reading this I believe people have a special connection to their high school sweetheart. Since I’m just leaving high school (hopefully) my opinion is a little impartial but about Buffy and Angel: I think it’s most important the fact that they are each other’s first love and no one gets over that. (Do they? For my sake I hope so).
Feedback: Please send it to BAalways@msn.com

“Faith...she wasn’t always like that. We were actually a sort of friends for a while. One night when we were patrolling she...she killed a man.”

I widen a little not being able to imagine Buffy friend’s with someone like that, much less a slayer murdering someone. But then again after everything that happened I admit things like that don’t surprise me quite a much as I once would have thought.

“Angel and I...” She stops in mid-sentence and I recognize the look on her face. I don’t know why but sometimes, out of the blue, she freezes in the middle of an action or of a word and gets tat half-panicked, half-faraway look. In those moments I feel like nothing can touch her, wherever she is, but as suddenly as it happens she blinks and puts a bright smile. Every now and then it wavers but it’s a smile nevertheless.

“Angel?” I ask all of a sudden remembering the name is vaguely familiar.

And once again she looks at me and I have the distinct feeling she’s not seeing me.

“Ex-boyfriend.”

Okay, no excepting that one. But come on how important is a high school romance? And what kind of name is “Angel “for a guy?

“We tried to help her but she betrayed us. I put her in a coma after she tried to kill him. That’s why I have to go to LA, to help him. To stop her.”

Sure I can understand that. It’s not like I have a reason to be insecure. Jealous? Hell yes. Insecure? No way.

“What happened with you to? “

“We fought. She fell. She got into a coma. End of story.”

“I meant with Angel.”

“Oh.”

She looks away from me and goes to stand by the window, just staring. For a moment it looks like she won’t tell me anything until I hear her take a deep breath and see her put her arms around herself.

“He left town. He would lose his soul if he had stayed.”

“Lose his soul?” What a preposterous idea. “A person doesn’t...” All of a sudden I shut up because a thought comes to my mind. Something that can’t be true. No. Not Buffy. She would never...

“He’s a vampire. He was cursed with a soul about a century ago. He’s...he isn’t like any other vampire. He does good and not because he has to but because he chooses to. He has a beautiful soul.” She says, half-whispering the last part. But there’s also a cold note to her tone . Whether it’s towards him or to protect herself from something... I don’t know. I don’t want to know.

I can’t help but frown at the emotions clear in her voice Wonder? Respect? Adoration? Towards a vampire?

“A soul he would lose if he had a moment of true happiness. Because he didn’t want to hurt anyone he left. “

“It seems you cared for him.”

She rapidly turns to me with an expression I have never seen on her. She seems so...broken? Is that it? But why?

“Yes” she whispers in a horse voice. There’s no “I did but it’s in the past” nor a “He was a good friend but you have nothing to worry”. She just stands there.

“I better leave now. I still have to go by Giles’s house. Will you be okay?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. But be careful. ”

She nods absently and gives me a quick kiss before leaving without a glance backwards.

Now I know why occasionally she stares at something or takes a deep breath that seems to suffocate her. She may be my girlfriend and I may love her more than anything but now I know.

She’s not my girl, never was and probably never will be.

She’s his.

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