Rating: PG-14 (otherwise, you can watch it, you can read it)
Summary: Set one year after my pieces 'The Rosy Glow Of Play Acting', and 'Not What I Had Expected', and two years after Angel has left Sunnydale to search for his redemption. Our two melancholy friends have a chance encounter and old feelings come zipping to the surface. AN: This is the last you'll hear of this series, it will go into hibernation on my website, and will only be available there. Wait, I take it back, I'm going to put it on the other site I work on, The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter.
Spoilers: Mild Season 5/Season 2, most of Season 4/Season 1, and some of my insane reality. This is to put the voices in my head at rest so they'll let me sleep.
Disclaimer: I don't own, see, talk to, or work with them. I only admire and rage from a distance of several thousand miles of land.
Distribution: My site: Amy's Fanfiction Addiction, and THIALH. Anyone else, please ask first.
Feedback: Absolutely, I don't write without those wonderful people who give me encouraging feedback.
Dedications: To those who read my stories, no matter how dumb I make them. To my betas, you know who you are, you wonderful people. To Gils, for letting me have to opportunity to work with you on the fanfic section to your page. To the love of my life, TM, for giving me courage and joy when this school year has been hell on earth, I miss you, these last two years apart have been hard. And finally, to my best friend BM, we've been friends since third grade, and yet you still inspire me to reach for the stars.

It's been two years, and still I yearn for the strength and safety of his arms encompassing my body. All this time, and I still only feel whole in the circle of his steady embrace. Though I'm too stubborn to admit that I still want him, I sense my friends know the truth. Riley Finn was nothing more to me than a game. I had wanted to prove to them all that I could move on, that I wasn't mooning over Angel. What happened was that I used an innocent man, who ended up dying believing I loved him when it was far from the truth.

I haven't seen Angel in so long that I sometimes believe I am forgetting what he looked like, what he felt like, and it scares the hell out of me, because I never want to forget, those memories are the only thing keeping me going. I see him everywhere, whispers of shadows in the darkness that disappear every time I grow near, proving to be only my imagination.

I know now, like I have for a long time, that I must leave Sunnydale, go anywhere but here. The memories and disappointments and so thick around me that they're strangling me, choking off my air. And so I board the airplane in front of me with a sad note in my heart as I say goodbye to my past for once and for all.

It's been two years, and I can still smell the floral fragrance of her peaches and cream skin, still feel the silky texture of her thick mane of hair as I tangle my fingers in it. I long to taste her lips, lose myself in the depths of her eyes, and wrap her in my arms, as we lay silent on my bed. I think I am a fool to want a woman I can never again have, and my actions seem to prove my thoughts. The hurt, forlorn look on her face the night I left is burned into my mind, and invades my dreams more than nightly, more than during my waking hours. I can still see her skin flush with innocent blush, hear her youthful giggle ringing in my ears. I can still hear her murmured words of love shared over stolen moments as if it were new.

I am untouched by time, I cannot grow old with her, and that is the painstaking truth that forced me to leave her two years ago. I don't want to see her die, I don't want to know I'll have to spend eternity alone, damned against finding solace with the woman I love, the woman who loves me for who I am. Every woman I see lately wears her face as if the gods are mocking my pain with this cruel trick.

It is only harder now that I know of my reward, my 'shansu', I will one day be human. But it means nothing to me if I can't share it with her. I don't want to live if she's not with me or in my life some how. I'm leaving LA, going on a vacation. Cordelia ordered me to, she says she won't let me come back to work for two weeks, and that I have to leave Los Angeles to get this so called rest. With the Gem of Amara on my finger, and a bag in my hand, I board the plane in front of me, and sigh as I wonder to which adventure it will take me.

As our plane makes a stop in Los Angeles, I think I might be crazy. I sense Angel, but then I always think that's he's around and set myself up for heartache every time I find out it's just a mirage. I don't pay attention to the people boarding, I just pull the blanket higher over my head. I'm cold, and alone, and I don't want to be recognized by anyone. I feel someone sit next to me and knock my foot slightly, he grumbles an apology, and I say nothing. I sigh with relief as the attendant welcomes us to this American Airlines, nonstop flight to Dublin, Ireland.

Instinctively, my slender hand snakes out and closes the window behind my head; I can sense my companion's relief, though I don't bother to wonder why. But just as I'm about to drift off to sleep, I hear the stewardess ask to see my ticket in a snotty voice. Angered, I give a huff, and my left hand reaches down into my carry on bag and pulls it out, handing it to her. I know the woman's eyes widen as she reads my name and flyer status. She apologizes and hands it back to me though I have yet to move out from under my blanket. Suddenly a strong hand snatches my extended wrist as I move to pull it back. An outraged noise escapes me, and I yank hard, only to end up popping my wrist out of joint with the force of his grip. And I hear a familiar voice rasp my name.

I board the plane with a peculiar sensation in my gut, the one I always had when she was near. But I dismiss it as I settle into my seat next to a tiny figure covered from head to foot by a heavy blanket. I smile, at first thinking it's a child, but then an elegant hand slowly comes out and shuts the window behind her head, and I wonder if it's a vampire. But since I don't sense any demons up here beside myself, I let it pass.

I think the flight attendant was jealous that someone was sitting in the only seat beside me, and I seemed to be enjoying that, for she stopped and demanded the woman's ticket. I smiled when I heard the tiny figure's angry, indignant sound as she reached to her bag and pulled out a ticket. I don't know who she is, but the name of the ticket made the attendant go white with fear, before handing it back and scampering away. As the girl next to me was drawing her hand back under the blanket, a ring flashed and caught my eyes, which widened as I realized who she was. I grabbed her wrist, and she tried to jerk it away, and her name rose off my lips hoarsely.

The blanket fell away to reveal the woman who I loved so dearly. A soft cry of anguish escaped her lips before she burst into tears and lunged at me, hugging me tightly, murmuring my name over and over again. I simply held her and enjoyed feeling her hair, her skin once again.

I am holding him; his arms are circling me. I can't be happier, I feel as if I'm floating on a wave of euphoria that Angel and I can be together once more. I want to believe the fates put us both on this plane for a reason, so that we could remain together forever. Like he promised me all those years ago. But I know that we cannot remain forever untouched by destiny. "I love you," I whisper to him, watching in confusion as his eyes light up with joy, and he kisses me softly, and suddenly everything else just falls away. I whimper softly when he pulls back, but he smiles.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…" I let his words lull me into a joyful stupor for the rest of the flight, this trip will definitely work out for me.

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